[doggiedo]

Things are not going so well for me right now. I feel more alone than ever.

I live alone and can go the entire night without talking to anyone. I just got told by a guy I was "talking to" that he doesn't think there is anything there. Did I mentioning divorced and my ex is happily married? I don't have kids and my parents are pressuring me to give them grandchildren. My grandmother thinks that since I'm 32 that I'm too old to find someone and settle down to start a family.

I used to have an eating disorder which I conquered but all I want right now is to have that back. I want to be skinny again. I want a guy to like me. I want to fall in love and feel that again. I want to snuggle with someone. I want to WANT to get back in the gym, and yet I have every excuse in the book to not walk across to the clubhouse where the gym is (right where I live) and use the facilities. It's an excuse. I look at my overweight mom and pray I don't let myself get like that.I have just gone off the pill, so now my face is breaking out. I just look and feel ugly.

I don't have any friends, and the few I do call my "friends" have kids now and they are too busy for the likes of me. I'm doing online dating but I feel like a loser. Only guys who like me are the ones that I don't like back.

Think of the good things right? Idk what's good in my life. For example-new years eve all I did was spend it alone and went to bed by 11. I'm a freaking loser. My only friend that I talk to just ditched me...he was an ex bf that I dated for a year. He told me his current gf doesn't want me talking to him...so he is cutting all contact. Mind u I broke up with him, so idk why she thinks I'm all about him or something.

I don't feel like I should even be here anymore. What's the point?

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by doggiedo

I feel more alone than ever. ...My only friend that I talk to just ditched me...

That hurts. Really hurts.

Originally Posted by doggiedo

What's the point?

We all could speculate till the cows come home, but...I don't know. That exercise wouldn't make me feel any better.

Strength for today, Doggiedo.

it could just be me, and I mean NO disrespect to your family or "friends" but it sounds to me like you are surrounded by a$$holes.
I would LOVE grandkids, but if my daughter does not produce them then that is MY frickin problem, not HERS! 'Nuff said.
TRUE friends are about as hard to find as water in the desert.
Ever heard that saying "a friend in need....is a pain in the *****?"
Real friends won't leave, even when they should.
I dont know anything about your size, but skinny wont fix as much as you think. You might just meet a whole new line of a$$holes who are going to find something ELSE to make you feel bad about.
I know its hard...because I find it almost impossible myself...but you gotta love yourself before anyone else will. AND you gotta have enough respect for yourself to tell everyone to shove it if they dont like "you."
I cannot remember whose signature it is, but someone in PC has the signature "The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable."
Once you strike out on your own, don't expect many fans. You will have to be you and exude a confidence that attracts people. Again, I know, very very difficult!
But I am working on it every day...I will NOT give up!
I will find someone to love again...I will not spend the rest of my life divorced and alone.
But right now, after only 5 months, seems like an impossibility.
I assure you, set yourself free....and go live a life worth living...you are worth it, and you can do it!!

[unaluna]

No, your grandmother is too old to start a family. You're only 32!! Get your butt to the gym! Join some meet-ups, or start one. Train for a half-marathon or the Women's 3-day 60 mile walk. Or start playing tennis. or golf. Okay I named all the junk I like - pick one or something else!!

[optimize990h]

Originally Posted by doggiedo

Things are not going so well for me right now. I feel more alone than ever.

I live alone and can go the entire night without talking to anyone. I just got told by a guy I was "talking to" that he doesn't think there is anything there. Did I mentioning divorced and my ex is happily married? I don't have kids and my parents are pressuring me to give them grandchildren. My grandmother thinks that since I'm 32 that I'm too old to find someone and settle down to start a family.

I used to have an eating disorder which I conquered but all I want right now is to have that back. I want to be skinny again. I want a guy to like me. I want to fall in love and feel that again. I want to snuggle with someone. I want to WANT to get back in the gym, and yet I have every excuse in the book to not walk across to the clubhouse where the gym is (right where I live) and use the facilities. It's an excuse. I look at my overweight mom and pray I don't let myself get like that.I have just gone off the pill, so now my face is breaking out. I just look and feel ugly.

I don't have any friends, and the few I do call my "friends" have kids now and they are too busy for the likes of me. I'm doing online dating but I feel like a loser. Only guys who like me are the ones that I don't like back.

Think of the good things right? Idk what's good in my life. For example-new years eve all I did was spend it alone and went to bed by 11. I'm a freaking loser. My only friend that I talk to just ditched me...he was an ex bf that I dated for a year. He told me his current gf doesn't want me talking to him...so he is cutting all contact. Mind u I broke up with him, so idk why she thinks I'm all about him or something.

I don't feel like I should even be here anymore. What's the point?

You are not alone with these feelings. Many of us who come to PC have come to similar circumstances. I essentially spent my new year's alone, too.

[0w6c379]

I was also alone on New Year's and went to sleep at 11 pm. Sorry I can't be very encouraging tonight as I'm not up to it myself.

[allimsaying]

Originally Posted by SpiritOfAStorm

it could just be me, and I mean NO disrespect to your family or "friends" but it sounds to me like you are surrounded by a$$holes.
I would LOVE grandkids, but if my daughter does not produce them then that is MY frickin problem, not HERS! 'Nuff said.
TRUE friends are about as hard to find as water in the desert.
Ever heard that saying "a friend in need....is a pain in the *****?"
Real friends won't leave, even when they should.
I dont know anything about your size, but skinny wont fix as much as you think. You might just meet a whole new line of a$$holes who are going to find something ELSE to make you feel bad about.
I know its hard...because I find it almost impossible myself...but you gotta love yourself before anyone else will. AND you gotta have enough respect for yourself to tell everyone to shove it if they dont like "you."
I cannot remember whose signature it is, but someone in PC has the signature "The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable."
Once you strike out on your own, don't expect many fans. You will have to be you and exude a confidence that attracts people. Again, I know, very very difficult!
But I am working on it every day...I will NOT give up!
I will find someone to love again...I will not spend the rest of my life divorced and alone.
But right now, after only 5 months, seems like an impossibility.
I assure you, set yourself free....and go live a life worth living...you are worth it, and you can do it!!

sorry, it was worth repeating. I dont know your whole story but this 'get back up' sentiment is how we persevere.

[doggiedo]

I appreciate the support guys. I felt better this morning, but the nights are really difficult for me. I think I'm going to try and take a few more days inbetween talking to my parents...I gotta have them stop the guilt trip. It's just not healthy for me.

I applied for a few jobs today, in larger cities. I felt like I really need a change in scenery. Or even if I don't go or even get an interview, it's nice to have something to focus on.

Originally Posted by doggiedo

I don't have any friends, and the few I do call my "friends" have kids now and they are too busy for the likes of me.

I understand how you feel. Consider the following:

I have kids, and I feel as if my single friends don't have time for the likes of ME.

I also feel as if my other friends who have kids don't have time to be friends with me, because they all seem to be busy leading their own busy, productive, amazing family-centered, professionally fulfilling lives.

I further suspect that most of the people I know have plenty of social interaction because they have extended family living close by... which I do not.

I remember when I first had my kids, I just assumed my closest friends would take an interest in them, would want to be part of their lives and watch them grow up. To my surprise, the friends who live closest have zero interest in that and NEVER see us, while certain friends who live far away and see us only once a year actually DO have a relationship with my kids and are interested in them as people!

Where am I going with all this... I guess I'm saying don't assume anything about people. Try simple gestures to reestablish contact with a variety of old friends and see which ones "bite." You might be pleasantly surprised.

One of your friends who has kids might be bored silly, wishing s/he could connect with you, perhaps envying your freedom and/or assuming YOU must not have time for THEM.

Another idea... Try inviting a friend with kids on some kind of outing where the kids can tag along... lunch at the park, for example. Kids go play; you get the chance to hang out with your friend; friend is grateful for the chance to have a social engagement without the stressful overhead of way-in-advance planning, rounding up a sitter (which also requires cleaning up the house enough that you aren't ashamed to have a sitter in), etc.

Online dating, I have no direct experience with, but it seems like it's no magic bullet... it's worth a try, but try other things too, like pursuing your interests and striking up conversations with people you meet along the way. I don't necessarily mean "Go join a club!!!" which for many of us is a big BLECH! I mean if you like photography, let's say, take some pictures and when you go to get one framed, chat with the guy at the frame counter...

You are a worthwhile person! Hugs.

[NoCake]

I lived for a few months without talking. You really don't want to go there... If you want to meet people I suggest trying out some charity/non-profit work. You get to meet lots of people and you help people too.

And you need to talk with your parents on this one. Yeah they're your parents and everybody's parents want grandkids I guess but when and if that happens is your decision not theirs. You are an adult just like them and that pressure sometimes comes with the preconditioning to think that you are still a little girl. Of course parents don't even realize their doing this half the time (seriously they're like WHO ME???) so you have to tell them how you feel about it.

And no 32 is not too old to start a family. In fact it hasn't been since - ever...