Is it wrong?

I've been dealing with depression for about 6 years now and I sometimes I just cave and try to reach out to my family but then they always act like it's a crime. I've had a lot just handed to me my whole life and in all honesty I have no reason to be depressed, but that doesn't make it any less painful. But sometimes I just need to be told it's okay but they act like I am so stupid for being depressed and don't believe a word I say about it. Could someone really fake it for 7 years? I don't know what's going to help anymore because everything I try to do to make it better is just a failure because I have no support and I feel really alone...

Hi Littlelady ! don't feel bad. Some familys become embarassed by depression as they see it as a mental illness and that's AWFUL!!! How DARE anyone in our family have a mental illness!!! LOL Isn't that silly?? People can be so uninformed, can't they?

Depression is an illness, yes --- but it doesn't mean you're crazy for Pete's sakes! And yes, it's a mental illness -- but I'd bet that someone else in your family has a mental illness, but they're not going to admit it. LOL There is NO SHAME in having a mental illness. It's just like having a cold. Is that shameful?? Heck no.

Dearheart, you need treatment, and the best treatment is therapy. Call a good therapist, or better yet, have your medical doctor give you a referral to a therapist and get into sessions to find out what the reason is for your depression. YOu need to get to the core of it -- you've got to peel back the layers and find out what is at the bottom. We might THINK we know what the cause is, but 99% of the time, it's not what we think it is. I was in therapy for years, and mydepression sure wasn't caused by what *I* thought it was.

I hope you'll make the call. You'll feel so much better once you get started. Yes, at first it can be painful because you're going thru some painful stuff -- but after you get thru that, it's not bad at all. I wish you the very best. Please keep us posted, ok? Take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee

littlelady1560,

To answer your question, no, it is not wrong. I'm sorry that your family looks at it the way they do. Many people look at it that way, and many people hold all their feelings back, just like you. But, it will be more difficult and painful for you if you continue to hold all of your emotions and feelings inside you like that. I know, I've had a nervous breakdown and I'm 22 years old.

I have also been handed basically everything to me in my life, including my first car, first and current job, and many other things. Like you, I have "nothing" to complain about so it seems. Still, something is eating at my soul. There IS something that is making you feel the way you do, and as Leed said, you need to get to the bottom of it. You aren't stupid. And nothing is your fault. I don't know that it is possible or why anyone would fake being depressed. If your feelings are real to you, then that is all that matters, nothing else. You should try to get some professional help if you can, help from people that study in emotions and the brain more than just normal people.

I am very alone too, even when people say they are there for me. To me, when they say that, it feels like they aren't REALLY there, I'm sure you know this feeling. It then makes it even worse because you wish you could just say something but you can't make yourself say it. But please, will you PM me, or just let us know how you are doing sometimes? You can tell me anything, ask me anything, any time.

Hi littlelady.....I'm so sorry you're suffering, and dealing with loved ones who do not respond in a caring way sure can add to the sadness. Have you talked to your doctor about the things you're telling us here? If you haven't, I hope you will soon, as a medical doctor is the one who can begin to provide a diagnosis and then create a treatment plan to go forward....possibly to include medications to help if you suffer from depression and ~or other mood disorders, perhaps psychotherapy, referral to a psychiatrist. All possibilities, but it all depends on your specifics. A few little things I need to mention. You refer to reaching out to your family as "caving". That's so sad to me, as it implies that there is something weak? wrong? with doing so.....not true. If you are going through all this, through no fault of your own, there is NOTHING wrong with reaching out, regardless of the way others may respond. You say that because of having some things handed to you, you have no reason to be depressed? Although it can be more complicated than this, depression is in part a physical illness, caused by abnormalities in the levels of certain chemicals in your brain (neurotransmitters).....and the way they are working. This has NOTHING to do with what you have been "handed" in life, any more than it would be related to having any other disease. I hope you are not being hard on yourself for things you had no choice in. Warm Wishes ~whimsy ps.....Have you done some reading ~research on the basics of depression? There are lots of helpful books out there, and tons on info on line

Hi littlelady! I, too, am sorry that you are having problems with a family that doesn't understand. As you can see from the replys, you are not alone. A lot of us have been through similar things with our own families. Depression has nothing to do with what your family has given or is giving you. Like the others said, talk to your doctor. He can help you with meds or a therapist. I wish you well and hope to hear more from you!

Alot of families do get embarrassed, and some times they see it as a reflection on themselves. My sister was my legal guardian for my last two years of high school, and to this day (about 30 years later) she cannot understand why I'm still having problems. She has convinced herself that I was magically cured by living with her for two years. When I have tried talking to her about my issues, she would roll her eyes, and then spend a good half hour or so trying to concvine me that it simply wasn't true. I think she thinks that it reflects on her, but it doesn't!

All very wise Lee (as usual ). Just wanted to add ....sometimes depression is solely the result of an imbalance of neurotransmitters, and there may not necessarily be "layers" to be peeled back. The purpose of therapy varies from person to person. While there MAY be circumstances in someone's life ~past that are adding to their depression....and those things are hopefully able to be addressed in therapy, at other times the role of a therapist may be to help the person deal with the thoughts and feelings (symptoms) caused by the physical illness. I think it's very important to remember that depression often distorts one's perception, so even how someone interprets their history can be distorted to some degree when someone is being affected. And no....I'm not saying it always is, but it certainly CAN be. It all depends on the details, and everyone's experience with depression is unique to them. Believe me, I completely believe in therapy, I'm in my 50's, and have been in and out for years (currently in), so I am speaking from my own personal knowledge. It is not a cookie-cutter thing......

Thank you guys so much, it's just so hard not to feel like it's wrong to feel this way. I've tried to seek professional help but my family is weird about it and don't really support that decision. But I'm now old enough to finally make my own decisions I guess I just need to make a decision. Thank you guys so much means a lot to me