[Jekyll_Hyde_Man]

I've been in a bad place recently it seems and I just can't manage to find my way out of this rut. I've been down all week, not feeling good enough, not feeling like I matter. I'm letting my life fall apart around me and I don't even care anymore because really, what's the point? I'm not going anywhere. I'm never going to get out of this crappy little town and I'm never going to make it anywhere in the world. No one cares. No one even looks at me twice. I'm just a shadow. I'm just a whisper. I'm barely there and completely unnoticed. My parents don't care, because they just think I'm being lazy. They think that I'm just not working like I should be. And maybe that's a part of it, but they don't ask WHY I'm not working. WHY I'm seeming to be lazy. They don't ask WHY I keep wearing long sleeves and haven't rolled my sleeves up in a long time. They just ignore it, because they just don't care. They don't want to believe that I can be depressed. They don't want to believe it and I'm sick and tired of trying to hide how I really feel so they don't feel bad about everything. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to give up, more and more everyday, I want to give up. But I don't know...

hope you feel better!

[Livebythesea]

Sorry you are feeling this way but believe me that you are not alone in how you feel! I feel like my life is falling apart (lost my job, barely leave the house) but I think you might come on this site like I do, because we know there just might be a better life out there. A lot of us know that unless you have been through depression, you will never understand how debilitating it is - and your parents may never understand. If you are able to get to a doctor and or therapist I would really try. Medication has helped many on this site and if you haven't tried them yet it might be worth it.

I often think about leaving this town and starting over somewhere new. You are not alone. Stay on this site. Let us know how you're doing.

[Leed]

Hi ~ Is there some way you can see a therapist. You really need to be seen!! I'm very worried about you -- your depression sounds quite severe, and you need treatment.

Can you at LEAST see your medical doctor? Talk to him and see what he says. If HE recommends a therapist, then HE can talk with your parents. And at the same time he can put you on an antidepressant to tide you over until you can get into therapy. If he should put you on an antidepressant, you must remember that it takes awhile for these medications to work. Some take just a few days, while others can take weeks to work. Ask the doctor how long YOUR medication will take to work.

But PLEASE at least see your doctor. Your parents certainly can deny you that, can't they? Tell them you're just not well -- whatever you have to tell them to get to the doctor, but GO. And tell the doctor EVERYTHING. Please go!!! Your very life may depend on it. God bless and please keep us informed as to what's going on, ok? We DO CARE. Hugs, Lee

[Jekyll_Hyde_Man]

Well, the thing is that they can deny me that, because they're my source of transportation until I start driving, but even then, still my transportation, because I don't have a car of my own. I'm going to see my therapist on the 4th of next month, but I just feel like that's too far away. I know, that in reality, it isn't, but I just want it to be here already. I want to be able to go, because I want to be able to tlak things out, to just sit and talk. But I know that I'm really awkward with this new therapist, my old one retired, which was a bit of an upset.
It took forever to convince my mother into getting me an appointment. She kept 'forgetting' to call. And what really bothers is me, is that I know I'm not feeling well, and most everyone else can see, even some of my teachers. I haven't been wanting to wake up in the mornings, I haven't been wanting to do much of anything, and my mom just seems to ignore it. She's a nurse, for crying out loud! She gets nervous when I scratch myself, but not this?! Is she blind? I wish she was, then at least she'd have an excuse for being the only one that doesn't see what's happening. I'm spiraling downwards.
I've also run into trouble with my real father. He's dating a younger girl now, and she's around my age, so that really bothers me. And he's ditching me on Christmas to go be with her in Wisconsin. There are times I feel like just giving up, and this is definitely one of those times...

[enchanted]

Im so sorry things are so bad for you at the moment but please believe that things will get better, i know its hard but try and be patient, i hope things go well with your new therapist and feel comfortable enought to be honest with them. Parents can be hard to figure out, sometimes they try and hide from things that are too difficult or upsetting to face, it is very unfair to you i know and i hope they realise how lost you are and step up, you seem like such a lovely guy and realy dont deserve to be having such a hard time. come buy anytime if you ae feeling down or just want to talk. i hope things get better for you and good luck with your new therapist, let me know how it goes