[Breana]

Even though good things are happening and im relativly happy, i still feel empty. Walking through the motions. Pleasing people and trying to better myself when i feel like indefinetly i will fail in the end. Does anyone else feel this way. It is a stupid selfish feeling that only makes me seem to be overbearing and disapointing to my family and others bcs they done know how to "fix me" Well let me know what you think..

[artist79]

I have been where you are before. I'm not sure where the empty feeling comes from. I'm sure it's different for everyone. Are you in counseling? That might help you work through this emptiness so you can feel more fulfilled. I personally find religion fills the void. I love church, and having a personal relationships with Jesus, which makes the emptiness for me go away.

Originally Posted by Breana

Even though good things are happening and im relativly happy, i still feel empty. Walking through the motions. Pleasing people and trying to better myself when i feel like indefinetly i will fail in the end. Does anyone else feel this way. It is a stupid selfish feeling that only makes me seem to be overbearing and disapointing to my family and others bcs they done know how to "fix me" Well let me know what you think..

I was just speaking with my T about this. I can relate

I have been working really hard on a few things:

- Being easy on myself and asking myself over and over "what would I tell my best friend?" usually the answer is MUCH nicer and more compassionate compared to what I tell myself.

- NOT people-pleasing and putting others' needs ahead of my own. And staying out of professions that require those things.

It's exhausting and a never-ending road of self-defeat because I never learned how to really take care of myself properly (meaning, feeling good about myself without having all of the material things)

- Asserting myself. Which at first, it was horrible and difficult, and I felt miserable after (embarrassed, guilty, ridiculous, etc).

But the more I assert myself, the better I am getting at it (at first, I have to admit, it was uncomfortable and I felt like a complete idiot! Also, my delivery could have been MUCH better!) Meh.

I am a work in progress

- Picking my battles. I find the more I work on the above, the less I am triggered by behaviors, things, people's attitudes / manipulations / abuse.

There is a long road ahead for me, but the more I focus on myself and REALLY healing (even though some days I feel as if I am just "showing up", which is actually all I can do), the less "alone" I feel because I feel more safe and therefore able to extend myself more to the outside world.

I hope this helps a bit

Anyone else?

[Leed]

I am and always have been a "people pleaser." I have worked on this for years, but it's so ingrained in me, that I'm not sure I'll ever stop doing it.

I have no idea how to take care of myself first. Most of the time I feel empty, much like you describe. I've tried to change things, but nothing seems to work. And at this stage of the game (I'm 63yrs old and a widow) I don't see things changing soon.

I've been in and out of therapy most of my adult life, and we've worked on this ALOT.

If you're NOT in therapy, please try to find a good therapist and start. If you're in therapy, address this and continue therapy. You won't regret it! It may take some time, but it's well worth it. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[Breana]

Thankyou guys for your support i will take all of your advice into considerationa nd poneder it. I have a T and she helps me but i feel therapy only goes so far and i only have a few sessions lect and im scarred to be without her and my school C. Idk i seem to make the same mistakes although i am trying to get better. I cried for the first time in months yesterday and it made me feel out of control but have that being said, i feel better and that i let some it out. Even if it was at the expense of being screamed at by my parents.. i couldent talk isat there and cried.