What have others said or done to try to "fix" you?

This probably could fit into many forums, but I picked this one because depression is my main issue. Anyway--many of us have had people say or do things in an attempt to "fix" us.

My list:
1. When I was 37, my oldest sister tried to pressure me to learn how to quilt and wear dresses more, thinking that if she could "turn me into a lady," I would feel better.
2. People telling me I was just being too hard on myself.
3. People telling me, "It's probably something in your diet."
4. "Have you ever considered just moving to a bigger city?"
5. "Maybe it's time for you to learn how to drive."
6. "Maybe you could get a job at a daycare? THAT'S an easy job."
7. "You're just ungrateful."
8. (people from my AA groups): "Get a spnsor," or "You haven't worked the steps."
9. "Drink less coffee; drink more water."
10. my oldest sister conatantly badgering me to see what if I have any plans for the day
11. my other sister trying to "rescue" me from my oldest sister, and telling me that I just need to stand up for myself
12 . being told that I just need to "express my feelings"

Sorry for such a wierd post, but I guess I still need to vent.

My therapist suggested that I "need a cause".

I can barely get out of bed in the morning. I spent years rescuing horses and taking care of other people and it killed me. I cracked from the stress of it all.

Yeah, I need another cause like I need another hole in the head.

Yeah I know what you mean.

"Think of the suffering children of Africa."

So I did. It saddened me!

LOL.

Wow I heard at least 4 of the same things in the last two days. Understand the sister always telling me what I'm not doing right. My t said moving would be an anseer. U can't run from your problems.

My mom is always asking me to move "home" with her. I'm 40 years old and she is one of my biggest problems!

I can so relate to that.

"You need to take up bridge."

Huh?

Smile.....

1. "You don't need to see no head doctor. There is nothing wrong with you!" (at the time I was a senior in high school, lost my father a few months prior, been dealing with 2 years of untreated depression, sleeping 12-14 hours a day, and didn't really like life. )

2. I had an uncle who made me wash dishes the day I got out of the hospital for admitting myself because I didn't feel safe from myself. (I washed 2 dishes, then got so angry I throw a plate across the kitchen, and then went to sleep. I think he had good intentions by making me do something and occupy my mind, but dishes are not a cure for depression.)

3. Being told what I'm feeling I shouldn't, so pretty much setting up a scenario of me ignoring what I felt. (My feelings my be exagerated or skewed, but I still have to acknowledge they exist. I can say it's not raining outside, but it doesn't mean that is it not actually raining out.)

4. Telling someone what is going on and how you are feeling and then getting, "Oh...well..I don't know what to say", or you try to confide in someone and then they tell everyone else what you said.

The most common ones I've heard directed towards me by family:

'You've got nothing to be depressed about.'
'Just get over it.'
'You're too young to be depressed.'
And the one that takes the cake for me and is guaranteed to start an angry pissing contest:
'You think you're depressed? Well I have {insert plethora of crappy things here} and I'm fine. You're just whining and lazy.'

That was, unfortunately, about as 'helpful' as my family tried to be and about as far as most of them went to try and help me. I was lucky that my mother, father, and step-father actually helped me seek medical attention when they could.

When i was still living with my husband he would bring me a bottle of wine whenever i was particularly low and say "here you are this always makes you feel better"! True it did take away some of the pain but he was half the problem anyway. Also i kept asking him not to do that since i disliked using alcohol as a crutch and liked it way too much and was really worried about adding alcoholism to my list of problems. He just never did get it :-(

Trying to sell me on thier program of what they think I needed. I wanted to be myself not some programmed automated robot. I was pretty resistant to it but in hindsight I probably missed some good coping skills.

My personal favorite was when my husband said, "Snap out of it! You are this family." Like what!?

Oh, I've gotten that one quite a bit.

For me it has been mostly, "C'mon, it's not that bad" or "You've got nothing to be depressed about" like Sivol said, and "There are a lot of people out there that have things worse than you". Honestly, I don't think I can be "fixed" of my depression because once its there, it seems like I wouldn't ever be able to erase the thoughts or the sadness I have now, unless someone invents the memory zapper thing from Men In Black, but even then, my chemicals in my body would still be there to bring me down.

And yes, there are lots of people out there that I'm sure have things worse than me, there are horrible things that go on in the universe. I can't live in a place such as this.

That meds and designer clothes would help my issues following death of my father (I was 10). (by shrink)

That I should drop out of school, maybe it's too stressful. (another shrink)

that there's meds for that (by few friends and sadly they meant well :/)

that not watching war movies and watching romantic comedies instead would help me (friend)

that find a man would solve ALL my problems

"Just have a few drinks..."

-That "I needed to pray to my guardian angel"; my super-Catholic 7th grade bus driver, after she had noticed that I often seemed "sad".

-that I wasn't depressed, because I hadn't gained a significant amount of weight (despite the fact that I was binging every day) and my sleep wasn't really, really disturbed. I just needed to pursue less stressful activities and stop striving for excellence so much. -social worker I saw when I was 16

-"That's just the devil talking!"- my mom, during the same episode when I was 16 and describing how desperate I felt.

"You need to read your bible"- my mom again, when I was a child and very angry.

Oh, yeah, I know what you mean on that one! When I first applied for disability, one worker I spoke to on the phone told me< "But you'rE not really depreesed," just because I wasn't blubbering on the Phone.
I have also heard:
"Do you read your Bible everyday?"
"This is a sign that you need to be in church"
"You broke your covenant with God"
"Are you paying your tithes?"
"Just curl your hair and wear some mascara; you'll find yourself a man." (like what?)
"You're ungrateful"
"You're jealous of my cousin" (WTF???)