[nervous1afraid]

i dont know what to do. my bf wants to have another child but im not ready and he still wants another one. he isnt forceful but i feel pressured. im not in the right state of mind right now. he doesnt know about my depression anxiety or my horrible past. im scared and i feel alone. i was thinking about going on the pill behind his back but feel the guilt would eat away at me i dont know what to do and i feel so alone i just want to cry or worse SI. if i go on the pill and not tell him then im deceiving him.

[Astridetal]

Why don't you talk to your bf about your mental health issues? Just curious, since if you can share and he understands, he may get a clue why you are not ready (and may never be ready) for another child.

[turquoisesea]

Tell him you're not ready. That should be enough. Its your body and your choice. Get the pill and tell him you're going on the pill.

Tell him your doctor says there are reasons you should wait to have children till later (and be prepared to not fully explain why, or tell him about depression/anxiety)

excuse me for asking this, but this other child is yours too? How long have you been with him?

[nervous1afraid]

he was verbally abusive in the past and we recently got back together and he has changed alot but i feel sometimes he is slipping back into his old ways. he used to threaten in the past that if we split up that he would take full custody. ya the child is mine and his too and we've been together 7 years he is 33 im 25

[kaliope]

nervous
I know this must be really difficult for you to talk to your boyfriend about but having a child or deceiving him by going on the pill would be even more difficult. you need to sit down and have a discussion with him about it. if he truly loves you, as somebody prepared to have a family with you would, he would be open to having this type of conversation. for you to have a child at this point would be very detrimental to your mental health and is not a place a parent needs to be to raise a healthy child. our children can only be as healthy as we are and if we arent doing well our children cannot do well either. your boyfriend certaining would not want this for his child, would he? tell him he needs to wait for a time where you feel you are healthy enough to give your all to raising a kid, a healthy happy kid, now is just not the time.

Hello, nervous1afraid. I am concerned about you. I hope you are safe. Frankly, your friend seems to be a control person who is now bullying you about having another child.

Yes, I think you need to talk to your friend about what you are dealing with. In fact, I hope you seriously consider getting profession help.

I wish you well.

[Mustkeepjob32]

My first thought is you should sit him down and talk to him about your mental health issues. But then it occurred to me that maybe the reason you haven't shared that with him, is because you don't trust him totally. In that case, it's much more serious even. I just hope he isn't becoming verbally abusive again and the no longer threatens.

Z