Do You Loathe Life??

InfiniteSadness · Jan 24, 2013, 11:38 PM

I was wondering if this was depression or a real feelings/'the real me'... I can honestly say I hate life for the most part- I can't understand how some people are actually ''happy" or positive.. Its almost like FOREIGN for me to feel that way- it never lasts long. Maybe i'd rather be miserable cause i'm so used to it. i dont know anymore..

Jan 25, 2013, 12:20 AM

It seems like I've felt down so much that I would not know how to handle being happy. I feel very content with what I have in my life but it seems like when comes to the social aspect of my life, I am miserable. I know that people cannot always make life better for me, but it does help when to have nice people in life.

Around me it seems like all the people that I know have good friends and family. I feel like I'm the only one that has neither. Lately it has been so difficult for me to make and keep friends. Also my family is just not connected. We live far apart and we have very little meaningful contact with each other.

I only have one friend and he's someone I'm not crazy about. I would like to get rid of him if I could. He makes me cringe more than he makes me feel good about myself.

I just read on another site of a guy who made a comment that lonely people tend to attract bad quality people and psychos. I feel like I'm lonely and bad people are drawn to me. I find that very depressing.

There are people at my job that say that I seem like a very happy person.
They really don't know me very well. A couple of people that know me very well would not think that. I may appear to be very happy to most people at where I work, but it's very much an act. Also, I feel like my job requires that or I would get let go.

The Friend · Jan 25, 2013, 12:32 AM

Hi,
I too feel pretty lonely. Would be glad of some company!!

GreyThinker · Jan 25, 2013, 01:47 AM

Yes pretty much.

InfiniteSadness · Jan 25, 2013, 03:02 AM

I don't think medicine or therapy can solve this.... as much as it can help.. i think some people are born this way or turned this way perhaps... sigh

allimsaying · Jan 25, 2013, 08:01 AM

Sometimes we need to feel our feelings. Its those feelings that drive us to think about what brought us into depression and give us direction towards finding our way out. They can sure feel sucky though. Forcing ourselves to feel positive always feels fake until we have worked through the issues making us feel so crappy. As you make progress you may have some days when it actually feels real to feel good and this will definitely feel strange if you are more used to feeling down.

optimize990h · Jan 25, 2013, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InfiniteSadness

I was wondering if this was depression or a real feelings/'the real me'... I can honestly say I hate life for the most part- I can't understand how some people are actually ''happy" or positive.. Its almost like FOREIGN for me to feel that way- it never lasts long. Maybe i'd rather be miserable cause i'm so used to it. i dont know anymore..

I understand what you are feeling and I feel happy because I had moments of feeling happy. I try concentrate on the passing moments of happiness I have had in the past. I understand that it does not last very long, but my focus whenever I can are those good moments. Yes, I am miserable sometimes, but I push myself to let the negative go and keep the positive.

Sadley · Jan 25, 2013, 08:50 AM

Yes, I do. I am disgusted with life, I definitely don't understand happiness. Sometimes I get tricked into laughing once or twice, but I still feel sad inside. I think you're onto something when you said "Maybe i'd rather be miserable cause i'm so used to it. i dont know anymore.." I think there is some part of us that clings to it.

Like will19 said, I too wouldn't know how to handle happy, I feel emotionless and dead all the time.

optimize990h - you've got the key down, you have to somehow push through it to stay positive, but that is the problem, at least for me, I feel like there is no point to anything, so why try to be happy? I have no motivation to do anything.

Jan 25, 2013, 08:51 AM

yes... i'd say i loav life

i can never have the lost years back, never

and their's so much damage... both physical and mental, that i can't see the point of it anymore

allimsaying · 01:24 AM

While it may be true for you that you loathe life, today, without intending it, you taught me to appreciate life, for all its good and bad. Today you made me aware of something you may not have intended. People all around me are feeling different things. If you had not posted I may not have known what some people are thinking. Its sad that some feel the way you do. But then, some people are being themselves when doubting or being cynical. Its a social necessity.

RJ78 · Jan 26, 2013, 11:18 PM

I know for me I can go a very long period where everything seems hopeless, even past memories that were happy at the time seem so incredibly sad because I can't access the joy anymore. But then when it lifts, I can see how my negative thought patterns and emotions are a symptom of my illness, they're not who I am, they're not my personality. They're a symptom of an illness, just like all illnesses have symptoms (some more severe than others and impacting individuals often in very different ways). When my therapist first explained this to me, it was a huge relief, I had basically convinced myself that how I felt was how I would continue to feel, it was who I am. Nothing could be further from the truth.

RJ78

TheRealFDeal · Jan 27, 2013, 01:28 AM

Absolutely. Life has nothing to offer me but pain and sadness.

InfiniteSadness · Jan 28, 2013, 02:01 AM

sorry, i think i might mention a lot of it has to do with hating myself and feelings of apathy

allimsaying · Jan 28, 2013, 08:08 PM

I think you could learn to un hate yourself, even overcome apathy, but, if you don't, I suppose they are the characteristics that could come to define who you are to yourself or others. Hatefulness and apathy are characteristics of personality but they are not the whole personality. They might be the dominant ones. I think you can shape how you are defined and define yourself.

I used to have those feelings but I dont anymore.

hopefulhuman · Jan 28, 2013, 08:15 PM

I have these days and when I do I no longer just sit there and think about it. I have to move about and excersize those demons. I downloaded a home workout program and use that as a release. It's scary that tommorow I could feel like this. Just got to keep fighting.