[jegsu01]

I have been told be many that I am important, that I am someone, but I am having trouble seeing that. I see myself as a nobody, that what I have to say or the ideas I have are not important. I struggle with this everyday. I let people walk all over me and I have a lot of trouble saying no to people.

I feel that I am the only one that deals with this issue and I don't have away out. My depression is like riding a roller coaster, one day I am fine and able to function and then the next day I struggle to function and my depression is severe that nothing seems to work.

[carrie_ann]

hi jegsu01

it sounds to me like you have major self-esteem issues, part of which is finding it hard to say no to people ... maybe you think they only like you for what you can do/give or that's how you measure you're own worth? i'm like that, i can't say no without feeling guilty for letting folks down or worrying they wont like/value me any more. and what am i worth if i can't be there for folks, even when they're never there for me. assertiveness training and cbt helps.

and describing your emotions as a rollercoaster and changing daily ... it could be severe depression (which i have) but it could also be bipolar (which i also have) ... but only a psychiatrist can say.

i don't know you so have no idea what your situation is with meds or therapy or family/friends support but you are definitely NOT a nobody and deserve as much peace and happiness as anyone else.

i'm sorry i don't know what else to say, just wanted you to know someone cares

["Tilly may"]

I struggle with one day being fine and the next day dragged down with depression too. However Im not sure why you think that you arre a nobody. Everybody is somebody. We are all just people. Even famous people are just people. Dont let anyone tell you different.
You are somebody! You have thoughts and ideas and all sorts of facets of personality. You count just like i do.
hugs
Cyn

[jegsu01]

Originally Posted by carrie_ann

hi jegsu01

it sounds to me like you have major self-esteem issues, part of which is finding it hard to say no to people ... maybe you think they only like you for what you can do/give or that's how you measure you're own worth? i'm like that, i can't say no without feeling guilty for letting folks down or worrying they wont like/value me any more. and what am i worth if i can't be there for folks, even when they're never there for me. assertiveness training and cbt helps.

and describing your emotions as a rollercoaster and changing daily ... it could be severe depression (which i have) but it could also be bipolar (which i also have) ... but only a psychiatrist can say.

i don't know you so have no idea what your situation is with meds or therapy or family/friends support but you are definitely NOT a nobody and deserve as much peace and happiness as anyone else.

i'm sorry i don't know what else to say, just wanted you to know someone cares

Knowing that I am not alone in my feelings helps alittle. I am seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist, but when it comes to family/friends support I don't have that.
Thank you for caring.

[BLUEDOVE]

Hi Jegsu,
You may not know it,but this is
deadly serious if you do not do something
to change. Your problem is absence of any
self-esteem,and no wonder you get depressed,letting people walk all over you!
That is not a judgmental statement,
because I was like you,and it is a terrible
"non-life" and so humiliating and degrading. I used to be (unconsciously)
into "Pleasing Behavior" because I did not get any love or affection as a child;
so we in effect,we make the rest of the
world into parents,and try to get them to
like us by this pleasing behavior,which
leads others to treat us like dirt.

I have made vast improvements over the
last couple of years,through lifting my
self-esteem,and having the courage to
stand UP for myself.
If you would like
further info on the subject,message me,
I'll help all I can.
Deepest Respect,
BLUEDOVE

[andrea2135]

I too, often feel the same way as you. So many people care for me and tell me I'm important, but all I see myself as is worthless and a failure. The depression is a vicious cycle. I also have the rollacoaster days, weeks where some are good and some are bad. All I can say is make sure you have a plan have a good therapist and maybe sign yourself up for groups. When I was going I was attending DBT groups and when I was utilizing the skills I could at times help regulate my emotions. And, I was feeling a lot better about myself. I hope you feel better.

[Leed]

I used to struggle with people walking all over me too -- especially family members. But I finally decided I'd had enough. I wasn't going to allow it anymore.

You're just as good as anyone else -- and what you have to say is just as important as anyone else!! If YOU FEEL that what you have to say is not as important, those are YOUR feelings, not anyone else's. You have to change the way you feel about yourself. Other people don't feel that way.

I had trouble with family members needing me to help them with money issues. I finally was just honest with them and told them I couldn't afford it. Previously, I'd give them the money anyway - taking it out of my savings and giving it to them, when I really didn't want to deplete my savings. I won't do that anymore. They just don't get it. Simple as that. It would have to be a matter of life and death before I'd do that again. The same goes for taking them someplace. I'm disabled, and driving any length of time is difficult for me, so I won't do that either. If they get mad, so what? They'll get over it. And if they don't, oh well.

You don't have to be walked on, unless you allow it. Like the saying goes -- You can't be a doormat unless you lay down. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[f.reliant]

You've gotten some really good advise. Not much to add to. Just be aware that as you start to change and stand up for yourself that people will resist your changes. After all, they've benefited in someway by taking advantage of you. Its human nature to respond this way. Don't feel bad or guilty when you assert yourself. Time to get off the roller coaster and enjoy a more pleasant ride.