[KTY987]

Ive been depressed for a long time, my dad verbally abuses me.
He tells me to "shut up" and just is always talking down
To me like I'm a freaking 2 year old. It's always his way or no way.
My mom let's him get away with it, makes excuses for him.
He can't have a normal conversation without yelling telling to
Shut up. My other siblings can get away with stuff but me? No he
Just keeps his attitude in a grumpy mood. He even talks
To my mom like she's stupid, she takes it. I've wanted to
Kill myself so that I would be less of a pain in the *** to him.
That's why I'm always mean to him is because he is horrible to me.
I just wish my mom had the balls to tell him to quit and
Leave his ***. I can't take it anymore, HELP!

[CgRgSm]

Hey KTY987, I totally feel for you. I am so sorry for what is happening in your life right now. I have to tell you, not very long ago I was in your spot. My dad was very controlling and "his way or no way" as you say. I had the hardest time in my child through teen years, my dad would always verbally abuse my mother and had very uncontrollable anger problems. I understand how hard this is for you. I don't know how to word what I'm trying to say, I'm sorry I just want to help. Don't kill yourself. Don't let this bring out the worst in you, you should try to escape the situation if you have to. I bet you are a intelligent person, there has to be a way to solve this. Things will get better. If you ever feel the need to talk whats on your mind and get your feelings out, I'm here, you can leave me a message and I will listen.

[jaxter23]

Oh I completely understand this! My dad very verbally abusive to me and never even realizes how he makes me feel. He is constantly talking down to me and criticizing me even when he has no room to talk. Hes a total hypocrite and I hate it! He constantly yells at me about my "tone of voice" but he can raise his voice to my mom and then to me whenever I try to stand up for myself?! None of it makes sense. I may be a hypocrite in saying this, but don't let him get you down!!! I try not to, but I know its really hard sometimes. I've just learned that whenever he starts in on me, just take it and don't feed it! Don't argue back, or try not to as much as you can! I know that is really hard, but after a while I think he will tend to calm down because when he starts yelling or criticizing you he is probably looking for a rise out of you! That's what I have noticed. When things start to blow up, if I don't "fuel the fire" its over a lot faster and I am able to just walk away from the situation! Once you walk away though, I understand the feelings are still there and I usually try to blast music, draw, call a friend, or do anything to take my mind off it. Coming on here and just viewing a chat room or talking to anyone is a good tool too! You don't have to talk about what is happening (or you can if you want to) but it just gets your mind off things. Its really hard to change people like that. My T just started working with me on coping with the verbal abuse from my father so if you need someone to talk to please feel free to PM me or friend me and keep in touch! Things get better so really try not to let him get you down. I'm sure you have a lot of talents and you are a strong person, so don't let him make you think otherwise!

[dazeofdolphins]

Your father has a problem, likely rooted in his own childhood. He has a low self-esteem, control issues, communication problems and relational issues at the very least. Your mother also has a problem. She is co-dependent and afraid. She does not know how to keep the family safe. Her issues are likely rooted in childhood, too. It's not surprising that they are together, creating this toxic environment. It's time to seek help for yourself-find a therapist or a counselor and a free support group. Discuss privately but openly with your doc what is happening. You can survive this ugly time. Use your resources and make sure you don't stay silent. There is help available. Use this site for more posts if it helps. There are very caring people here who want to listen. We value what you say.

[BuggsBunny]

I, too, had to survive this abuse (from a step-father) as a preteen and teen. It was horrible. He never took it out on the other two sisters I had, but always on me. He wanted to get me into a fight so that he could go into a rage, and again it would be all my fault. (everything was all my fault.) When I learned not to respond in anything but a calm, toneless voice, the fights got better.

Your Dad is a bully, and he has chosen you as his target. Bullies make themselves feel more powerful by beating up on weaker or younger targets. If your Mom is taking this crap from him, then she too, is a weaker target, and might feel like she can't get out of the situation, either. (My Mom later told me she thought it better to live like this than put the family thru a second divorce.)

Definitely find someone safe to talk to about this. If you have a counselor at school, a teacher you can trust, any adult you feel safe with. They may be able to connect you with resources that will help you cope with this.

[dillpickle1983]

Oh, I can totally relate. Sounds like me and my father. Now that I'm in my late twenties he still talks down to me, doesnt believe in Mental Illness nor does he believer I am depressed; thinks all I want is attention. Growing up I took multitudes of verbal and emotional abuse from my siblings (goes well beyond sibling rivalry) and my father. My mother was always there for me. But screaming shut up was a common occurence for me when growing up, Shut up is the cleanest thing, there were many other names.