Feeling Hopeless and Sad

Hi,
I am trying to learn my way around this site but it seems complicated to me since my thinking is muddled. There is a lot to read and am going to try to do some of that.

Tonight I am feeling so sad. Can't seems to get past these feelings. It's like nothing will change. Seems like the only time I feel worth anything is if I get out, go shopping, eat out with hubby. But it is hard to motivate myself and then I dread coming back home. We have one car so I haven't got a way during the week unless I drive hubby to work, 20 mi. then back and then pick him up,, expensive. I have isolated myself and stay in bed much of the time. I did wash the dishes today and cooked supper. I felt good about myself for awhile.

For awhile I thought meds were helping but now seems like nothing does.
I want to sleep. But lately it will not come. Don't want to take benzo for sleep very often so I take bendryl. I am prescribed klonipan but take it sparingly.

I have weaned off on pain meds after having disc problems. I take 5 milligrams of loratab only when really necessary. and never took over 10 mil a day for fear of addiction. I take lexapro and a mood stablizer, lamictal 200 ml. time released.

I just needed to write down how I am feeling. Hubby is sleeping beside me. :-) I'm glad I found this group. I hope someone can identify with me.

Thanks for reading and listening.

Hello & Welcome, Judith G!
You're not alone. I've had to use Edit Options - "Forums to Exclude from View" (under "Your Profile") in order to pare down PC to something more manageable for me.
You're no stranger to depression/bipolar. Over the years has anything changed for better or worse?

Welcome Judith.....Thanks for posting, glad you've joined us! Sounds like you've been dealing with a lot, and I hope you will be able to find some comfort here in the forums. Looking forward to hearing anything you feel like sharing in days to come.....

......... your day sounds like mine. Staying in bed and wanting to sleep in order to shut it all out. I did do the dishes and cleaned the bathroom.
You are not alone in how you are feeling. It is tough to get up and get going when depressed. I try to pick one thing that I will do every day, even if it is menial, in order to have some sort of a routine.
Hang in there.......... you do not need to suffer in silence.