Discovery

I discover myself thinking most of my free time or when I am in a new situation with new people or in a happy moment that I am depressed. It is as if I am looking out for security every time in depression, something I know and I am afraid of going out of it. My present life is comfortable, I have a partner, no children, too afraid to have them, and from an objective point of view, there is no present reasonto be depressed.
I am too confused inside me with my inner feelings, why do I suffer too much anguish when I am in new or happy situations? Why can I stop feeling depressed? Have anyone been in this situation? Please write to me if you know what I am talking about.

I definitely know what you are talking about. I have been trying to just notice my emotions and experience them, whatever they are. I have noticed at times, I am resistant to truly allowing myself to feel happy, partially due to many of the reasons you described. On the flip side though, sometimes depression can occur even when things seem to be going well due to other factors. I'm not sure if that was any help, but I definitely have felt they way you described. take care.

Sometimes I know that a therapist would tell me that I'm placing too much expectation on myself to feel a certain way in a certain situation when I think thoughts like that. I would essentially be setting myself up for grief because I'm not feeling what I 'ideally' or 'should' feel.

But really! I hate depression clouding my experience during what would otherwise be fun, exciting moments, like hanging out with a lot of friends or going to an amusement park.

Luckily, as time goes by, I tend to remember these experiences for what I did and not what I felt.

Hi, thank you for your reply. You know that helps a lot!. If somebody says they have gone through the same, it makes one feel less different.
Thanks, have a good weekend.

You are so right!!! I will try to do what you do, in that way I will trouble less myself and enjoy things more, Thanks very much.