feeling invisible

My family is expecting me to do things I am not yet physically capable of. One sister actually told me that I brought this current depressive episode on myself because I won't do what she wants me to do.

My friends have disappeared. I get the stray phone call here and there, but for the most part, nobody calls, or emails, or seems to remember I'm alive -- and that I almost wasn't.

I'm beginning to feel like I don't exist! If nobody acknowledges me, am I really there?



Candy

(((((Hugs Candy Bear))))

I too sometimes ask myself that same question... Its always hard when those around you don't really understand, and when friends start drifting away. Just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone, and I know what its like to feel invisible too.
I read your post and so you do exist to me...

Ally

((((((((((((((candy))))))))))))))))
you matter!!!!!

Candy, you aren't alone. i think we all feel that way one time or another. i'm sorry you're in that situation right now. i hope things look up for you soon. xoxoxo pat

{{{{{ Candy }}}}}

You are most definetly here. We all see you and appreciate you.

I don't know your friends or family but it sounds like you are a much braver warrior than they will ever be. Their retreat and expectations say more about them than you.

I found that after I was dx'ed, people just didn't know what to say. It's still that way. They might ask "how are you feeling?" and when I start to tell them, the subject gets changed. They squirm. Some look away. It's too uncomfortable for them so I've just stopped talking about it.

Because you look okay on the outside, it's hard for people to think anything is wrong. They think if you would just get up, just get out and just get with it--all will be fine.

They are wrong not you. They have not walked in your mocassins.

Petunia

After the drama of the serious illness people draw back and want everything to be okay and get overwhelmed. It is so common I bet there are articles on it. You are doing great my friend. People get scared of being around sick too long.

I think it becomes the most frustrating when ppl who "SHOULD" understand, don't. Their education can't always be our responsibility. Family, especially, think they know all about us...why, they saw us grow up didn't they? Hogwash. They are fumbling because they are so ignorant. If you wish, you can slowly repeat the same responses, hoping they will eventually "get it." But by being consistent in your responses you will reassure yourself of the truth. If no one else IRL will say it, then at least you can. ((hugs))

candybear,

I feel like that a lot too.

We understand here at PC.

Sending you a hug>>>>>>>>>>>>

((((((((((( candybear )))))))))))))))

Hey, Candybear...

So that was YOU I couldn't see the other day?

I know how you feel...nobody calls me either, not even my mom....well, my nine year old calls sometimes, 'cause I gave her one of my cellphones!

I've started MAKING myself go out...I really don't have a choice, unless I want to sit in my dingy motel room (ugh). I go to the library a lot, or the mall, or wherever, and just walk around and smile at people. I even went to church tonight!

This all seems kinds of strange, but it's the only thing I found to do...I find that the physical act of throwing my shoulders back, holding my head up and walking like I really have somewhere to go makes me feel better.

Still, I can't STAND being alone!

Hugs,
DJ

(((((((((((((((((candy))))))))))))

We know you're here! You can talk to us. We love you just because you're you I hope you get better and better each day and give yourself patients to get better

I hear you. I've been off work for about 5 weeks and it's as if I dropped off the face of the earth. I finally got a card from two co-workers the other day but mostly, people just stay away. I think they feel like they have to "fix" my problem and don't know how so they just avoid me.

It's not like we have broken legs or just had surgery - it's nothing they can actually "see" so it's like it doesn't exist. I'm sure that's how most people feel. It's frustrating and lonely. Hang in there. We hear each other and acknowledge each other here. That's why I'm here!

{{{{{{{Candy}}}}}}}}} You most certainly do exist and are an important part of life. I'm sorry that your family doesn't understand that it takes time to get well and that you need their support.

Hang in there, my friend.

Mary Alice

Candy,

I meant to ask this before.

Does anyone realize the potential lifelong concerns your blood disorder might cause even though you are out of immediate danger?

It was only when I passed out pamphlets and they saw the words, did they truly began to understand.

I ordered mine here http://www.leukemia-lymphoma.org/all...p?item_id=4187

Remember, I'm a PM away if ya need a shoulder.

Petunia

It makes me so angry when people do what your sister did! You are a very important person to all of us here!

I often feel invisible to many people, thinking no one could care less about me. I don't have many friends and rarely do I get a phone call from anyone. I can really relate.

You are important to us! Hang in there.

I often feel invisible and unnoticed when my husband and child are in the same room!

You are not alone. Sending you kind thoughts.

((Candy))

Oh, Sweetie!!

I just saw this post...I'm heading out to church, but will write more when I return.

And you DEFINITELY are seen and loved by us here.

**HUGS**

I think sometimes people stay away because of their own discomfort. If only they could see how painful their attitude towards you can be.
You do exist, though.