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#1
Jun 20, 2006, 04:01 AM
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just woke up and struggling.
i slept all i could. %#@&#! this..... i unno just realy srtuggling. i am angry, soo much anger. i am sad, soo sad. i am tierd, i just woke. my body is in pain, i am lonely, (think i would be used to it now) i am Melancholia, dont even wanna write this. i am despondent, there is no end is there.... "i am numb", (just heard this on t.v. in the background , the response was "dont be numb your a person u got to feel") haha....i dont want to feel!!! i am not as good as my brothers, yes they are better then me and they let me know. i am looked down upon by everyone, this is why i hide. no its not only in my mind! i am frustrated, i cant find a way out. i am alot of emotions i cant identify. how did i get this way. its my fault isent it, i did this to myself? i wanted this? i saw it coming.... i dident think it would go this far. i dont wanna do this anymore. i dont wanna wake. let me sleep. i wanna sleep for a long long time, to sleep forever would be a blessing. no mind altering substances today. this is what i hide from. i can be sober i dont wanna. been sober for months before. and it was hell. i am weak. i once belived i was strong. i have proven i am weak. holding back on this post. cant explain how i am feeling. besides all thiese feelings are 10s on a scale 1-10. -telb
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Accept me as I am-I have no guarantee. A claim to perfection I have not. Perfect I cannot be. I, like you.....am human. Prone to make mistakes. |
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#2
Jun 20, 2006, 04:11 AM
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i feel this thread is stupid.. why do i feel im constantly being judged. maybe because im constantly judging myself. ima go hide.
__________________
Accept me as I am-I have no guarantee. A claim to perfection I have not. Perfect I cannot be. I, like you.....am human. Prone to make mistakes. |
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#3
Jun 20, 2006, 05:27 AM
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GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
am i weak for not wanting to SI tonight!? im tryin not to. i dont want to. i dont very much. i feel im weak if i dont and weak if i do. bah take me to teh p unit. they will drug me up. why am i the only 20yr old male here? %#@&#! %#@&#! %#@&#! %#@&#! %#@&#! struggling, but ill make it. because i am to weak to not make it. luckly no one is around to push me, maybe is why i sleep all day, and try to stay away from ppl that can push me? wont take much. i can push my self. music is on. not a good distraction. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! *deep breaths*. deep breaths and GRRRRs! haha.  i dont, cant go to the er. may need to. %#@&#!. bring on the anxeity!! lovely... .... u guys are great, sorry for bothering you. let this thread die down. please. pm me if u wanna reply.
__________________
Accept me as I am-I have no guarantee. A claim to perfection I have not. Perfect I cannot be. I, like you.....am human. Prone to make mistakes. |
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#4
Jun 20, 2006, 06:45 AM
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(((((telb)))))
I'm here if you need to talk.
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"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." -Bernard Bailey |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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