[Blondie50]

I turned 50 @8 months ago. My husband of 16 years is 40 which wasn't a problem until a couple of years ago. I have had a LOT of difficulty keeping my ego and self-esteem in check for about the last 2 years. This weekend was a killer. I had a few negative things happen back-to-back over only about 2-3 days when finally it hit like a ton of bricks this past Saturday. I haven't been able to accomplish a single thing since. I'm hardly sleeping and barely eating. I can't move!! I'm trying to understand why I've allowed myself to get like this and how I can get out of it without having to be medicated. I haven't been on anti-depressants in @8 years. I don't want to go back because they make me gain weight and self-image is one of the biggest problems I have right now. Has anyone else experienced aging related depression or have any idea what this is? BTW, before the answer of hormones is brought up, I'm on HRT and it works very well for me so I do not believe hormone imbalance is the problem here ...

[Ellensue]

Hello, Blondie50

I am 56, and I think my age is making all the problems in my life seem that much worse: how am I this old and still experiencing all of the same crap I've experienced all my life?

I've had to return to high doses of 2 meds; everyone tells me that when the drugs kick in, I'll feel much better. So, don't reject the idea of meds. Perhaps a good MD or psychiatrist can get at the root of why you gain weight on antidepressants and help you control your weight while taking them (I have never experienced weight gain on antidepressants).

Exercise, particularly if you can get outside, can also be tremendously helpful.

You haven't said how your marriage is -- does your current state have anything to do with Valentines Day? I think this holiday--most holidays--are hard for a lot of people.

I've been reading some Buddhist philosophy lately, which says that being sad is a part of life. I know---doesn't sound helpful when you feel like hell and can't see the end of it.

Take care.

[Callmebj]

Gosh Blondie I hate to hear that this has become a problem for you..when you consider the alternative...it's a blessing. I've been there and wish I still looked that good; I too am very conscious of body image and grooming. God has blessed me with a younger appearance than most people my age. I have to say when hitting 50; my thoughts were that "I had arrived!" At 50 you are a legitimate adult of wisdom and worth, and I did not mind it at all. I just had a different take on it. I am still vain though and the wrinkles are there...but the whole picture is still pretty darn good. (she says without feeling narcissistic. LOL) Happier thoughts to you, hugs, bj

[Blondie50]

Thanks for the encouraging words Callmebj

[Suki22]

not all anti-depressants cause weight gain (some actually help you lose). perhaps a therapist could help with your self-image? if you're in pain--is it better to look good or to feel good? wishing you the best for this difficult time!

[ahiru]

I wish I were 50. on the inside I'm probably older... dunno if it's any sort of comfort, but I'm 27 and my girlfriend is 55.
and the antidepressants gave me around 22lb that I just can't get rid of. (taking for 10 years now)