Incredibly Lazy- Perhaps linked to Depression

I became less and less active over the years. Things I enjoyed doing in the past I simply don't feel like doing anymore.

I've stayed inside for years now. Mainly because I wasn't interested in the outside world and social situations. And because of that, I grown to be extremely lazy. I always coaxed my dad into doing things for me and now he's gotten used to it. He enables me to be lazy more and more and then gets on my case that that I don't do anything. Can you believe the double standard?

Anyways, I frequently get pissed and even start whining a bit if I have to do something as simple as taking out the trash out or taking the laundry upstairs. Staying on the computer, eating junk or ordering out, and laying in my bed is mainly what I do day after day and I get moody if that routine is changed. Often, I find my way back to it somehow, whether that means by self-excuses (Oh, well it's not that important anyways...), or lying.

I've gotten by for a while, but now I'm coming to the age where I'm expected to take care of myself-- meaning to get a job, house/apartment, car, insurance and so on. And people are staring to catch on. When asked why I stay in my room all day and don't go out, I give them the usual "Because I don't feel like it," response. Usually they get pissed because that's my only response.

Looking back, I feel ashamed of all the things I could've done if I had the energy or motivation to do them. Like joining a sports team, an art club or even making friends. My dad is upset that I don't get out and do stuff that I like. It's not that I don't want to do them, is that I don't feel like doing them.

I always hear old people feeling saddened over the stuff they could've done when they were younger, well I'm saying this as a teen and I'm scared a little.

Any suggestions?


Thanks.

Shame on you for using your dad for so many years. He loves you and in his mind is trying to help you. You know you are manipulating him and seem very arrogant about using him so easily. Go tell your dad your sorry, quit using him financially and emotionally an get your lazy but out of bed (or off the stupid computer) and begin to take care of yourself. I don't know how old you are but if your over 18, I would throw your lazy butt out!! Make it right with your dad before it's too late!!

Most of my life is a "because I don't feel like it" but you know what, life is hard and ugly sometimes and we ALL must do things every single day that we'd rather not. You are no different!!

Easier said than done.

I'm a Dad, 3 teens, incredibly brilliant. I'm haunted by my daughter's comments that I set her up for failure by telling her how incredibly beautiful and brilliant she is. Objectively she is, what she does not understand is that is not enough. There are 7.5 billion of us. The gift is life. Enjoy yours.

And yes, to every child of my generation I apologize. I grew up believing if you worked hard you could achieve anything. My kids are growing up believing that they have already earned it.

Neither is true. You can't change the past or control your future. But you can participate, if you want to give up and sit on the couch, I can only tell you life, each day, each moment, is so much more precious than the marketers selling shiny beads would have you believe.

The truth is, under the duress of the world none of us really cares about the other. We listen. we pretend, but in the end it becomes about me. Parents, family and life long friends are the exception. Honor them. it is nice to have someone to care about and who lets you care about them.

If you have a parent that is willing to throw themselves under the bus so you might live. Celebrate it with every breath. One day, you will for your kids.

Important: I understand you are in despair. Most days I am. But what you see of the world is your perspective. Believe whatever makes you feel good about yourself and those who give to you.

2 Rules to live by:
Respect yourself.
Respect those around you.

Sorry this is a bit long. I haven't mastered the sound bite.

Wolfgang, you and I must be quite a bit alike. I've struggled with the same issues for a while (since jr high) and now in my early 20's, I still don't have the answer. I slid through college with the bare minimum, and now the only thing holding me motivated to keep my job is the desire for privacy & independence from my parents. I can barely make it to work on a consistent basis, much less do laundry, pick up after myself, or bathe regularly. We won't even talk about the state of my car at the moment. I don't have friends of the sort that other people have because they're either too much effort or too invasive.
I have absolutely no motivation to do anything that requires time, effort, energy, etc. that I would rather spend elsewhere. It seems to be because none of it bothers me. The second any of does though, from a picture frame tilted 'wrong' to a week old bag of trash in a corner, start to bother me; I suddenly have the motivation to "fix" it ASAP. But until that moment of negative stimulus, I just don't care.

I wish I had some suggestions for you but unfortunately I have nothing to offer but an 'ear' and the encouragement that you're not alone. Maybe one day I will have something more.

Also, props to you for being honest & transparent in your quest for help in this post. There will always be others who 'shame you' due their own lack of ability to see a situation from any other perspective than their own. Don't ever let any one else's ignorance get you down.

Here's a favorite quote of mine: "If you have a complicated job, hire a lazy person for it; he'll always find an easier way to get it done."

That was a very interesting story.

just in case it is all totally linked to depression-and I am serious when I say this-do you have a library? honestly, if you go there and open up books you would never have even thought of reading before, you might find something truly inspiring! yes, you will look at lots of stuff that is not interesting to you, but when you find something that speaks to you it might lift you up out of where you are now. that happens to me all the time. it really, really helps. just my two cents worth, but I wish you luck. and, show your dad some love too. (I'm a parent so I know it would mean the world to him)

I know how you feel about not wanting to go out , I hate leaving the house any more I do what has to be done but nothing extra I used to be a out door person all the time now forget it , Sorry dont know how to help but cut your dad a little slack you the bare minum you have to do to get by and maybe you will discover you like it more than you think . I wish you well