[SerenitysWave]

<font color="purple">Not really sure if this goes in this catergory but here it goes....

I am feeling very abandoned emotionally... I keep voicing my need for attention from my husband and I am not getting it. I feel disconnected from everyone around me: my family, my friends, my co-workers.... even myself.... I seem to bve functioning very well , but I am screaming on the inside as if I am trapped in a sealed vault that is 10 feet thick and no one can hear me..... I am on auto pilot, going thru the motions of what is expected of me and what I think I am supposed to be doing..... I find myself with that urge again, my eyes want to wander.... but I resist b/c it is not right, been there done that way too much pain caused and loss of trust, I dont want to happen again, but I feel the pull..... I try so hard to initiate spark with my hubby... To tell him I need and want his attention, he tries, but its not enough, I am not getting enough.... Why cant I be satisfied??? Is it me, or am I really lacking attention??? Am I self centered??!! God I hope not.... I am emotionally lost... I keep reminding him that sex is not gonna cut it for me, I am emotionally disconnected sexually even though I enjoy it emensely.... I feel darkened, like my light is about to be blown out again..... I need to feel it, not hear it........ Thank you for letting me vent! </font>

[Rhapsody]

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

And if I may ask? - when you talk to these peoples about your needs, are you doing it in a loving and respectful way (or) does come across as demanding and judgmental?


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[SerenitysWave]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Rhapsody said:
((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

And if I may ask? - when you talk to these peoples about your needs, are you doing it in a loving and respectful way (or) does come across as demanding and judgmental?


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

<font color="purple"> Very good question! After thinking about it a bit I have to be honest and would say probably both.... more so with my hubby ... I think he just doesnt know what to do .... I have tried specifics, but I dont know... Yes there are times when I am not nice about it.. which is wrong.... and I can see why someone wouldnt want to give me the attention I am craving... I am aware that I can be manipulating... something I am working on..... I cannot explain the kind of attention I am craving... It isnt physical, its not pity or empathy, or friendship, or kindness.... its kind of a silent mental connection lined with love and validation... </font>

((((((((((SerenityWave))))))))))

[EJ711]

Dear Serenity,

It sounds like your husband is not as emotionally expressive as you would like him to be.

When your needs are not being met, it takes discipline to not look elsewhere. But as you've learned it's not the answer.

I don't know what to tell you, but I understand, and will pray for more emotional intimacy in your marriage.

Hugs,

EJ

[Sabrina]

"its kind of a silent mental connection lined with love and validation... "

I understand this so well.

(((serenity)))

[SerenitysWave]

<font color="purple"> Thank you esthersvirtue for the hugs... thank you fayerody for uplifting wings....Thank you Ej for the prayers and tHank y ou Sabrina for the understanding... I really appreciate you all!

I wonder at the same time if its fair to find emtional fullfillment in someone else and not within, but is it even possible to be self fullfilled emotionally??? If so , how??? </font>

Hi Serenitywave,
A doctor can only advise/medicate and operate on a patient-but a doctor cannot heal them.
No matter which doctor or how much the doctor does -if the patient doesn't participate by healing themselves then all the doctors efforts are basically worthless.

I hope you find it within yourself to find that fulfillment.
It's what I'm working on myself.
(((((Serenitywave)))))