Wish You All a Happy New Year :)

Hmmm..... well... what have I been doing? After posting nearly everyday here for 8 months, suddenly, I had nothing to say... It was weird.

I think things in my mind had reached a scream. The way I was doing things weren't working anymore. I wish I could say I've discovered the great answer, but it's more liike I'm just a little further along in the journey....

Occasionally I still have those panic moments of feeling inferior, self doubt, self-loathing. What good does it do me anyway?

The future is still some vague mist I can't see clearly. I'm moving in some direction with no idea where it will lead, but I'm going along for the ride. It feels like it's going the right direction.

I got very down around the holidays. I boycotted Christmas financially and still a few people had to get me gifts even though I asked them not to. Said they wanted to show their love. Wish they'd have saved their money and gave me love is all.

New Years is a different matter for me. On one hand I don't want to set myself up with a lot of promises that may end up broken, and on the other I want to promise being more optimistic, more positive, reinforce the good of the past year and reach higher this year. I want to be like the snake shedding it's skin leaving behind all my old, negative habits, see myself as this new individual who can, who does, who is.

Things really are going well. School is occupying my mind, filling me with hope about the future; I'm in the first relationship I've had in several years as I learn to trust and care again; I'm employed, I'm healthy, my basic needs are met....

I still spend a fair amount of time trying to understand our political world, our social world, our spiritual world. Those matters can still depress me if I stay too long. I'm learning to compartmentalize better and that's really helped alot.

I hope everyone who reads this will spend more time contemplating the positive in their life this New Year cause we're already too good at thinking on the bad.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." Confucius

What you say is so true, (((Darrel))) = I'm really happy to see you on, and especially to hear about the positive developments that have been ocurring in your life. Like you, I am hopeful about the possibilities for the coming year. Most fondly, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

I am glad to see you back, Darrel.

I've learned one thing about New Year's resolutions. When we resolve that we will make instant changes in our lives on a particular day of the year, we set ourselves up for failure, because we are still the same person we were the day before and haven't done the work to make the change stick. We would do better instead to set goals and take steps to get closer to our goals. That way we we don't have to suddenly do it perfectly - if we were better this week than last week, we have made progress and that is good. Just something to consider.

I wish you all the best in the New Year!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Wendy

<font color=green>"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible" Carl Jung</font color=green>

Darrel, it's good to see you post. I have to admit I've been thinking about you lately and wondering how your life is going. Good to hear that things are working better for you.

Wishing you the best in everything you do.