Run down and wore out

I am so tired of trying to be all right by acting all right. I've finally broken down and told my family exactly how I feel. Which is that if I don't get some kind of help or change soon, I'm going to loose it completely.
I tried to get into one of the local psych wards today, but they are both full up. I have to wait till Monday to do anything else. On Monday I'm gonna start calling around for a psychiatrist, but it will probably take a few weeks before I can go see one. I want a therapist to, but it will be the same thing there. I am probably going to take whatever comes first, pdoc, t, or hospital. I just hope that something changes soon. I'm not thinking about death, I just want to feel better. I want to be my old self again. I want to feel something instead of just being down or numb or with my thoughts all scattered. I keep crying all the time for no reason. I just don't know what to do.

Hi Angel,

I'm pretty much feeling the same way - run down and tired of my current situation, trying all kind of remedies to ease this long bout of depression, but not getting the results I want because it seems my brain has all but shut down completely. It's funny, when you think all the fight is gone out of you, a little spark comes back to drive you on a little further. I wish you well and all that's good. I hope with all my heart that you get the help you are diligently seeking and that you rise from this slump.

(((((((((((( angel ))))))))))))

That little spark is in there!!!! let it chase out all the negative thoughts!!!! even it it is just one negative thought at a time, one minute at a time....

BrokenAngel1218 and Maria38Divine...
Hang in there.

I hope something positive for you happens soon.

I just got back from my new pdoc! I was prescribed Paxil and Ativan and I have to go back in two weeks to see how they are doing. I will start seeing a therapist next week. I'm so happy that I'm finally getting things done. This is great! I feel better knowing that all this crap is finally going to start to be better. Yay!
And thanks to all the people who sent good vibes my way.

Thanks for the update, BrokenAngel. Good for you for reaching out and seeking help. Good luck with the new Paxil and Ativan.

Fab-u-lous Angel!!! Wow, keep on going, girl! You can't see me, but I'm actually smiling just reading about your progress.

Im so glad you are getting help. Keep posting here and that will make you feel better too.

I'm glad you are feeling better

Thanks for tll the encouragement everyone! I am will continue to post and keep everyone updated. I told my husband earlier; I am not to a point of balance quite yet, but I can at least see that point now.