I have been depressed for so long that I'm not sure I've had a moment of contentment for years. It feels like every day is the same. Anxiety and hopelessness. My ex is moving on with his life and has lots of friends. It makes me feel so alone. I don't know how to keep going. My child is special needs and I feel guilty that I'm not doing enough

[InfiniteSadness]

I can relate. Its an awful feeling to deal with. The thought of no hope makes me question why im living.

i know what you mean kelly.

it's a thought i've had too... am i destened to always feel like this.

is this my life

I know how it feels when everyone else around you moves on and you are still stuck in the same place. You are not alone and we are here for you if you want to talk

Originally Posted by laura8

I know how it feels when everyone else around you moves on and you are still stuck in the same place. You are not alone and we are here for you if you want to talk

laura.. i know that feeling only too well

it especially gets to me during the summer- people going to colledge, people going to work, and me... stuck here- with nothing to look forward too.

that's not to mention the actual summer.. everyone out swimming or on picnics... i could go on and on about this. it's the worst feeling in the world!

During the summer..during the holidays..during the day in general : )) Maybe thats why I prefer to go out at night when its more quiet and I don't see that many people heading somewhere. I try not to think too much about it. It's just the way it is. At the same time its a bit of a motivation to work toward getting better.

Thank you for talking to me. Waking up alone is so depressing

Thanks to you all for talking to me. I appreciate feeling like I'm not alone.

[RJ78]

Hi Kelly,

Yes, I know that feeling only too well. And every time a triggering thought or feeling takes place, which can be all the time, it only goes to confirm the sense that things are passing us by. How my ex is doing, whether or not she's moving on, how many friends she has, how she has more fun that I do, has better friends, a new boyfriend, is happier than with me are all things that haunt me.

But with the help of some meds, a therapist, and my new support group, I have a few moments of clarity every day that give me a slight glimmer of hope. You're not stuck Kelly, feeling that way is one of the major symptoms of this damned illness.

I wish you well.

RJ

[KiwiFruit]

Hi Kelly
I really feel for you. i have a friend who is handicapped and I know how hard it is to help him only for a short time. I cant begin to think how you get the strength to do it 24/7.
It takes a lot of love to continue to do that and I am guessing that you have a huge amount of love in your heart and I am sure that it is very much appreciated even if the appreciation is not always visible.
Hope this helps.
Sam

Originally Posted by kelly4519

Thanks to you all for talking to me. I appreciate feeling like I'm not alone.

think of us as 1 massive family.

never be afraid to talk to us

[Nightingale123]

Dear Kelly, just wanted to say that I symphathise and feel much the same. And I hope you will have enough peace and lighter moments to make each day count.

[tigerlily84]

I definitely understand where you're coming from as I am in the same boat. My t says to take it one day at a time. Or one moment, if that's too big of a goal.

[LadyShadow]

I know how you feel. I was obsessed with my ex for years. Wrote him letters all the time till he started refusing them at the post office. I guess he thought I would stop bothering him when he changed his number when I was in the hospital. He did a real grimey sleezy move by doing that. But I never thought he did anything wrong and still loved him for years afterward like a fool. Wasted years locked in my room in a deep depression. So not worth it. Hope you get through this soon ((((hugs)))

[Salvatore27]

Hi Kelly I know the feeling of being all alone like this...I suggest you take baby steps towards getting better...For starters, you should set a time table for yourself to get through the day...By indulging yourself in new activities you will find that it does not feel so bad as it used to...Feel better

[amybeth986]

Originally Posted by kelly4519

I have been depressed for so long that I'm not sure I've had a moment of contentment for years. It feels like every day is the same. Anxiety and hopelessness. My ex is moving on with his life and has lots of friends. It makes me feel so alone. I don't know how to keep going. My child is special needs and I feel guilty that I'm not doing enough

Hi Kelly,

My child has autism, and I understand completely how you feel about not doing enough. I have also been divorced (and remarried) and know what you are feeling. Please know that, despite what you are feeling, you are doing all that you can right now to help your child. You need to first help yourself before you can be of support to others. If you need to talk, I am here. I know that it can feel incredibly lonely and isolating at times when you have a special needs child, and that can lead to feelings of depression in and of itself.

Thanks,
Amy

Kelly,
Oh you are not alone!
Depression has destroyed my marriage and my ex seems to be moving on as well. My daughter wants her mother and I to reconcile but I may have done too much damage for that to happen now.
Waking up alone is definitely a hurtful thing, but with time and for me, lots of prayer time with God, I am coping.
Our kids need us, and they need us to be strong. Its hard and my daughter seems to know just when I am having trouble. I am working on being strong for her!
Reading and replying to posts has helped too. Kudos for being brave enough to share and seek others in similar situation! You WILL get better!

I need to work on being strong for my son. That's a big reason I feel so bad is because he is sensitive and knows there is something wrong. For a while now he's been saying I'm sorry you don't feel good mom, and I always tell him he shouldn't feel bad because he isn't at fault for anything. But I know need to show him I'm ok but I'm not good at pretending that I'm alright. He is the reason I need to get out of this deep depression...thanks to all of you for sharing your stories it helps me to know I'm not alone

[amybeth986]

Kelly, your son sounds a lot like mine. How old is he? What is his diagnosis? I have had the same conversations with my son. I agree with you that he is the reason you need to get out of the depression. I think you are doing an amazing job by seeking out support on this forum. It is better than isolating, and it shows how hard you are working to be there for him. You are a great mom!