Its very hard

we are all having a difficult time at the moment with therapy. We are back to compulsive phoning and i cant atke it any more. I need a bit of help from the other people indie me but they are all looking the other way and just not helping. My god I look after them, i try to put them to bed and tuck them in, i get their dollies together for them, i get them new colouring pens but when its me..... they all look the other was.

i FEEL LIKE THEY ABANDON ME AND THATS ok BUT i ALWAYS HAVE TO HELP THEM.
When will it be my turn to get some help.

Audrey

((((((((((((((audrey))))))))))))
have to talked to T about this?? it's really difficult when no one seems to be cooperating with you. can you talk to your insiders? i know that deedee is sometimes very needy and i don't know what to do for her.

we have a rule for us that i am the only one who phones T unless it is such that i am out of commission and then only Vicki is allowed to make a call. and that is only for emergencies. our T has an answering service that relays calls after hours and she calls back. it is sometimes really hard not to call between appts. both deedees and Vicki have a book that they can draw, write, paint or whatever in. Vicki often writes to T in hers, the deedees draw. we may do a special project like color a picture or something to give to T the next visit. we have also expressed to T that we need to see her more often. we are upping sessions to 3x/week for a while, then go back to 2 or expanded sessions, if insurance allows.

try to work things out between your insiders and T to meet needs and still maintain some boundries. it is really difficult, i know, but the more you can work this out with your insiders, the healthier they will become.

i'm here if you guys need to talk. you can pm anytime.
w_i

thanks w i. Youve given me some stuff to think aboit. I feel at the end of the road and like Ive had enough. Im really ashamed of all the calls but I know that when I go to therapy they will all expect me to do the explaining. I just want to lie down and give up. Why am I such an idiot. Why cant I control myself. Why do I act like such a fool. Im feeling overwhelmed and alone.

Im feeling lonely and need some care. Tonight is the agreed night to call my therapist and Im humiliated becasue we have been compulsivly calling and hanging up all week. I wish I wasnt around sometimes.
Im feeling sorry for myself. Im just so out of control right now.



Audrey

((((((((audrey)))))))) man, i sure do know those feelings!!! stop and take a couple of breaths. breath in thru the nose (tongue on the roof of the mouth) hold a few seconds and let it out thru the mouth (tongue on the floor of the mouth) do this about 5 times. ok.
i know the feeling of out of control, and the obsessiveness. and humiliation. it s**ks. i wish i could disapear sometimes. Ts are trained to deal with this stuff. perhaps you need to talk to her about a new plan. perhaps your insiders are taking up more time than they should leaving you little time to have your needs met. i have begun to recognize that with Vicki and deedee taking so much time. i have to make it a point to say that i need attention too. i have a real cool button that someone gave me years ago. it has this crazed looking line drawing person's head with I NEED ATTENTION written in a frazzled type of writing on it. i've been thinking that i should wear it to T when i need time.
hang in there hon, i don't know where this road leads, but i hear it's worth the hike.

w_i

((((Audrey))))

((((all the girls))))

I can't offer any advice, I'm afraid. I have no concept of how to get my insiders to talk to teach other. Right now they are refusing, but even if they accepted I don't know how they would go about communicating,
Caroline

w i, thanks.
Things are gettinmg on top on me lately. Having another 4 people to deal with is hard sometimes. Makes me tired and I get agitated.

Your post is much appreciated.


Audrey

Caroline ,

Thank you. Its hard for us all I suppose. At least my other parts talk to each other. Like you I can remember when they would not communicate in any way with each other.W I is right. Its a long road but worth it.

((((((((((((((((((((((CAROLINE)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
((((((((((((((((SHULA)))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((ELSIE))))))))))))))

How did you get them to communicate?
C

i'm sorry you're having such a rough time audrey. you know that you are free to PM me too whenever you feel like it... i mean, i know i extended the invitation to the rest of the girls, but i don't know if i ever gave you the invite. well here it is. i will be happy to talk with you when you need some 'you' time. i hope you are doing better. and i agree with w_i i would definitely talk to your T about it. after all, that is what your T is there for.

(((((((((((audrey))))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((all the girls))))))))))))

-shadow