[Chynnadoll2855]

At age nine I was constantly raped for a year. When I was 13 I was molested by my god brother. I have battled with self injury since I was 14. I'm 20 almost 21. I tired to kill myself several times and as of lately I have been wanting to die. I have no friends my bf sucks! 3 years and he really sucks. My family sucks even more I lost my job. You know what lifes been so rude to me and unfair. I need someone to make things right.

[Roukan]

I am sorry to hear about the hell you have been through. It would really help if you talked to a therapist about your past. Killing yourself would be so unfair, you are here for a reason. Only the strong ones make it through what you have been through. There will be people that will need to know how you made it through your dark times. The only thing in life we really control is our actions and reactions. It is your choice on how you use what you've learned from the darkness. Your best days are ahead of you. Put the past behind you, nothing you can do about it now. Keep your head up, it can't rain forever...

[lynn P.]

I'm very sorry for what happened regarding the sexual assault - i hope you told your parents. The best thing to prevent suicide is reach out for professional help and if you're feeling unsafe, to call your doctor or nearest ER. You need help so you can release this pain and anger. You can't let the scum that assaulted you win - triumph will be healing and making the best of the rest of your life. When the feelings are strong be patient and get help. You've internalized all the pain from this bad person and now its time to heal. Here's some links and I hope it gets better for you.

http://psychcentral.com/resources/Suicide_and_Crisis/

http://www.metanoia.org/

[Chynnadoll2855]

You guys I cant get therapy I dont have a car and no ride to go to free therapy . Broke I wasnt meant for therapy. I really don't want to die thats why this post is here.

[WePow]

I am so sorry. That is so much pain you have carried.
These people are good at helping
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/samaritans.htm

safe hugs

[Chynnadoll2855]

So i'm in the kitchen and my pizza got messed up and I just started crying I feel to the ground and cried for 20 min. Im a mess ughh

[nicoleb2]

If you are seriously considering suicide and you can't get to therapy (which would take time to work anyway) then you should go to a hospital. They can help you there, and should be able to help with setting up services after you get out

You have been through so much and look how strong you are, reaching out here for help you are a survivor and are still here. That speaks volumes about your inner strength.you matter. There are people who care and can help you. If you cannot go to T, please call 911 or go to the hospital. There are tremendous resources that are available and are there for you. People that truly care. Including us. There is no need for you to suffer. You deserve love and support. And care.

It is scary but you can do this! Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

[LoveU]

Try to call the suicide hotline and talk to someone, they may know how to keep you occupied and you may feel better after having someone who trained to listen to your problem. Please hang on, as long as you are live, there will be a better day soon or later. Best wish.

[DDPP4]

Even though I am struggling right now, I promise things will get better...life has been one heck of a roller coaster for me and I often have the same thoughts as you but we must not let those people that treated us like nothing win... We must prevail! People that are mean are not worth your life...I know this is a strange way to think of things (because I struggle with it myself) but you are the good, kind, compassionate person through all of this... You have true feelings. You have a heart, I know it hurts horribly...but you are already a step ahead of those people that treated you wrong. screw them you are worth more than all of them put together!

[DDPP4]

[HTML[/HTML]. You are already better than all those people that treated you like crap, why? Because you feel...I know that sucks for you but try to keep reminding yourself that you are the one that has made it through all this bull and you are the one that is compassionate enough to understand that this was wrong, you are mountains and valleys ahead of these people. Don't let them tear you down further by you taking your life....you have so much more to offer this world! I can tell you that by hearing your story and your cries for help you have helped me feel less alone in this cruel world. Thank you for sharing. Please do not hurt yourself...there are people out here that you motivate to seek the help they need

[Chynnadoll2855]

Thanks you guys im doing alot better. I'm just a crazy girl

[MariaJuana92]

google "mental health" and wherever you live
if you don't already have some kind of professional help