[whimsygirl]

Too little sleep. Too much emptiness. Too much crying, leading to feeling exhausted and having persistent headaches. Too many reminders everywhere around the house of the person I called my Best Friend in the world....who was a part of every one of my days....and who is now as cold as ice. Yes we had some misunderstandings over time, but in the world I used to believe in people who truly loved each other fought for what they cherished. I still want to believe in that world, but I don't know that I can. Unbearably sad.....

[Rohag]

I'm sorry, Whimsygirl. For a start, can you find a way to get quality sleep?

I still want to believe in that world, but I don't know that I can.

May tomorrow morning be a little better.

[sweathers81]

Is it stuff laying around the house. Maybe you can pack it away in a special box, and put it in a closet for now. Or maybe rearranging things so they don't remind u of them. Its really hard to lose a special person. But for u to be able to move on with your life, u have to try to be positive about yours. I hope u can find the peace u need. Best wishes

[regretful]

Good morning whimsygirl,

The other day (yesterday) you wrote in a post how we are more difficult on ourselves than we are on anyone else...you know, our own worst critcs...I suspect that your Best Friend in the world might have a big part to play in their absence from your life now. Believe me, I know what you mean by the abandonment matter; it brings up that feeling of betrayal for me...I have constant reminders of my "best friend"...he's the one that suggested I get into this business that I'm in (and it is the cause of, and if not, then the catalyst for my depression)...

Here's what I've done in the past couple of days: I do all that I can to stop thinking about my friend in a negative manner. I am on a path of forgiveness. I find that if I get away from the negative feelings about this friend - you know, stop focusing on the abandonment and betrayal and turn it to forgiveness, that I wake up feeling a bit better.

I hope that this helps and am hopeful that you get some quality sleep.

[penguinsing]

I've been thru similar situation before and it's now going thru also. It's very painful.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by Rohag

I'm sorry, Whimsygirl. For a start, can you find a way to get quality sleep?
May tomorrow morning be a little better.

Hello....Thanks so much for your kindness. (My notification thing must not be working right, but I'm very grateful to have found your message now, pretty much by accident!) Anyways, sleep is kind of a tough subject for me, because I suffer from severe sleep apnea, have to wear a mask when I sleep, and because I haven't ever found one that fits that well, I tend to "fight" with it most of the night. I'm still trying though!

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by sweathers81

Is it stuff laying around the house. Maybe you can pack it away in a special box, and put it in a closet for now. Or maybe rearranging things so they don't remind u of them. Its really hard to lose a special person. But for u to be able to move on with your life, u have to try to be positive about yours. I hope u can find the peace u need. Best wishes

Thanks so much for your comments, and your kindness. Everything you said is right on target. Although I am fighting the urge (at the moment)....and it's a strong one, to just pack up all the gifts, and the cards, etc. and send them back to her, for the time being I am going to do EXACTLY what you are saying, and just box them up. (In face that's on the agenda for this afternoon.) Although I can't really avoid the reality that so many things make me think of her, and how heartless she's being....I can at least start with removing the "physical" reminders.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by regretful

Good morning whimsygirl,

The other day (yesterday) you wrote in a post how we are more difficult on ourselves than we are on anyone else...you know, our own worst critcs...I suspect that your Best Friend in the world might have a big part to play in their absence from your life now. Believe me, I know what you mean by the abandonment matter; it brings up that feeling of betrayal for me...I have constant reminders of my "best friend"...he's the one that suggested I get into this business that I'm in (and it is the cause of, and if not, then the catalyst for my depression)...

Here's what I've done in the past couple of days: I do all that I can to stop thinking about my friend in a negative manner. I am on a path of forgiveness. I find that if I get away from the negative feelings about this friend - you know, stop focusing on the abandonment and betrayal and turn it to forgiveness, that I wake up feeling a bit better.

I hope that this helps and am hopeful that you get some quality sleep.

Thanks for your kindness. I'm truly happy for you if you are anywhere near forgiveness....I do realize that in the end that may happen in my situation, but to be honest I'm not anywhere near that yet. I can't remember if you wrote in any of your posts when the whole situation with your friend happened, but for me it was all very recent. It is actually only within the past week or so that the reality that she has deleted me from her life has become clear to me. Because she lives in NY, and I'm in California, a lot of our communication was online or on the phone, so I think it just took a little longer to "get it". So anyway, although forgiveness is not an impossibility some day, right now I'm just in a state of grief, my emotions swirling....moving from despair, to anger, to frustration, and so on, and on, and on. And of course because I suffer from this demon of depression, I can't help but turn a lot of things inward. I am thankful, though, to have found a counselor who I will be starting with in a couple of days.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by penguinsing

I've been thru similar situation before and it's now going thru also. It's very painful.

Thank you for your kindness....

[regretful]

Originally Posted by whimsygirl

Thanks for your kindness. I'm truly happy for you if you are anywhere near forgiveness....I do realize that in the end that may happen in my situation, but to be honest I'm not anywhere near that yet. I can't remember if you wrote in any of your posts when the whole situation with your friend happened, but for me it was all very recent. It is actually only within the past week or so that the reality that she has deleted me from her life has become clear to me. Because she lives in NY, and I'm in California, a lot of our communication was online or on the phone, so I think it just took a little longer to "get it". So anyway, although forgiveness is not an impossibility some day, right now I'm just in a state of grief, my emotions swirling....moving from despair, to anger, to frustration, and so on, and on, and on. And of course because I suffer from this demon of depression, I can't help but turn a lot of things inward. I am thankful, though, to have found a counselor who I will be starting with in a couple of days.

Hello whimsygirl,

I'm close to forgiveness, then it slips away from my grip because of somethnig that happens in my business...I'm still in that swirl of emotions..everything that happened between my friend and I is still emerging, and occurs daily...he is the one who suggested that I leave my career as a psychologist and start this home care business...and while it was my decision to do this, I can't get away from the idea that I wouldn't be in this boat if he did not suggest this to me in the first place...

Anyway, I am digressing...I do hope that you have found a good counselor. I'm going to start therapy with a psychologist next Tuesday; I'm looking forward to that (I'm sure that my wife is tired of my litany of complaints, and to complicate matters, we work in the same business, so we are around each other 24/7)...Digressing again...

Good luck with the new counselor! I am hopeful that we both have positive experiences and progress in therapy.