out of control

feeling so low don't think I can get any lowr. just feeling all the emotions tangled together causing turmoil inside of me and I don't know how to handle it except taking the dreaded xanax and over doing it. I don't feel like anyone gets it and can help. no where to turn but the xanax at least then I will sleep and feel no pain, problem is I promised my T I would not abuse them any more and I would hate to break a promise but not sure thats a promise I can live up to tonight. Just need the pain to go away

I'm really sorry to hear your feeling this way, is there anyone you could talk to right now? Is there anything that works to help you sleep other than the xanax? Posting more about your feelings may help too get them out as best you can and get feedback and support And just think about how much worse you may feel tomorrow for breaking that promise to your T, I know you want the pain to stop and I can relate to that need to do it now by any means, but tomorrow you will have to deal with this weight plus the weight of a broken promise. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot I'm afraid if you add more to the list it may become even more overwhelming

[QUOTE][I don't feel like anyone gets it .../QUOTE]

I can connect with you, alone in the world. I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was eight, and depression runs on both sides of my family--I probably inherited the bulk of it. As a social worker, you connect with all these people out there and their problems ... and if that's not enough, you live in northern California. Psychologist do studies out there, because the environment itself--with its lack of sunshine and prevalence of rainfall--can cause people with no history of family depression to suffer from the mental disorder.

I don't want to attack your confidence in your therapist, alone in the world, but please ask that you work together to develop some coping skills. I don't think it's healthy to be asking clients to make promises without giving them more than pills (a great deal more) to fight the demons.

Do you go to chat here? Maybe you can use this place more. Maybe you need different medication. How long since you've been evaluated? I turned out to actually be bipolar--the depression diagnosis was not complete. Who prescribed the Xanax?--your medical doctor? Check into getting a pdoc, a psychiatrist, for psychiatric medications.

You need to advocate for yourself. You need the best medications for you. There is no such thing as "good enough" when it comes to the medical team in charge of your mental and physical health--and you head the team.

Roadie

[quote=Roadie;2557026]it was actually my old pdoc that prescribed the xanax the new one doesn't like to use them. my T has given me good coping skills along with some groups I attend the promise was for safety. Having all the coping skills in the world just do cut it when I am so low. I did just get my meds adjusted this week so I just need patience. Thanks for the info about N CA didn't know that I knew it was affected when I k=lived upstate NY where the winters are so long. Thanks for responding it helps to get feedback.