[Kaitlyn]

I just found out that my hermana (sister) was hit by a car while riding her bike. She's okay....no major trauma but she won't be able to be supportive for a while. And she's the one person who can pull me out of a melt down really fast while doing it safely. The worst part is that she drops this bombshell on me and then tells me she won't be online much and for me not to text her because the text messages wake her up. Meanwhile I'm dealing with an increase in anxiety attacks because I have to have an MRI next week. And I don't have my hermana to help me deal with the increase in anxiety and the support system I do have doesn't work that well (I found that out when I had an increase in melt downs back in February while she was in Hawaii and was away from her email for that entire month). It doesn't help that she lives in California while I live in Maine. I can't even think straight right now.

[Rohag]

Kaitlyn, I'm sorry your hermana was injured. May she heal fully and quickly! In the meantime, "text" us here. We cannot be a true substitute for her, but we'll listen.

[Kaitlyn]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Kaitlyn, I'm sorry your hermana was injured. May she heal fully and quickly! In the meantime, "text" us here. We cannot be a true substitute for her, but we'll listen.

She sent me a second email 2 hours ago after she read my reply and realized I wasn't comprehending what she had said so she said things in simple terms to make sure I understood what she said. She made sure that I knew she wasn't going to be injured forever and that she'd go back to being my hermana again once she healed. Right now her body hurts and doing anything including typing triggers the pain.

One of my FB friends is trying to be a substitute and she thinks she understands me but no one really does. My hermana and I are super in sync that she knows the kind of support I need without me telling her what I need from her. And it's the emotional support I can't get from anyone but her. The support I get from my hermana is this loving, comforting, soothing feeling and she can get me calmed down instantly when I'm having a melt down or anxiety issues.

[gma45]

Maybe it is time to give your sister some support as it sounds like she could use some right now. She will be there for you when she can you need to do the same. I wish you well. Try to hang in there the best you can.

[Kaitlyn]

Originally Posted by gma45

Maybe it is time to give your sister some support as it sounds like she could use some right now. She will be there for you when she can you need to do the same. I wish you well. Try to hang in there the best you can.

In terms of that....she told me she has plenty of support there so she doesn't need me to send written words or energy. She knows I care. And she knows that I'm going through a lot right with an up coming MRI that's causing me to have an increase in anxiety, so she'd rather I spend my energy (or what energy I do have) taking care of me instead of sending her that energy. Other wise she would have allowed me to be supportive of her. She'd rather I spend my energy getting me better than spending it on her and then having me end up worse. It's not that I'm not being supportive of her...it's just she doesn't want me to be.

[Leed]

Hi Kaitlyn ~ Sweetie, I've had PLENTY of MRI's so if you have any questions or concerns, just ask away. LOL I'll be happy to answer any of them. They're really no big deal. The only thing that bothers me about them is the noise. They're really noisy. Also, if you're claustrophobic, you might ask if you can have a Valium or something before the MRI unless it's going to be an OPEN MRI, cause otherwise they'll put you in a "tube."

What part of the body are you having scanned? It might make a difference cause maybe they won't have to put "all" of you in the "tube." LOL

Anyway, like I said --- ask any questions you want if you have any concerns. Take care hon. I know this can be scary if you haven't had one before. Take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee

[Kaitlyn]

Originally Posted by Leed

Hi Kaitlyn ~ Sweetie, I've had PLENTY of MRI's so if you have any questions or concerns, just ask away. LOL I'll be happy to answer any of them. They're really no big deal. The only thing that bothers me about them is the noise. They're really noisy. Also, if you're claustrophobic, you might ask if you can have a Valium or something before the MRI unless it's going to be an OPEN MRI, cause otherwise they'll put you in a "tube."

What part of the body are you having scanned? It might make a difference cause maybe they won't have to put "all" of you in the "tube." LOL

Anyway, like I said --- ask any questions you want if you have any concerns. Take care hon. I know this can be scary if you haven't had one before. Take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee

It's at least my lower back....my doctor wasn't sure if she wanted to have my entire spine done or just my lower back. We know for sure from my T12 vertebrae (roughly middle of my back) down is ALL Degenerative Disc Disease....but I'm also experiencing pain when I stretch to the right on the upper left side of my spine. So we don't know if I have Degenerative Disc Disease in my entire spine or not. So I won't know how much of my spine is being scanned until I get to the MRI place on Wednesday.

Hermana update: She's home....really banged up and it's very painful. My cousin (her husband) told me that when I asked him if she was in the hospital. So I'm slowly back to my normal self...At least I'm back to eating but still don't want to talk to or be around other people still.

[Leed]

I'm so glad your sister is home -- and that she's going to be ok. I'm sure she's hurting, but she'll heal in time. That's something to be very thankful about! She was very lucky!

Degenerative disc disease is "drying out" of the discs -- that happens to everyone as we age. Some of us get it earlier than others. When the discs dry out, then tend to flatten and that makes them bulge/herniate and then they press on nerves and that hurts!!! Also you could have some facet problems -- the facets are the "wing-like' things that jut out from your back -- you can see them if you hunch your back. They run all the way down the spine -- they're on both sides of the spinal cord. Sometimes the joints between the facets get arthritic and that causes pain.

Just thought I'd give you a little info. Let us know what you find out, ok? Hugs, Lee

[Kaitlyn]

Originally Posted by Leed

I'm so glad your sister is home -- and that she's going to be ok. I'm sure she's hurting, but she'll heal in time. That's something to be very thankful about! She was very lucky!

Degenerative disc disease is "drying out" of the discs -- that happens to everyone as we age. Some of us get it earlier than others. When the discs dry out, then tend to flatten and that makes them bulge/herniate and then they press on nerves and that hurts!!! Also you could have some facet problems -- the facets are the "wing-like' things that jut out from your back -- you can see them if you hunch your back. They run all the way down the spine -- they're on both sides of the spinal cord. Sometimes the joints between the facets get arthritic and that causes pain.

Just thought I'd give you a little info. Let us know what you find out, ok? Hugs, Lee

Yeah I knew what Degenerative Disc Disease is because I have an uncle who teaches high school anatomy and physiology so I asked him what it was. I'm doing a little bit better but still don't feel like talking to people a whole lot and don't feeling like doing much beyond sleeping. I did manage to eat supper last night but don't feel like eating lunch today. But I'm not too worried about the lack of appetite part because I've gone 48 hours without eating or drinking any thing before when I shut down emotionally. My counselor isn't too worried about me not eating but she is worried that I'm not drinking enough fluids. But she knows that once I hear from my hermana I'll go back to normal again. Most people don't understand that my hermana is a HUGE part of my every day routine, or the dynamics of the friendship I have with her. She isn't just someone I go to if I need to talk.....we'd email each other almost every day (sometimes multiple times a day) about whatever story I was working or about the courses I was taking. She'd get me to work on a story when I didn't feel like writing or doing anything at all. She's the only person who can pull me out of a melt down really quickly without causing more harm. I could text her when I needed her if I couldn't get a hold of her via email. ALL of that has been uprooted because of the accident.

[Kaitlyn]

I decided to just email my hermana updates on the story I'm working on....and i told her that she doesn't have to reply to emails and that going without emailing her and not being able to text her was too much of a change for me. I know she'll understand. She knows I need something to stay the same when something changes.

Meanwhile I got into an unnecessary conversation with a friend on FB about my friendship with my hermana......even AFTER I explained the friendship to her she said "so she helps you with emotional support" (that was after I told her that my hermana is also my creative writing tutor and writing buddy!) and then today after I told her I was feeling better and why, she gave me a lecture about how I need to stand on my own two feet (which I've been doing since Wednesday and it only made me worse!) and about how her family pushed her away and how being alone helps her. THEN after I said that my hermana did NOT push me away and all that stuff she said that she had said her family pushed her away and that there was a difference. THEN she says to me "are you two attracted to each other physically" I had told her before that my hermana is my best friend, and cousin and that she married a cousin of mine almost 2 years ago......yet she some how twisted the friendship I have with my hermana into something sexual in nature. I still don't get how what I told her about the friendship and how my hermana supports me and is there for me when she's able to be equals a friendship where the two people are physically attracted to each other. My hermana is married to my cousin for crying out loud.