[Fuzzybear]

Maybe someone could enlighten me While I agree with some of the points that have been made lately, I feel that they could have been made with more respect. I know from personal experience how hard it is to show someone respect who has taken a swipe at me, disrespected/invalidated me etc.... but I still try. Maybe I am "too nice"

I fully agree with you, Fuzzy! I've been thinking the same thing.

[wi_fighter]

I thought after three posts to the referred-to thread, that I made myself pretty clear.

I gave my reasoning for giving a "cold shoulder" when the question was posed.

Could I have given my opinion with more "respect?" No, I could not have. It wouldn't have been a truthful, blunt answer, which is what was asked for. Again, if someone doesn't want to hear ALL possible answers, they shouldn't ask the question.

I'm not going to validate myself any further.

[Fuzzybear]

thanks..... just in case any clarification is needed I was meaning the posts in Twisted Soul's recent (long) thread in Depression.

Although I do think my points are worth thinking about here on the site in general, for me as well (as stated elsewhere I have made my share of mistakes/less than "perfect" wording etc)

Maybe it's all about being impeccable with our word, and trying to treat others as we would wish to be treated. Now I feel I am being preachy and will shut up

[Fuzzybear]

ok.

Fuzzy, you soft pillow- hugs from the other soft pillow.

I don't think about that thread only, but to a few others too.
Maybe I'm too soft! But that's me...

I'm not taking sides...

[Fuzzybear]

lol... the reason I posted my "clarification" was cuz I have been caught before by not being clear enough. I even PMd a mod to check and the mod thought that no one would think it was about THEM if I started a new thread.

I however disagreed

No ill will intended.

Just stating MY opinions... which I am also learning to do!!

[pegasus]

JUST MY OPINION!

Why can't we all just support each other.

ALL of us at Psych Central have been through some kind of personal Hell.

Please, let us HELP each other.

And by the way (((( Fuzzybear )))))) You are a lovely person and that shines through all of your posts.

pegasus

[Fuzzybear]

"if someone doesn't want to hear ALL possible answers, they shouldn't ask the question"

I agree with that.... in this environment. I personally have felt very frustrated at times by the lack of conflict resolution on this board. And stating opinions honestly CAN be a start to that (sometimes)

I started this thread because of my issues/feelings, and not to take sides!

I totally respect that you are probably "done" with this thread. I however, have had more to say

[Fuzzybear]

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

I agree with you Fuzzy.. 100%

[dottie]

May I add my thoughts? First off, I am glad there are others who feel as I do. (I have posted in that thread, saying I wish everyone could get along and work things out.) I was met with responses from other posters explaining their views, and now that I know the story better I have to say that I am not on anyone's "side", I just have a better understanding of the frustration everyone has been feeling. I like to "keep the peace" and it doesn't mean that I am "too nice", it just means that I like people to treat others well and with respect. However, like I said before, I am not taking sides either. My only wish is that everyone is able to express how they feel without judgement or a full blown argument taking place. I was seriously thinking I'd be better off leaving this site because I wish I had never made any posts in that forum, and I never expected to see members of PC fighting. The funny thing I noticed is that all of the posters were women, which confirms my belief about the majority of women being catty and disrespectful towards each other(Not ALL women of course,I have never been that way, personally) but I have rarely seen a group of women where this type of behavior didn't exist, which is why I prefer hanging out with guys. (I am female). So that said, I hope everyone can work out their differences and continue to support eachother in a gentle manner.

Sujin

i am old enough to know othat very little gets done, inwardly, if all i ever hear is platitudes and get hugs. i know that a lot of you don't agree with that and i don't care. if someone wants a blunt answer and they get it and then it becomes a bad thing, what happened there? they didn't really want the answer that they asked for. i've stood by and watched so little growth here at times that i've thought of leaving for that very reason. i can only be wishy washy for so long and it starts really wearing on my nerves.

i know that my life experiences have been broad and sometimes not exactly what i would have wanted..but they are my life experiences and by now i pretty know what works and what doesn't work.

as for as "cattiness" goes, i resent that. i'm not catty. i'm truthful. if you want catty, i can do it but i prefer not to go that route. if you want truth...ask me and you'll get it. the people who have been here for a long time know that i am forthright and stand by my words and actions. and in my opinion, others would be well served if they were the same.

i thought long and hard before i wrote this post. i've been posting less and less here and will be here even less. i have obligations to myself and my work and school and it all comes before PC.

hopefully someone will read this and by not taking it personally will look inwardly and perhaps make some choices that might advance their wellness. if you sit in one place all the time, you'll still be there a year from now. pat

[Fuzzybear]

I completely agree with what you say about very little getting done inwardly if all one ever hears is platitudes and hugs. Although I am usually happy to give and receive hugs when "appropriate" I do get very frustrated by platitudes at times in some threads and some places, and also feel frustrated by watching nothing but hugs when no growth occurs.

I am disappointed to see that the thread in question was removed as I think there were some very valid points there and I hope this thread stays where it is!

[(JD)]

Hmmm I missed that long post, was it removed?

Fayerody makes some very true statements, imo.

<font color="blue">
What I've learned from being active at PC, is that even if someone asks for the truth, they might be able to handle the truth. If it's a newer member, then noone really knows what they can handle, what they need to hear, or how they need it phrased so they can hear it. If they can't hear/accept what you're saying, what good does it do to state it?

Sometimes, when I have an answer (my opinion) and I'm not sure how the rest of PC will read the response, I send it in a PM, instead.

When posting at PC, we need to take as many variants into account as we are able. That means thinking about what you're posting, to whom, why you wish to reply, what you are going through at the time, and how others (including the thread originator) will read the post. It's a lot to consider.

This is a support site. We all know that. Sometimes we need to be reminded, imo. Stick to the originator's topic, don't retort or reply to someone else's reply, and above all give support. If that means only leaving a hug, or a smiley, then so be it.

TC!

[Fuzzybear]

PS I also believe in standing by my words and actions and in CLEAR communication.... please note I am NOT accusing anyone of unclear communication... you state your opinions very clearly Pat and I have nothing but respect for that.

My belief in accountability for words and actions is another reason why I personally do NOT believe in deletion of threads.

maybe now I have killed this thread

[Fuzzybear]

yup it was removed and you also contributed to it

[PetulantWolf]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Fuzzybear said:

My belief in accountability for words and actions is another reason why I personally do NOT believe in deletion of threads.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Not sure what the rest of this thread is about but I agree with what you said above...

[Fuzzybear]

thanks, I feel quite strongly about that!

Deletion of threads results in an extremely biased picture of the history of this place and the people here, imo..... as well as the question of personal accountability.

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

I like honesty...I like when people SUPPORT people who they are not upset with nor frustrated with..Its kinder and sez more about everyones growth....I have mixed feeling on deleted..because something said in a cruel way in a pack can make someone look very bad for a LONG time when others research...I will not and cannot judge someone elses progress I think thats up to them and their T..I have come to the point where I do not post at all or post a hug to someone who habitually frustrates me..Its more me than them anyways ....when I react and feel the need to FIX them...Kind is always best....kind and honest is better..I will leave the therapy and tough love to their T

[(JD)]

IMO deletion of some posts, and at times threads is a good thing. If the thread is sour or goes sour, we surely don't want it to be in eternity for others to read, and thereby also have bad emotions rise. I think there is accountability in that if a member has to have enough threads or posts edited or removed, then the admin takes notice and gives warning. The member then has the responsibility to heed or not.

Just because I might have a bad day, or be in a bad spot of my disorder, doesn't mean something snerty I might say should linger to continue to irritate.Since such things said are not supportive, and they are also not etched in gold, they can be removed or deleted. I am happy for that.

[funnygirl]

Fay

Advice is what people ask for when they already know the answer but wish they didn't.

An old aphorism, but true. But then, I'm just an old cynic!

FG

FG, thanks. i needed