[ConfusedOne]

This depression is just so debilitating. It consumes my every waking hours and sleeping ones as well. I’m trying so hard to get my life back with nothing concrete to show for my time put in. A broken limb can be mended but a broken mind just goes on forever. The more I try to deal with this child abuse stuff the worse I feel. That little person lived through holy hell in more ways than one. Now as I try to put the pieces back together I’m finding it a very hard task.
I woke up feeling so sad today but I don’t know why. I used my CPAP and only woke up twice last night so I got some sleep. My therapist says I need to cry but I can’t. She says I need to scream but I can’t. There is just nothing in me. Nobody is home here. I don’t know how I feel most of the time. I just exist. I keep trying to cope but I am just too tired of the whole mess. It seems like I have been fighting this crap forever.

i'm so so sorry. i understand what you're feeling. i wish i knew the answer to it. sometimes i feel as if i'm an alien and definitely on the wrong planet. but it isn't time to give up. don't ever give up. they may come out with better meds......exercise helps. walk around your block twice today. love , pat

[Rhapsody]

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

I used to feel exactly as you are feeling now (for the last 10 years) - but now I am in the middle of feeling HOPE again.... for as a broken bone needs the right treatment & medical support to heal so does a BROKEN MIND.... maybe you just have not found the right combination of treatment for your mind?

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

P.S.
Some good reading material... a book called:
Feelings Buried Alive Never Die, by: Karol Truman.

Never time to quit fighting...lean on us here and try to keep your faith in life!
Life is often like a true illusion...

[(JD)]

Depression is a medical disorder, and not easy to counter. But it is possible. I think you need permission to not require that your life "show" anything from time to time.

I'm glad you have support through this.

IMO if you are still waking during the night with a CPAP, it needs to be adjusted.

TC

[Twisted_Soul]

Too many bad thoughts in my head to answer the initial question of "is it time to quit fighting?"
However, I use a cpap machine and I am wondering if everything is connected okay?
I had a hole in my tubing and just got the replacement and I am sleeping so much better now.
Just a thought on the cpap machine.

[heartspace]

Aww confused, I'm so sorry for what you're feeling. But don't give up. Hang in there. Safe hugs if ok ... {{{confusedone}}}