Depressed Due to Being Too Shy

I'd like to be more outgoing toward other people, but I just can't. If I don't know someone really well, I'm not able to carry a conversation with them without awkward silent moments. It depresses me a lot that I can't express how I feel toward certain people or form friendships with them.

Also, there are relatives that I'd like to talk to more than I currently do, but my social anxiety gets in the way of that.

I'm not sure what to do, and it greatly depresses me. It has been doing that to me for a long while.

Hello Fairy Tooth, I am sorry you are feeling this way. You sound like me, before I was as depressed as I am now. I understand what you are going through.

"It" is your personality. While it can be said that everyone is an individual and is different from another, our personality is the "core" of our being and fits into specific categories. It is the reason why there is order in this world, and sometimes, chaos. It is the very thing that may hinder or boost our communication between each other.

Now, you are a Peaceful Phlegmatic human. The legend goes that these humans have too much phlegm in their throats, preventing them from speaking. You are a follower, quiet, shy, a people pleaser, a jack of all trades, master of none. The reason I can tell this is because you say:

"It depresses me a lot that I can't express how I feel toward certain people or form friendships with them."

That is the goal of the Phlegmatic. You want to be friends with everybody. When you cannot achieve this goal, you become depressed. That is the reason why I am still depressed today. I have been depressed most of my life. I am sorry but I still have not found a solution for this problem. I still have more information about it, though, if you want to hear it. Will you please let me know?

The description of "people pleaser" strikes a chord with me, in a way. I think I try too hard not to upset people, which distracts me too much and still doesn't seem to lead to forming as many friendships as I'd like.

I wouldn't say that I want to become friends with "everybody," though. I just want to open up to certain people and make friends with them, but my shyness gets in the way of that and hinders it. Perhaps trying to gain the approval of others and being too afraid to upset them cause me to be a "follower."

I'd definitely like to hear more from you about this subject. I think you nailed it with some of the descriptions in your post, and I'm interested in knowing more.

Hi Fairy Tooth....Welcome to the forums, and thanks for posting. I'm so sorry you're struggling with certain things. Have you talked about all this with a therapist ~counselor? If by chance you haven't, hope you will in the future. Best wishes ~whimsy

Hiya fairy tooth, ive always been the same, ive got severe anxiety depression and borderline personality disorder. You need to talk to someone (either professional, or anyone ya can trust/relate to).
Bottling up emotions and not understanding healthy relationships has runined my life (I'm 30 now) ended up hospitalized 13 months. am agarophobic now.

please get some help and live a fuller life.
ps if people have a problem with you its their problem, you are special.x