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#1
Mar 27, 2006, 07:41 PM
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I've been with my Partner for five years now. I know she loves me very much, as I do her. She was the one that helped me recognize my symptoms of depression and the acting out associated with PTSD. Even after finding a good therapist and getting on meds, I still hurt her with my words and actions. I'm learning little by little how to manage, but fear that she may be so hurt by me that she won't be able to get past it.
See, even though things are getting better, I still have my moods and opinions and whatnot. I believe that she may be misenterpreting my expressing myself, as part of the PTSD. I'm only guessing, though. I know that she's gone through her own things, and doesn't talk about that a lot with me. I notice that she's quiet more often than not, and a lot of times she seems sad. This hurts me, because I want to fix it, and I want us to be happy. I understand that when a person is depressed, only they can turn that around, with support. My problem is, I don't know if how she feels has something to do with me, or something else. This is hard for me to deal with sometimes, because I tend to blame myself for everything anyway. I don't want to lose her because I can't make everything better. I know I should've probably posted this in another forum, but it's such a mixture of everything, that I thought I'd put it here. This may be an ongoing thing..just to warn everybody.  
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#2
Mar 27, 2006, 07:53 PM
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your post is fine here.....have you talked to your partner about couples counseling? or individual therapy for the two of you? any books that she can read to better understand what's going on with you. and do you tell her how much you love her? reassurance to a SO is important and also the SO can be really scared when they don't understand fully what is going on. good luck, pat
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#3
Mar 27, 2006, 07:59 PM
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Hi, Fayerody,
I do tell her often how I feel about her, and I have mentioned the counseling and therapy to her, but she's not open to it. However, she does support me, and has come with me to my sessions occasionally. I guess I can't force her to go herself..she has to want to. Bleh.
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#4
Mar 27, 2006, 09:04 PM
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sounds as if you're on the right track....hang in there and keep me posted, okay? xoxoxo pat
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#5
Mar 27, 2006, 09:26 PM
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Magickal have you tried raising the subject when both of you seem ok? I have found with my husband that if we talk about things when we're not in the midst of a disagreement it tends to be more productive.
I know all too well how draining depression can be on our loved ones.  You love each other so it's worth working at. Hang in there. |
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#6
Mar 28, 2006, 01:11 PM
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A light at the end of the tunnel, I think??
I have done what was suggested here, and have talked to my partner about what I've been feeling. I let her know that I understood how scary and uncertain things can get when dealing with my episodes, but that it didn't change how I felt about her, and it never will. I encouraged her to talk to me at any time about how she was feeling, and that she could trust me with that. I'm very hopeful. I know that what I'm going through is not an easy fix, but gradually, I hope to help my partner understand that these troubles don't have to get in the way of our feelings for each other. Thank you for being here...
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#7
Mar 28, 2006, 08:01 PM
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Communication is very important to every relationship. I think you've made a wonderful first step in opening up to her and letting her know how you were feeling. Just give it time and hopefully it will happen for both of you.
I was with a woman who was very private. No matter how many times I told her she could come to me for support, she never did. It just broke my heart that she would rather go to a man instead of her own gf. So even if she doesn't come to you, reassure her that your door is always open. Best of luck to you both!
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"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." -Bernard Bailey |
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#8
Mar 29, 2006, 09:15 PM
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That's great Magickal. I know how hard it can be to take that first step in addressing things directly. How are things going now?
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#9
Mar 29, 2006, 09:15 PM
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That's great Magickal. I know how hard it can be to take that first step in addressing things directly. How are things going now?
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#10
Mar 29, 2006, 11:01 PM
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(((((((((((Magickal)))))))))))))
Thinking of you! |
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#11
Mar 29, 2006, 11:01 PM
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(((((((((((Magickal)))))))))))))
Thinking of you! |
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#12
Mar 29, 2006, 11:04 PM
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((((((((((((((((((magickal)))))))))))))))))))))
Good thoughts, Fuzzy
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#13
Mar 29, 2006, 11:04 PM
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((((((((((((((((((magickal)))))))))))))))))))))
Good thoughts, Fuzzy
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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