"Being a Heartless ***** is never easy. What made you think choosing the path of self-determination was going to be the easy one? This is going to be painful for you. It isn't all about spewing poisoned pen notes about your victimized past,today and tomorrow. sure THAT is easy. What's hard is building a life, and changing yourself. Not them. You. Have. To. Change."

--Auntie Dote

whoa............this is heavy duty and i think it's true. it's hard as hell to build a good life and change myself. not them. me. i. have. to. change. i own my depression and work towards positive ways to change it. not dwell on what was, is and could be. it's what i'm doing, right now, that will make a difference for me tomorrow.
a huge meal for thought. xoxo p

[Rhapsody]

WOW!!!
Oh how true.... for it is so easy to always remain the VICTIM and to never SEEK a solution to our own inner problems from our once wounded past - If it is not working, CHANGE IT!!!!

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[Fuzzybear]

it's too easy to sit here and pour out words and back them with no action. blaming others when it's our own ---- that we're wallowing in.

from this moment on, if i can't work it out...i will come here...or try to see a T. but, i got this far and i think i can get a bit farther down the road......i think you can too! just have to make the decision to not whine, ***** and cry.....xoxoxoxo

[kimmydawn]

How true this post rings for me right now, and for about the past six months, pat.

I've had to face change, and face it continually every day and it's so stressful, upsetting and UNCOMFORTABLE. It would be so easy to go back...if i only could. I know, given the choice, I would though...even with the hard stuff.

Much love and respect,

KD

This is such a powerful message, Faye. Thank you for posting it. My T has me working at the moment on changing the way I think and behave when triggered, instead of just letting the trigger happen. It isn't easy, and fighting the urge to dissociate is really tough at times. But I think what he is doing is right for me (it might not be right for everyone, I know). For me, now is the time to tacle those deeply held beliefs. They may have been there for a long time,a nd there are identifaible reasons why they are there. But they are not helpful to me, so it is time to get rid of them. And you are right - it is so hard to do, such hard work. I feel like it is two steps forward and one step back a lot of the time - but heck, I'm moving in the right direction, and I am going to keep moving that way!

Thank you, Pat - I'm going to note this one down so I can keep coming back to it. I don't want to be someone who dwells on the bad things that have happened - I want to move forward and change the way I behave so that I can live a healthy life.
C

Yes, change is SO hard, especially changing the deep down stuff. I'm just beginning to work on some of that and at times I want to throw up my hands and say, "I can't do this". But you know what - I may not be able to eat all of the elephant at once, but I can eat it a bit at a time.
C

[Rhapsody]

How true Caroline...................... (and you know what) I will help you eat those elephants, one at a time.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

i am fighting the depression of packing up all this stuff. making choices about selling really dear possessions that i don't need anymore. but i WANT them.

help me through this process. it's killing me.

plus the immune system problem is killing me and i want to wallow in that.

i feel so tired and lackluster today. i have to work from 1 til 10........don't let me wallow, whine or *****.

or did i just do that?

the dearest customers are causing me the most misery. since i'm moving, they all want something special framed by me..between this past week and next Friday. sure is a good damned thing that i'm "certified"

......and i may need those psych meds that i have the certification for in Texas. love, big time, pat/ethel/and her demons

A BIG SHOUT OUT FOR ALL OF YOU TODAY!

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((pat)))))))))))))))))

how about a compromise?

How about you stay busy and get what you need done each day, then pick at least one hour to FEEL it...all of it, including the pain.

Change is necessary sometimes, but it doesn't mean it's not painful and we need to recognize that for what it is. Sometimes that pain can lead us to some beautiful remembrances.

So, make your changes, keep yourself strong by limiting the "whine", but allow for the feeling, sweetie. rant, rave and moan...even cry...for that hour.

we'll be here for all of it.

KD

Thank you so much, Rhapsody. I really appreciate that.

My current elephant is tackling the feelings of being unable to cope. I need to keep reminding myself that I CAN cope and AM coping. Please remind me of that when I forget.

Gentle hugs and lots of thanks

C

Getting rid of stuff is something I really struggle with, Faye. Something that happened accidentallyw hen we moved some years ago was that there were things I packed up into boxes and then put into a storage area in the house. A year later I found the boxes again and realised that if I hadn't searched out the contents in a year then they obviously weren't that important. But maybe you also need to recognise that there are things which are important to you and that you have a right to hang on to those things, even if you don't need them. Memories and treasures are important to us.

As to the wallowing, whining and *****ing - well, if you have worked for 9 hours today you can't accuse yourself of slacking! Give yourself a break now and again, Pat - you DO deserve it and you don't have to do everything today. Besides, you can't do anything if you make yourself ill by overdoing it. No, I'm not encouraging you to slack - just ot cut yourself some slack now and again.

Be well

C

[wisewoman]

I can't tell what is whining and *****ing and what is sharing? Sharing is so good for the soul.

[Rhapsody]

ROFL.................. sharing is done with out an inconsiderate attitude, with out any hand jesters and void of all ill harm dreamed upon another.
Now with that in mind are you sharing whining or *****ing? Gotta LoVe IT!!



LoVe,
Rhapsody -

You have a way of hitting the nail on the head, rhapsody.
Thank you.

C

[Fuzzybear]

[Fuzzybear]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Rhapsody said:
ROFL.................. sharing is done with out an inconsiderate attitude, with out any hand jesters and void of all ill harm dreamed upon another.
Now with that in mind are you sharing whining or *****ing? Gotta LoVe IT!!



LoVe,
Rhapsody -

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">


i'm not sure that Wisewoman or i understood you......especially the question of "are you sharing whining or *****ing? and also the "Gotta LoVe IT"...........pat

[(JD)]

mindfulness. Thinking of the active present, not the past nor the future.

It's very hard to do when something else interferes....to keep focus.

[Fuzzybear]