She just doesnt know...

I live in Baptist Childrens Home. Im on home visit right now. My mom acts like she dont want me even here. She acts as though she hates me and i have changed so much she just doesnt take the time to look at that. I dont know what to do anymore. Im so confused right now. There is nothing i can do to prove to her ive changed bc ive tried everything. Ive tried talking to her about anything. And she like dont believe me. Freakin i just dont feel like im wanted and i dont belong here. I really wanna come home though i hate it at the home. She told me i was there for cutting and my sex life but i had no sex life b4 i came. But little does she know ive been with 14 guys. 6 of them rape. She has no clue what the heck im going through and how bad i just need her. And my dad at that. She just doesnt know.

You're being raped at the home? Have you called the police about this?

not at the home... when i was livin with my mom i was raped 6 times

I'm so sorry to hear about the rapes. That has to be completely terrible to live with! All I can say is keep trying to talk to your mom no matter how useless it seems. I know this can be very hard on you. You are dealing with so much right now. Are you in some type of therapy? Have you talked to the people at the home about your abuse? I'd suggest getting some kind of help for yourself and telling as many people as will listen about your abuse.

((((((((Puzzles))))))))))

You are a brave person. I'm sorry that your mother isn't what you need her to be right now. I know that is painful, and you deserve much more. I pray that you can form a vision in your mind for a greater future for yourself. You can pick people to be your friends who love you and care for you. You have allot to give.

Sometimes i do a survey... Who is at the outer edges of my life that has the ability and capacity to care for someone, that I could start to move closer inside. You might think of brining someone else in your life (like a teacher, friend, pastor's wife) who can give you the love that you can't yet find in your mom. You are truely cared about!!!

we all have an inner beauty that just seems to shine no matter what they do...I can see yours very clearly T. P. D.I.

Mystry

right now she wont listen i try n try to talk to her about what ive went through... she wont listen or she dont believe me... Im in therapy and its helping me get through and my house parents are always there for me... thanks alot for caring....

I am sorry that you are going through all of this pain right now.

Your mother may not have much to give. There is a possibility that if she listened to your pain she may have to tap into some of her own. Regardless, it is sad that she cannot be there for you in the way that a mother should be.

It is good that your house parents are there for you. Unfortunately, you may need to get your mothering from someone else besides your mother.

Take care of yourself. Your mother may not understand, but please know that others do.

i try talking to her about my rapes but she dont believe any of them happened it sucks

Me and my mom actually had a nice long talk last night... im coming home for good soon...

That's great news, TPD