[ruckus940]

I realize that we can't go through this life alone but after hearing from so many people {usually ones who don't realize my desperate situation} things like "depressed people just need to get over it"," everyone has problems,you just need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and continue on", "You're not depressed!", "you become part of the problem instead of the solution". After telling my husband I was molested I got the "everyone has problems"...kinda "just deal with it" mentality. I mean where do you turn for help, for friends-the ones I have turn their back on me and run--leaving me alone again. So we need help---in the comfort of others, but also need to be okay on our own. Where/Who do I turn to and how do I do it alone if I'm not supposed to do it alone? It's a fine line and I have NO trust in anyone anymore. Get stabbed in the back and left so many times how do you continue forward with any relationship? Hope this makes "sense" Don't mean to sound crazy...just trying to figure it all out. Thanks for reading.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Ruckus940!

Ah, the "classics"...

• "depressed people just need to get over it"
• "everyone has problems"
• "pull yourself up by your bootstraps"
• "You're not depressed!"
• "you become part of the problem instead of the solution"
• "just deal with it"

Originally Posted by ruckus940

Where/Who do I turn to...?

If you feel unsafe with yourself, then it is advisable to immediately contact a help line or emergency services. If you are not in imminent danger, then a help line, a medical doctor or social services in your area may be able to help you.

Please keep posting and looking around the forums.

[unaluna]

You go to therapy. Regular people don't even know how to deal with their own regular issues, let alone someone else's that really do require training to understand the effects on people, and how to help them. Sometimes you need more than just a shoulder to cry on. So the people in your life can love you, but not know how to help you - it doesn't mean they don't care about you. They just don't know what to do or what to say. It IS up to you to go after the help you need - but like the song says, you need to look for this love and help in the RIGHT places. You don't have to be alone.

Hi Ruckus

I've heard all that 'snap out of it' talk as well. Thing is, if I wasn't suffering from depression I probably wouldn't 'get it' either, I'd just figure that 'depressed' people need to stop being lazy, get over themselves and quit complaining. Of course, unfortunately, we know the reality of living with depression, and I don't think it's something I think someone can really imagine unless they've been there. I've lost friends because of it, and yeah, that's hard. People can be afraid of what they don't understand. You just have to value those people who do stand by you, even if they don't always realise just what it is you're going through.

Like Hankster and Rohag have said, you don't have to be alone - I'm sure you'll find it helpful to become part of the community on the forum, for a start. I don't know if you're already seeing a doctor, or a therapist, but medication and different types of therapy can be good, too.

Best wishes

[St406]

I, too, have come to similar conclusions. The average person just doesn't have the ability to understand or help someone suffering with depression. And at times I think their attempts to uplift us just make us feel more alone. Like hankster recommends--a therapist who is trained to help us move forward is part of the answer. It seems many are also intimidated by those who display emotions and frames of mind that are out of the norm. I've found this forum to be excellent and I look to find depression support groups where people meet on a weekly basis.

[ruckus940]

I haven't been in therapy for a very long time. Didn't seem to do much good at the moment. Maybe why I'm so alone is I drive everyone away? They usually stick around for a couple two-three months, then go to happier pastures which then sets my wall higher and thicker for the next victim...I mean.. person. I am always good at listening to others and heling them but nobody for me. I can't clearly state what I need when I don't know what I need. Thanks for posting!

[paperhalf]

I got the same feeling as you guys. Its like the feeling is gonna fade away after waking up in the morning. We need each other because we understand or at least know it really feels. I just joined this forum by the way. :>