[SoupDragon]

I am somewhat in limbo land as I don't have a pdoc and my T has persuaded me not to have a label - yet know the signs / symptoms and I know I have been depressed for a long time now.

I function fairly well, but I pretty much have daily thoughts of suicide. At first this is why I went to see my T as I knew it wouldn't be a good idea to act on them and now although they have not lessened, I am generally more able to separate from them and view them as an annoying buzz / horror film, instead of something to get hooked into.

Things in my life have become more pressured recently and my mood plummeted for a while last week and T was aware of this in the session - I am pre-empting that my T may discuss some help beyond just therapy at our next session and I just wondered what benefits medication gives?

Does it get rid of the depression completely, does it just make it easier to resist the thoughts?

I would appreciate if anyone could share their experience of medication with me. I just want to be in a good place to decide whether meds should be something for me to try regularly.

Thanks - Soup

[likewater]

Hi Soup. For me it got rid of depression for awhile, then stopped after my brother died. I upped the dose and it helped more but not completely. I don't think we have my med cocktail right at the
moment. Nothing seems to be working. Part of problem is I can only take generic on my insurance. Still at least my will to live is stronger than suicidal thoughts. Partly because I don't want my family and friends to feel pain that I feel losing my brother .and religious reasons too.also, I have alters that
keep me alive. I gave you way too long an answer, but I think medication does help. May angels surround you.

(((Soup))) ...

As a person who's had Dysthymia (Chronic Depression) most of her life, along with a couple of Major Depressive episodes, as well as Complex PTSD, I can honestly say medications didn't do all that much for me ... After several years on them, we finally had to take me off because the side effects were becoming too serious.

Talk therapy is what has worked best for me, and continues to do so ... Some of the behavioral therapies are also more helpful than medications for Trauma Survivors who wrestle with depression ... Oh!, and if we can, getting ourselves out of unhealthy relationships that may be causing the trauma and depression in the first place is tremendously beneficial.

Some people swear the meds work for them, and they very well may, however, it has been my personal experience that there is no magic pill to fix my diagnoses, so I've just learned (as much as I hate it) to accept it the best I can and to sit down and talk it out with a qualified professional when it all starts getting overwhelming again.

,
Pfrog!

ps. Suicide has always been an option for me ... Simmering in a pot on a burner on the stove that's located somewhere in the back of my mind ... However, after surviving my first attempt, I decided then and there that I wasn't giving the bastards that (that being my life) ... If I kill myself my abusers will win the whole dayum war ... !!! ... And, I'll be dayum'd if I'm giving them that satisfaction ... ... !!!

[Leed]

For me medication has gotten rid of the depression completely! I don't even think about it anymore It took awhile to get the dosage straight, but now I'm feeling rather GREAT. There have been a couple of days when pain has caused me to feel a little crummy (I'm a chronic pain patient) but that's to be understood. That's not caused by depression.

So I'm really grateful for the medication cause I've been depressed since I was a small child -- and this is great! I wish you the very best if you try the medication! I sure hope it works for you! And remember it takes a little time before it starts working. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

[SoupDragon]

Thank-you for your replies, it seems you have all had such different experiences - hmm this mental health thing certainly isn't an exact science is it

It would be so great to take a pill to get rid of this stuff in my head as I said I have come along way in not being so freaked by it, but it is not the cheery stuff I would like to wake up in the morning to. I am just so terrified of medication...says Soup who has happily taken my mum's prescription pain killers in the past. I think it is taking it everyday that makes me most anxious, something to take now and again just to have a bit of a break from it all, would be my preference, but I am guessing that doesn't exist (beyond my mum's prescription meds, which incidently she does not have anymore, they were to get her over the aftermath of surgery - I didn't steal them from her, she gave them to me for my migraine's as she didn't need them).

Maybe I do need to just accept this is "me", some people may struggle through life with deafness, 1 leg, scars from burns, maybe this is just my thing to carry - maybe life just isn't perfect for most of us and my expectations of a perfect life are too high.

Thanks again - I realise there are not any guarantees from taking meds, they may or may not work.

Massive dragon hugs to all of you - Soup

[oliamble]

In my case when I was taking my medications for depression, fluoxetine for genetic Prozac 20mg/day, it helped me so much such as to the point where I felt I no longer needed them. Depression is a very serious phsycological condition and if not treated it can bring a person to the point of suicide. I would recommend that if you believe OP that a it might be necessary to be on these, you should give it a try. I would, I have been there for 14 yrs. and If I had to put myself through medication, I would do it all over again.

Good luck.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by oliamble

In my case when I was taking my medications for depression, fluoxetine for genetic Prozac 20mg/day, it helped me so much such as to the point where I felt I no longer needed them. Depression is a very serious phsycological condition and if not treated it can bring a person to the point of suicide. I would recommend that if you believe OP that a it might be necessary to be on these, you should give it a try. I would, I have been there for 14 yrs. and If I had to put myself through medication, I would do it all over again.

Good luck.

I think I am still learning about me and exactly how strong I can be. Since starting with my T, three times I started to act on the thoughts, it is like they took over my brain and I knew it was wrong what I was doing, but it was very hard to control myself. The last time that happened was about a year ago and I feel much more in control of my self these days - mindfulness has helped me enormously. I so nearly made an appointment to see my GP this week for a prescription, she tried to persuade me last year, but settled on some beta blockers and benzo's to at least alleviate the anxiety bit.

I am glad you had a good experience with medication, maybe I just need to have an open mind and discuss this with my T on Tuesday.

Thank-you Soup

[tigerlily84]

For me I don't think it really worked. I took Prozac, Wellbutrin and Zoloft... not all at once. But to be fair, I didn't really give therapy and the meds a real chance at the time. Since you've mentioned that you used to take your mother's prescription meds, I just want you to be mindful of the fact that the meds your pdoc may prescribe will not "fix" you. It will make it bearable. The rest is up to you. Just take it one day at a time.

Hi Soup,
sorry you are feeling so low lately, I hope your mood picks up soon
AS for medication, I tried three different type of anti depressants and two of them made me more sui then ever and the other one made me sick everyday- not a pleasant experience but it is just my experience and they CAN work for others.
I felt nervous and anxious on them and it was scarey how my mood dropped suddenly, they really don't work for me, I try mindfulness and cbt now and that helps and talking helps.

[Bmee2]

i am not sure for me suicidal thoughts will ever go away. It is some kind of security blanket i think. It only becomes bothersome when the thoughts become persistent and ever present. i think everyone it a bit unique. So you may have to do a combination of medication and talk therapy. Or perhaps try a slightly different therapy...art therapy, a kind of hands on therapy called rosenfeld...i cannot remember the name exactly. In any case, try to remember to breathe, and you most definitely are not alone.

[tokiwartooth]

It seems like every medication I've taken has lost its effect after about 2 years. I've been on meds for 12 years, so you can imagine how many different meds I've tried. Right now I'm on wellbutrin and clomipramine. I've been on clomipramine for almost 10 years and it's the only one that has continued to work. I've found an ok combination of the clomipramine and wellbutrin, but it's not as good as it was when I first started taking it. Now I'll probably have to up the dosage. Then once I max out, try to find something else. It's kind of been a nightmare. Meds curb the anxiety and the deeper depressed feelings, but they don't get rid of them completely. For me, it was more like taking the edge off of things. I went to therapy, but that never seemed to help much either. The one good therapist that I had while I was still living in Florida passed away. I credit her with saving my life. After that, I saw a psychiatrist that was a pill pusher, and a therapist who was more concerned about what I thought of my acne then the fact that I was depressed enough to want to hurt myself. The only things that have really kept me here are my close family and friends. Talking to them is better than talking to a therapist for me.

[roads]

Soup, the pdoc I found who agreed to find the best possible cocktail (not just something "good enough") has kept his word over the past 5 yrs. this has made a real difference in my quality of life.
Roadie