[Hamartia]

I am really tired of trying to feel fine. That seems like all I do these days, smile and pretend everything is okay. At night I tend to think about just ending it all. If I wasn't alive I wouldn't have to feel this way anymore. The life I am living right now isn't really a life. I have double depression, PTSD, general anxiety disorder, and self mutilation tendencies. I miss work because sometimes I just can't be bothered to leave my apartment and the guilt and fear of losing my job because I've missed work just makes everything worse. I just don't want to exist anymore. It is exhausting feeling this way, and I'm tired of feeling sick and tired.

[Open Eyes]

((((Hamartia)))),

Oh this is what is called PTSD and these feelings you are having is what people experience when struggling with PTSD. Are you seeing a therapist? You have to work through PTSD you can't pretend it away. I see you have been diagnosed with PTSD so that is why I am telling you that what you are expressing here is part of the way people with PTSD feel.

We do have a forum for PTSD where you can post and connect with others that struggle too and are working through it.

Welcome to PC, you can work through this and do much better sweetheart, but you have to do it in therapy. And we have a nice group of supporters here too.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes

[Hamartia]

Thank you for your response. I see a therapist twice a month. I really like her and she has been trying to help. I just am not sure there is anything to really be done. We have been currently just been working on coping skills. While those do help in making better decisions when Im triggered it still doesn't help stop the triggers or stop them from effecting my moods. I guess that is the part that is the most frustrating part in dealing with the ptsd is there is no way to control when you may get triggered.

[lancetrot]

Hi Hamartia,
Drink milk and walk 20 minutes daily even in 2 / 10 minute blocks. Staying away from caffeine, cola, sports drinks, wil also help you to reduce ptsd to some extent. When you get triggered sip water slowly, it helps you in bringing your mind to the present.

Best Wishes.

[Hamartia]

Thanks, I will try drinking milk. I try to exercise and limit my caffine intake already as my therapist had recommended that as well but I haven't tried milk yet.