[skittles]

sometimes i feel worthless...... ive always worked .. even through high school.... when i wanted or need things i would buy it for myself.... now i dont work and cant see myself working anymore.... now i rely on my b/f or family to get what i need........ it feel wrong for letting them do it , but i also like that they take care of me...... i just dont know whats wrong with me....... some would say im being lazy.. but if they only knew.....

I'm glad you know that you are trying your best. Its true that we live in a world where sometimes people arent compassionate. Whats most important now is that you give yourself some compassion and time to heal.

[Rhapsody]

Dear Skittles, ((((((( HUGS )))))))

Some times when we feel worthless about our self based on how someone from our past made us feel through their own rejection or abandonment of us, we tend to make that reality come true in our waking hours.... you have to find a way to change your inner belief system or you will always feel worthless and use less..... and all based a lie from another person.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[jmo531]

(((((((((((((((((((((((Skittles))))))))))))))))))))))

I have been where you are. I have always worked as well. Since I was 14. With the exception of my brief 2 year marriage to my first husband that is, but other then that, I worked. In December 2004 I had a breakdown, took medical leave from work and fought for months with myself. On one hand I was trying to be the old me. The idependent me, the hardowrking me. The other hand I was fragile, vulnerable and scared. Like I said, it took months for me to get past my pride and admit that I needed help. Not just from my T, but from those arounbd me. I had to admit that I wasnt superwomen, I actually needed my family, my friends and others around me to help me get through what I call the most difficult time in my life.

Once I could accept that fact, face that I needed others, I was able to really change my outlook on things and open my mind up to another world and prespective I have never experieced.

People often dont understand depression. The think you can just "snap" right out of it. OH if it were only that easy. Just try to concentrate on yourself, your needs. Right now, its ok to depend on your BF and family. IT IS OK. We all need to lean sometimes.

Stay strong skittles.


Huggles,

Jen