Hello. I think I need help.

Hello everyone!

I think it's great that support groups like this exist. Sometimes an outsider looking in can provide better insight without being biased against or for the person involved. Or sometimes we just need someone to listen to us without being judged, and maybe empathize.

I'm depressed and I've been like this since I was 10 after I found out I was adopted. My adopted family didn't handle it well when I found out. Instead of being counseled or assured I was labeled an ingrate for asking why and who are my biological parents. I'm 27 now, till this day I don't have an answer. I'm still being called an ungrateful bastard even if I don't ask anymore.

Do you think asking why and who my real parents are makes me an ingrate?

Not being able to talk about this to anyone made me suicidal. I have at least 5 (failed) attempts a year that I remember from the time I was 10 yrs old until today.

I decided I need unbiased help - considering the number of times I've actually failed. I've tried opening this up to my family but they just make me feel worse by telling me that it's a wrong, that it's sin. It's really not helping me.

The adoption was an unresolved issue but my bottomless pit of problems never seem to end.

I was raped by my ex boyfriend and he got me pregnant when I was just 18. My family was concerned about their reputation so they wanted me to marry him or have the child aborted. My conscience cannot take the thought of killing another human being so I married him. He abused me sexually, emotionally, physically and mentally.

I asked helped from my family but they didn't help me. They said I have to deal with this, that I have to suffer the consequence of being a slut.

Finally one day my begging worked and my family took back. But only because they were afraid that I might never finish college if I get pregnant again, because my ex-husband would abuse me every night.

I thought things will be better. But my family continue to rub in my face that I'm such a failure and a disappointment.

I tried to redeem myself, I graduated Suma Cum Laude in college but instead of attending my graduation my family decided to skip all together because they don't want to pay the graduation fee.

My son and were unhappy living with my family and my parents were starting to get really angry that they have to take care of my son when I'm not home. My mom won't take care of my son but she won't let me get a nanny for him. So we argued and I ended up being kicked out of the house.

I had to give up being my son and do what I think was best, and that is to have him stay with his dad because they can take care of him. I just graduated at that time and didn't have any savings.

We already filed for a divorce, especially now that my ex-husband is already living with his new girlfriend. So since he has moved on my son is now staying with my former in-laws.

My in-laws are now planning on adopting my son and make me lose my custody.I haven't seen my son for more than a month now, and it's killing me.

To make matters worst I lost my job a couple of months ago. I'm struggling with bills, rent, food and transportation. I can't borrow money from my friends because I don't know when I can pay them.

I'm having a hard time keeping up at work. I've lost my wits, my other abilities and ultimately my self esteem.

I also started dating this guy, he's helping me out a bit but he's not exactly supportive or at least comforting.

This morning, I almost got robbed by two guys who wanted to take my laptop but I was able to run. When I told him this his reaction was, "well you better be more careful next time". I'm traumatized with this situation because I had a friend who was robbed and shot on the head, even if she gave her laptop to the robbers.

So I told him that I wish you could be a little more comforting. He got mad. We can't talk about my problems without it leading into an argument. I have so many issues with him because I already caught him cheating.

I really don't know what else to do.. I need help..

Thank you!

Virtual Hugs to Everyone!

i would definately get some help if I were you--you have been thru alot.

Bless your heart. In your relatively short lifetime, you have had nothing but trauma. Absolutely NOTHING but trauma. And you've had NO support from anyone!! My heart goes out to you. I cannot imagine having to give up your son. I'm so sorry.

I think your parents acted very badly, especially about the adoption. NO, I don't think you're an "ingrate" for wanting to find your biological parents!! I think they should have helped you in every way to find them!!! It doesn't mean that you would love them more than your adoptive family -- it just means you need to find them! I totally understand that! My daughter gave up a baby for adoption when she was 16 - it was her choice, as she knew she couldn't care for a child and she wanted to finish school and go on to college. Thru an agency, we found a lovely family and they adopted the baby. When the child was 16, she contacted my daughter, and they met -- all with the approval with her adopotive parents, who are just great! We all met at the same time and it was wonderful. That's what SHOULD have happened for YOU. I pray that you are able to find your parents, dearheart.

Your current boyfriend doesn't sound like your ideal mate, my friend. You deserve better than a cheating bum! If he's not supportive, and doesn't even listen to you, you should throw that one to the curb. You deserve the BEST -- just think of what you've accomplished!! You graduated with highest honors from college!!! That's wonderful! But I think your self-esteem has taken a huge hit, and you could use some therapy.

Call your medical doctor and have him get you a referral to a good therapist. Therapy would do you a world of good, to get your self-esteem back where it ought to be. Settling for some guy who cheats, doesn't listen, isn't supportive isnt' a good sign of someone with high self-esteem. So go to therapy and work on it, ok? You won't regret it. I wish you the very best. Please let us know how things work out too, will you? God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

oh you poor girl i wish i had a magic wand and magic those horrible ,mean bas##### out of your life, ihope and pray that you get your son back, and get some confidence and start a new rewarding life that you and your son deserves, good look, be brave girl keep us posted xx

Thank you for all of your replies. It's very comforting that there is someone out there who listens and sympathize with my situation. It made me smile that you all wish me well. I hope everyone is doing great.

I've started looking for a therapist in our city. But I might have to hold off therapy for now. I've got bills piling up that I need to settle immediately. I'm hoping to have my big break soon (or sooner) at my new job, to get my morale boost and maybe a little of my self esteem back.

There's been some good progress with my boyfriend. We had a pretty intense discussion and he was very sorry he didn't realize he was being unsupportive. He thought giving me a pep-talk on helping myself up or telling me to get a better paying job was his way of showing his support.

I reminded him why I fell in love with him, that he was the one who motivated and believed in me when no one else in my family did. He was always proud of what I do.

I told him that sometimes all that I need is a HUG and some comforting words, not a solution to my problems - well at least for the moment. He has been helping me with my rent, food and fare; after our discussion he realized I need more than just the material support.

I'm feeling a little better now that I have you guys to vent out my problems and that I still have someone who is physically here to hold my hand.

I'll update you again soon. Hopefully my next post will be much better news.

Take care everyone!