Numb and defeated

Hi all,
I have been in a really bad place of late and I can't seem to get myself out of it. I work full time and and going to night school to obtain a second degree. I am doing well in school but hate my job and am really tired most of the time. I hate my life and I hate myself. I think, especially at night, about suicide or about cutting. I have been working hard with my therapist at using better coping skills other than cutting when I feel this way. When I relapse and do cut I feel guilty and ashamed. The bottom line is I just don't want to live anymore. I think, no one would even notice if I was gone, nor care. I bring nothing to this world but the sadness I carry around with me. My friendships are for the most part surface deep because I can't trust anyone and don't let anyone in. I just don't see a world in which i am happy. So, really, what's the point....

• "work full time"
• "going to night school"
• "hate my job"
• depression, PTSD & your history

That's A LOT. The first three by themselves push "normal" folks to the limit.
One of Many Possible Perspectives: You might only see "the point" at a time when you are not at all concerned about seeing "the point."

Please be safe, Hamartia.

I work nights while going to college full time. Sleep deprivation sparks a lot of issues--at least for me. In yoga, we make resolves and promises to ourselves. My last one was to fit two half-hour long naps into my week. I think it is helping me some. Maybe it will help you too.