[CgRgSm]

I have issues. Lots of issues. Friday night/morning at work I felt the worst I have ever felt, although it seems that with each days passing I feel worse still. I finally decided that I have to gather up all the strength I have and somehow try to find help, and if I cannot, well I am not allowed to say what happens then. But I can't go on like this.

Some of you fellow PC'ers may have read some of my posts, and I have posted my story here before so I don't really want to say the whole thing again, it is too long. I am very depressed, negative, I hate my life and I see no point in anything. What I need is advice, for how to find help. I work and have benefits and I think I still go through myCIGNA, so I went onto that website to look up doctors. I don't know what to look for though, I don't know if I need a Psychiatrist, Psychologist, or Therapist/Counselor.

I have received on-campus counseling in my years in middle school through high school, and it didn't help me at all. If anything it actually made things worse. I also have a couple questions. What all am I allowed to say to one of these doctors? And can something I say get me into trouble? Will they put on my record that I am dangerous to myself? Because I don't want that.

[Leed]

Bless your heart. I'm sorry you're feeling so badly. Personally I prefer psychologists because they give you feedback. Every single psychiatrist I've been to just SITS there and grunts. I got NO feedback from any of them. NONE. BUT the one pro about a psychiatrist is that they CAN prescribe medication and you just might need some. A psychologist cannot prescribe.

So talk with your medical doctor -- your family doctor, and get a referral to probably a psychiatrist. He will know a good one to send you to. Try to get in as soon as possible, although that might be difficlt. But these sessions WILL help you greatly and you will NOT regret it. Keep in mind that it will get painful at some point, but you have to go thru the bad stuff to get to the good stuff. Also, if he prescribes medication it will take about 6 weeks for it to begin working. Most docs don't tell you that. And do NOT stop taking it abruptly or you will put yourself in DANGER. They are very dangerous meds and bad things can happen if you stop them quickly.

I wish you the very best. God bless and PLEASE let us know what happens, ok? Keep posting too -- update us. Hugs, Lee

[CgRgSm]

Thanks Lee. That sucks about the psychiatrists. I really doubt that anyone can help me, maybe I just need meds. And I think with my insurance I don't have to go through a primary doctor to get a referral - that I can just go straight to a specialist. Also, I told my primary care doctor that I just want to die sometimes and he wasn't too helpful. He put me on some Zoloft and called it a day. I never felt any different from Zoloft, also tried St. John's Wort and all that happened was I got really bad headaches. It will be very hard for me, cause I work the graveyard shift and it has always been difficult doing day-time things.

[Kingsley85]

I felt exactly like you at one point. I decided I was either going to try to get help one last time or else do something to hurt myself or worse. I went on my insurance website and found a psychiatrist. She was great, I got meds from her and I saw her for 50 minutes a week for therapy. She was really active and gave me a lot of suggestions and comments. I was able to tell her things I could never share with anyone else. Since then I had to move and I changed providers. I saw two psychiatrists who either were unsympathetic or simply didn't want to adjust my meds and would only see me for 15 mins. I kept trying different ones until I found another good psychiatrist. She talks to me for 50 minutes and is really helpful. Most people see a psychiatrist and a psychologist. You can do what I did and go straight to a psychiatrist if you want. Ideally you would want to work with a therapist and a psychiatrist and have them talk to each other and coordinate your care. Eventually your therapist will know more about you than your psychiatrist so it's important that he/she stay in contact with your psychiatrist. It takes time for meds to work sometimes one to three months. Also therapy takes time, you might not get into deep issues for feel comfortable until ten sessions go by so it's really important that you stick with it. The best advice I can give is if you have a unhelpful family doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist change providers don't quit. I have had bad and great psychiatrist, therapists, and family doctors. You have to seek out the good ones. You might get lucky and find great ones your first try but if you don't connect with them try new ones.

Also about therapists, there are basically three kinds. There are social workers, master degree level therapists, and PHD level psychologists. Social workers have usually the least education and PHD psychologist have the most. So I would say look for a master degree level therapist or someone with a phd. My therapist has a phd and that's helpful because I studied philosophy so I talk a lot about that stuff and she is able to understand what I'm talking about and to challenge me. Now there are bad phd psychologists, they arnt all great, it's important to find someone with a style you like and with whom you feel you can make a connection.

Hope I helped, this is all just from my experiences.

[CgRgSm]

Thanks for sharing your experience Kingsley85. I realize that therapists/doctors are only human too, and it just seems like I need something that doesn't exist. I guess I just have to try something. What you said about coordinating a therapist and psychiatrist makes sense, but it also sounds reaaaaally difficult to make that happen. Well, I will let everyone know what happens.

[tigerlily84]

Hi there. I just wanted to let you know that I contacted a T directly that was a provider through my insurance. And the therapist thought that I needed medication (which I absolutely did), so she referred me to a psychiatrist. It wasn't that difficult at all. And yes, they did work together. But mostly I saw the therapist. It's not hopeless.

[Kingsley85]

Originally Posted by CgRgSm

Thanks for sharing your experience Kingsley85. I realize that therapists/doctors are only human too, and it just seems like I need something that doesn't exist. I guess I just have to try something. What you said about coordinating a therapist and psychiatrist makes sense, but it also sounds reaaaaally difficult to make that happen. Well, I will let everyone know what happens.

Sometimes therapists have psychiatrists they work with often and vice versa, so asking for a referal of someone they have worked with might help with the coordination. I still have an empty feeling in me, I wish someone could just save me. I don't know if that's how you feel but everyday is a challenge. It sounds like you have realistic expectations which is good. I hope you feel better, your not alone.