[BlueFaith]

I'm exhausted with life. I know it probably isn't true, but it really feels like no one cares anymore.

Home life is nearly unbearable. My mom and dad are making my life hard, too. I went to stay with them for awhile, because I had to get away from the situation in my own home. My mom is an alcoholic, so she was slobbery drunk the majority of the time I was there. And then there's my dad, who is a preacher. Good combo, eh? All I heard from him was that I need to go to church to make all my problems go away. Yeah, that works... whatever.

I got on the subject of mental illness with my mother... which was a huge mistake. She basically just told me that it's a cop out. No one is ever really mentally ill... it's all just a way for people to get attention and get a "free ride" through life. That's what she says about it. In her opinion, everyone should be able to get over whatever has happened to them in life no matter what.

She doesn't believe in bipolar disorder (which is what I have). She said that everyone seems to have it these days... it's just a diagnosis handed out by docs like candy... a good way to get pills.. she says. Another made up illness. Apparently this illness is all in my head, and I should be able to get over whatever it is that's really troubling me. I don't need medicine. I don't need psychiatrists or therapists. I just need to shut up and get over it. Get on with life like everything is ok.

Right now I am having a very, very hard time with life. I am depressed and having really bad thoughts. I cry all the time. I barely eat. I don't do anything useful or productive. But I must remember that it's all in my head... something I can snap out of and get over.

If I do go to the doctor or the hospital I know I'll pay the price when it comes to my parents. They won't understand. They'll keep it a secret that I even went for help at all..... after all, no one should EVER know that a preachers daughter has problems like THAT. I'm nothing more than an embarrassment.

I have a wonderful husband, 3 wonderful kids, a nice house, and nice cars. I'm financially stable... there's no reason for me to be unhappy or depressed. I should just get over it. Lord, how I wish I could. I've tried. It's not working.

How does someone deal with parents like this? Am I going to be forced to cut off all contact with them, because they don't understand anything?

I had a therapist tell me once that if my parents decided to get mad at me and not talk to me for the next 5 years that I'd be much better off. I'm beginning to think he's right. Has anyone just wanted so badly for someone to understand? I want them to understand and support me. It would help me so much. I just don't think that's ever going to happen. Thanks for letting me vent here.

[SweetSunshine]

Jenn~
They are living in their own little world . They dont see reality for what it is right now. I am not excusing them from what they are doing to you at all ok? But they dont know any better . Well maybe they do...they just dont want to acknowledge it. And they are too swallowed up in their own problems too. I think and thisis just my opinion too, that it would be best for you to just stay away for awhile . Tell them they need to get a grasp of their own lives and take care of themselves and get themselves well. And your going to take care of yourself by taking a break from them. If they ask how long.. tell them you dont know. Just however long it takes for them to accept you for who you are and your mental illness too. Because it is a part of you. This is something you didnt ask to have hon. And your trying your best to deal with it. Not having the acceptance of your own parents hurts. And they need to come to terms with it if they want to be a part of your life.
You know ... I need to listen to my advice lol. Darn it anyways lol.
Now ... isnt it time for some chocolate?
Luv ya
Bethy

Jenn... my parents are the same as yours! I feel like the black sheep in our family.
I don't have much advice to give to you... But one thing you need to do, is listen to all other persons in your life that really understands you and loves you dearly. Your kids love their mom and your hubby loves you! I love you, my friend! You've got a lot of caring friends here in PC. I know it is not enough... but it's a lot! Let us love you, Jenn!

i'm so sorry that things are piling up on you with family. i know how that can be. it wasn't until my nieces became "mentally ill" that my sisters decided that it is a disease.....

if you can, find a doctor and go anyway. let your parents stew in their own juices/alcohol....it's your life now.

find someone to talk to . a good T can do wonders when we're this low. and we all love you here.....i hope you know that........xoxoxo pat

[telb]

((((((((((((((((jenn)))))))))))))))))))))
been thinkin about you. hope things look up for u soon.
Hang in there.
please stay strong.
thing will get better sometime?
much love.
-telb

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( Jenn ))))))))))))))

Sending my support,
Love,
Fuzzy

[Kalamity]

I put up with my own mother for years because I so desired her support and love. It's a very hard thing to come to accept that it may never happen. I've cut off ties with my family - they don't know where I live - and it's probably one of the best decisions I've ever made. It hasn't made all my problems go away but my problems are no longer aggrevated by someone who thinks I'm nothing more than a whiner and a hypochondriac.

It's hard to believe anyone else can care when our own parents are so dismissive and even hurtful when it comes to needing their support.

I'm sorry that you are having such a horrible experience.

[BlueFaith]

(((( Bethy )))) (((( Nina )))) (((( Pat )))) (((( telb ))))
(((( Fuzzy )))) (((( Kalamity ))))

Thanks, everyone. It's hard when those that are supposed to actually care about you really don't. But there is good news.. I have people here that understand... kind of like my adopted family here. I'm hanging in there. This just hit me especially hard the other day. I've decided to limit my conversation with my parents for the time being. I can't continue to let them drag me down even further. They aren't going to win this time. I have to keep reminding myself that I am an adult now and I can make the decision to either let them continue hurting me over and over or to put a stop to it. I'm no longer required to obey them or see things the way they see them. I am not under their thumb anymore. I can choose and decide things on my own... with or without their approval. I'm going to stick to it this time. They aren't going to get to me. I appreciate you all for taking the time to respond... you guys mean the world to me.

[SweetSunshine]

Jenn GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am soooo proud of you! If you need me to help you in anyway to hold to this let me know ok? I am here for you! You can be strong ... YOU ARE WOMAN!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!! LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!! You know me... I couldnt help but add that in there! lol

Luv ya!
Bethy