Positive memories of people trying to help.

I've been glancing through these and been on a mental roller coaster ride trying to navigate through the various memories of family members being entirely unable to comprehend what depression is and what not to say. I have noticed something though. When I think back on my immediate family and about what they've done or said relating to my depression, I am pleasantly surprised.

My father, when I was a teen, was the first one to see any signs of depression. He told me flat out that he was starting to think I had depression, and then called my mother a state over to inform her. At the time I just dismissed him, but it turned out he was right.

Over the years my father, mother, and step-father have been the most supportive of me. Granted they don't always understand the things I am going through, and sometimes they didn't say things that were helpful at all, but they did support me and they did take me to several different psychiatrists and psychologists. They recognized that even though they didn't understand everything that was happening with me and that sometimes they said things that were not helpful in the least, that I needed help and they sought out that help from someone who could.

Overall I would have to say that I am insanely glad to have had the parents I did. They've helped and they've hindered, but I can honestly say that without their help, I would be a completely different person today.

______________________

I want to hear your stories. I want you to dig back in the recesses of your mind and locate that one person, or small group of people, who really tried to help even if they didn't understand it all too well.

My sisters have both been very supportive and understanding. At first my older sister wasnt but then she became aware of several of her own problems and that made her a lot more empathetic. My younger sister is carrying a heavy load. During the past few years Ive seen her slipping a little and we've started talking more about it.

I could never admit it to my dad. At last a few years ago I told him because I felt I was doing well enough to talk with him about it. His reply was 'some people never survive that depression'. It was enough that I knew he wasnt judging.

My mom just kinda looked out the window. No comment but she didnt try to tell me I was wrong to feel sad. She has her own troubles.

I had one good non therapist friend who, after 20 some years of depression said, 'man, im sorry you felt that way.' What a relief to hear that!

Thanks for this Sivol. I think we need to look at the positive things to dig our way out.

I'm super fortunate that I've had several very supportive people in my life. My brother is a rock. I share my deepest and some of my darkest thoughts with him and he doesn't judge. He listens and brainstorms ideas with me and is always available.

My Mom and Dad are also strong supports. I'm still sad that my Mom, who in my estimation lived forty years deeply depressed following domestic abuse as a child, and I cannot talk more openly about our shared symptoms. But she wants to be my Mom, so I do my best to let her support me when I'm in need. My Dad, well, he has learned not to judge and just sit with me if that's what I need.

My best friend also suffers from depression, so we sort of talk about our symptoms a lot and often laugh about it, sort of make fun of ourselves, but only when it's not raw. I don't really do that with anybody else. One of my exes, the one I was with when I first got severely depressed and whose heart I tore into hundreds of pieces (can you hear that guilt!), is now one of my besties and I can talk with her openly about my depression, because she has seen me at my absolute worst more than anybody else. I can't believe we're friends, but at the same time, it's just so lovely it brings tears to my eyes that she continues to stick by me. She has found a man who she totally loves and I'm really happy for her. I have another good friend who also suffers from depression and has lost a brother to it as well, and she is super supportive. Unfortunately, all of these people live elsewhere, which adds to the feelings of isolation I sometimes feel.

Thanks for starting this thread, it's nice to write out my support network.

RJ

Thank you both for sharing. I hope to see more posts on this thread sometime soon.

I think its tough getting many people to see the positive Sivol. I hope more will add too. If they dont, dont take it personal. Your thought is well intended.

I was thinking earlier about one therapist I had. Then I remembered another one. Both saw me at reduced rates, or for free. That was really nice of them.

One of my therapists was a good memory for me. When I started talking to her, I was really messed up with depression and being very sui, self harming, etc. She was the first person that made me feel like I wasn't insane, and I was just trying to cope with all of the overwhelming feelings I couldn't understand at the time. She was very easy to talk to, almost soothing in a way, and didn't judge me. I found a lot of strength in talking to her, and she gave me the courage to look inside myself and figure me out. She gave me a sense hope for the future.

I felt like there were some people in the past that tried to help me. I didn't say "I suffer from depression" to them. But they were trying to be helpful and they were at where I work.

Sad to say, all of those who were helpful and uplifting to me when I was down are no longer there. I don't have much means in contacting them now. Sometimes when you are with others in a tight-knit place, then it's not the same when they are not closeby anymore. There's no one closeby that are helpful to me now.

my best support person was/is my former teacher. i know that he is the only one i can really trust and openly talk to. he over the past 2 years has been willing to have numerous heart-to-heart conversations with me. even the topic of my self-injury has not been off limits. plus he has NEVER divulged anything i confided in him to my parents or anyone else. it was also really amazing of him to share personal stories from his past, about him, and even some stuff about his now wife. him talking to me and sharing personal things like i'm not just a dumb student makes me feel good and really trust him. he has even been willing to email me when i needed to during the summers etc.

without him, i know that my life would be a lot worse now.

-- Sam

I'm happy to hear that you have a positive influence like that. I struggled with self harming for a while and I didn't have anyone to talk to until I found a good therapist.