[retro_chic]

I want to die. I honestly can't imagine this ever improving and I am afraid that one day I just wont be able to take it anymore. I don't want to kill myself but I don't want to live like this either.

I have been feeling so tired and exhausted lately and seem to be getting a lot of headaches too. I am just so completely over it. I want it to end.

[LiveThroughThis]

I have been where you are....in fact I was there last month, and (crossing fingers not this time) I probably will be again soon.

You put it perfectly: I don't want to die, but this life is not a real life----it doesn't feel like it anyway. It feels like a piece of one, and I wonder what happened to my full, rich one, and where did it go... often I have a hard time accepting that my life is actually my life; it's not some short-term thing.

Just know I relate so much, and when that feeling comes up no words can sum it up. Having my bf around helps. Do you have someone you can lean on?

[regretful]

That's where I was about two months ago. Not a day went by without tears and thoughts about how much better the world would be without me around. That feeling built up for months upon months. With the help of this site, medication (Cymbalta, 30 mg) and individual therapy, I think I'm turning the corner. I also enjoyed reading a book called "The Depression Cure" by Stephen Ilardi, PhD. It has some practical and useful tips to battle this illness.

I sincerely hope that things improve for you soon.

[CgRgSm]

Exactly where I am at now. I am sorry this life has been so difficult for you, I know it is for me. People always tell me things like "quit being emo" and "you have nothing to complain about", "quit whining" and the list goes on. But truth is, they have no idea what goes on in my head, how I feel, and how everyone's coping levels are different. Sometimes I think I hate people, but then I remind myself that it is not their fault; that there is a reason for everything.

I dont think I can go through with killing myself, but I sure wish I didnt exist...

I'm sorry I dont have the answers. I wish I could have been somebody, a hero, some charming guy that always knows what to say in,the worst situations. But I can't. Im just a nobody that is good for nothing and will die a painful death one day for nothing.

[addict8844]

Surround yourself with the things you love and the ones who love you. Every life is precious. Please don't act out.

Originally Posted by retro_chic

I want to die. I honestly can't imagine this ever improving and I am afraid that one day I just wont be able to take it anymore. I don't want to kill myself but I don't want to live like this either.

I have been feeling so tired and exhausted lately and seem to be getting a lot of headaches too. I am just so completely over it. I want it to end.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by CgRgSm

Exactly where I am at now. I am sorry this life has been so difficult for you, I know it is for me. People always tell me things like "quit being emo" and "you have nothing to complain about", "quit whining" and the list goes on. But truth is, they have no idea what goes on in my head, how I feel, and how everyone's coping levels are different. Sometimes I think I hate people, but then I remind myself that it is not their fault; that there is a reason for everything.

I dont think I can go through with killing myself, but I sure wish I didnt exist...

I'm sorry I dont have the answers. I wish I could have been somebody, a hero, some charming guy that always knows what to say in,the worst situations. But I can't. Im just a nobody that is good for nothing and will die a painful death one day for nothing.

I agree so much.....Dealing with people and the things they might say ~ways they might react can be so difficult.....but the things you mention are terrible. I'm so sorry if you had to hear those kind of things, no one deserves to be treated that way. With me it's usually just an awkward silence, like maybe they want to say something, but the whole topic of depression is just something they can't deal with. And even though I know they possibly do care....it still hurts. And the idea of someone actually asking about it.....no. I'm really sorry you're hurting, and you're not alone in that. Best wishes.....

[retro_chic]

Thanks everyone for the support and big hugs to those who are hurting too. I still feel pretty miserable but it always helps to be reminded I'm not alone

[tinyghost]

Originally Posted by retro_chic

I want to die. I honestly can't imagine this ever improving and I am afraid that one day I just wont be able to take it anymore. I don't want to kill myself but I don't want to live like this either.

I have been feeling so tired and exhausted lately and seem to be getting a lot of headaches too. I am just so completely over it. I want it to end.

I've been here a lot, and currently am now, but the fact that you came out and said something to someone is a good sign - it means that while you feel like things won't get better, you have some hope they will. Or at the very least, you may find someone who understands.

How are you feeling today?