[totallymental]

I am new to this group and i don't know if im posting in the right place or not. If it's in the wrong place apologies.

I don't know whats wrong with me, all that i can say is that i feel nothing besides anger, sadness and irritability. I don't get any enjoyment out of anything or anyone. I am currently in a long term relationship and im finding it very hard as i don't know how to show emotion or affection. The only way that i know i love her is that when i think of her dying or leaving i want to cry. She now is pressuring me to get married and i don't know if i want to because of this she is always on at me about being more affectionate and open but i don't know how to do that.

Many bad things have happened in my life which i believe have pushed me to be this way but i don't know how to fix it. i only mentioned a few things in my life i did not want to write an essay for you guys to go through. any and all advice would be helpful, thank you

[St406]

I do know that some of what you describe--the anger, irritability, sadness and lack of showing emotion are common in depression and the lesser forms of it. I have suffered from it in varying degrees since childhood and experience those feelings. You mention a change in you that you think comes from traumatic events. I'm certainly no authority but maybe you could talk to a therapist to examine those issues. I've been in therapy off and on in life and it is true that life's negativity and our emotional traumas can have a cumulative effect on us.

I would clearly recommend that you hold off on marriage while you are going through such emotional turmoil. It's a massive decision and I would focus on examining what you are going through first.

In general, many people detail their problems here--I wouldn't hesitate. I'm new to it but can see that the people that frequent it have insight that may help. It's also a safe place to get support and understanding.

Hello totallymental, welcome to PC.

As St406 mentioned, I think you should probably hold off on that marriage. You don't seem to be ready for it at all, and I think it's important that you let your girlfriend know about this.

I would recommend seeing a therapist so you two could figure out exactly why you feel and act the way you do, and examine how to deal with these issues, as well as your past. It won't be easy, but I think it's necessary for you to move on and enjoy life.

I hope you find this site to be a supportive environment. Don't worry about posting too much, by the way - we are here to listen and provide support/input. Post whenever you feel the need!

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Totallymental!

Originally Posted by totallymental

1. ...i don't know how to show emotion or affection.
2. Many bad things have happened in my life...

I think exploring the possible connections between those would be valuable. Are you in a position to obtain professional assistance?

[totallymental]

Hey guys thank you for your replies they are appreciated. unfortunately i am unable to afford professional help at this stage once my debt has been cleared up then i might be able to swing it.

The problem with me talking to my girlfriend about not getting married at this stage is that she suffers form anxiety disorder she gets really anxious over everything and in my unprofessional opinion she also suffers from abandonment issues. she has told me many times that she is scared of me leaving her thats one of her reasons for wanting to get married soon and when i give my excuses she gets anxious.

Naturally i don't want her to feel that way so i avoid the issue totally which i suppose in turn makes her feel even more anxious!!

i guess we are the perfect couple