worthless

Hey everyone Im back after a long hiatus. I guess this couldnt have come at a better time, i feel really bad lately.

Ive been put on 25 mg of paxil, and for the most part its great, but the past 2 days or so have been horrible, i realize that i feel ignored by a lot of people in my life, like no one has time for me, even though i have time for them, i call and i write, but no one returns the favors....the one time i confide in my mom for support on this problem, she just tells me that everyones busy and that im too sensitive. Thats what ive heard all my life, all my life everyones always told me im too emotional or too sensitive, and i dont know what to do. I dont know if its a bad thing. Why is crying such a bad thing? I deal with problems the way i am most comfortable and i get a reputation for being too sensitive, it really makes me angry. I feel like no one will confide in my anymore because of it, because i am so concerned about the other person that i get emotional, and other peoples moods effect me in the same way.

i just feel ignored and lonley, im alone, and i was just hoping to find some support here, because i could really use it. I feel worthless.

all things shall pass...even life.

Let me take a guess 'cause my mind, if it has it stored away somewhere, won't recall if you live with depression or not. I'm willing to guess you do. Don't believe it for a minute that you are worthless! It's just the depression lying to you.

Being sensitive can be a blessing as well as a curse. It's never easy to know where "blessing" ends and "curse" starts. Learning how to find your boundaries and your personal limits is good but learning to detach from other's feelings is even better. You can be empathetic instead of sympathetic. I know there's a post on that here on the board somewhere. Let me see if I can find it and I'll either re-post it or bring it back up to the top for you.

Oh... and crying isn't a bad thing! Who told you that?? Tears can mean many things and have many purposes. One of my favorites is the cleansing you get from crying.

Hang in there. You won't be ignored here.


"It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived."

well yea i do. At least one person here cares.

all things shall pass...even life.

hiya emo,
Sorry you are feeling down. I am glad you came back though. I am also a sensitive person. The world is built around non-sensitive people and the more sensitive you are, the more out of step you feel. That's how I think about it anyway. You are you and there is nothing wrong with you. It's like being left handed in a right handed world. HUGS if wanted.

Hey emo, I don't think being sensitive is a bad thing - people who aren't can be quite narcissistic (sp?) I am "too" sensitive too, according to some, but I try to just be me If everyone was the same, life would be so boring. I am glad you posted!

Hugs if ok,
Fuzzy

I found it! I found it! YAY for me! LOL Here it is:

"Beauty Is In The "I"

There is much talk today about boundaries, personal power and positive affirmations. Core to these aspects of personal awareness is the "I" statement. Whether in conversation with another or as part of the self-talk (our internal running commentary on what we are doing or what we perceive others as doing),** the "I" is critical to boundary clarification and personal empowerment. This article will address the role of the "I" in boundary clarification.

For a moment, close your eyes and imagine your boundary. It should encircle you and separate you from the "outside world." Everything inside of the boundary is YOU, everything outside is OTHER. Inside the boundary are all the aspects of Self that defines YOU as a unique individual. YOU are defined by your wants, needs, likes, dislikes, beliefs, loves and passions. The many aspects of Self are owned by the word "I" and when communicated, allows Others to know something about who you are. When you tell someone "I want..." "I need..." or "I feel..." you are sharing pieces of who you are with them. "I" statements are uniquely yours, and reflect values and aspects of the self that may or may not be shared by those around you.

Boundaries can be thought of as firm yet flexible. Your boundary moves with you and is selectively "permeable." You are in charge of what you allow into your boundary. If something comes at you that you agree with or fits your experience of yourself, you can choose to allow it in and incorporate it into your "I" messages and self-talk. If, however, something is not a part of you or is not true for you, you can choose to leave it outside of your boundary.

Many of us struggle with "You" statements or critical comments that may be thrown our way. Often, people share with me their deep hurt from what others say or think. They have not developed an internal mechanism for disarming these potentially toxic messages.

If you remember that your boundary is in your control, you can choose to let other's thoughts and opinions stay outside. Their negative statements are not automatically "Yours." If they are not brought in and owned bye the "I" they remain in the real of the "Other." You do not have to take them on. If someone pays you a compliment, you can choose to take it in, but it is still about the other. If I say I like something about you, I am telling you something about my preferences, values or opinions. If I tell you that I hate the same thing, I am still telling you something about me.

Remembering that other's opinions tell us something a bout them, not about us, is very important! When we are children, we learn much of who we are by what others tell us about ourselves. Hopefully, the messages have been positive. However, it is more commonly true that we hear critical and toxic messages that we internalize and make part of our own self-talk. As an adult, being aware of these critical messages, and making the choice to re-evaluate whether the messages are Yours, or belong in the realm of the Other, allows you to begin the process of changing your old self-talk into new empowering, nurturing messages. It is the first step toward defusing and disowning a message that has no place in your repertoire of self-talk.

"You" messages usually are inherently boundary violations. No one else can tell us what we think or fell, though often Others will try to do this very thing. You are the only one living in your body, and the only one who can report to an Other what you think of feel. Others can ask, they may assume, but they cannot KNOW until we tell them with our "I" statements.

It is important for us to take note of how we think and feel about the many choices we face daily. If we become captive to everyone else's ideas as to what we should or should not do, we lose our sense of who we are. The boundary blurs and we will not differentiate who we are from others around us.

So, remember to visualize your boundary. You have control over it. It belongs to you. What is inside is YOU, what is outside is OTHER. Everything inside composes the "I" and who you are. This is dynamic and growing as each day brings new awareness and insight. Living with the "I" keeps your boundary clear and the Self empowered."
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Sheila K. McHenry Worman, Psy D., MFCC



"It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived."