Someone Taking Care of Me

About a year ago I was hospitalized for cancer surgury.
I had muscle and some bone removed from left upper arm.
When I was there the nurses and staff really did a good job.
I felt they really cared about me.

I know that's their job.....but I felt kinda like a little kid must
feel after a nightmare or fall....that Mommy is going to make
it all better.

I was thinking about this today.
I feel that I 'm non -existent most of the time.
That no body really gives a hoot if I am here or not.

My best friend passed a few years ago.
She was the last of the bunch of us.
Now there just is nobody.....just me.
No calls to chat or see how I feel.
No cute cards sent back & forth.

If it weren't for the highway down below me in the valley...
I 'd think the world was gone.

I know I 'm just feeling 'sorry for myself '. But I miss that
relationship. Knowing there 's someone to hold onto.

Being homebound I don 't get among people.
I have a caregiver 3x a week.
Someone from my church used to come to see me once a week.....
but not now. Don 't know why.
I had an email penpal for a few years but she 's gone now too.

I joined this group hoping I'd have people to talk to with
problems/troubles like me.....depression and such.
I am sure you all are wonderful people.
But so far I still feel invisible.
My fault most likely.

Hmmmmm......maybe I need more cancer surgury.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I think about this issue a lot - why can't we have a society where people have a sense of community founded on making sure people are taken care of? And feel taken care of (just like when you're in the hospital!)?

And I'm not just complaining - I think society must evolve toward this, though. Must.

I'm sorry you feel like this too!! It's the pits feeling lonely and invisible
Why not try and get some more pen pals?
Can you arrange a group at your house through the church?
Make the masses come to you x

Hi summerbreeze

I like what the others have said. It really does suck feeling invisible. Im sorry youve felt that way too. Keep posting and people will get to know you. There really are some great people here.

Hi Summer,

Yeah, that sounds like a tough situation. Are you able to reach out to people in some way to start to build the type of community you're looking for? It seems to me that there must be other people near you who have similar experiences and may be very open to hanging out with you at your place regularly.

RJ

I have tried to begin an email friendship. It seems to go OK for awhile.
But not everyone has the time.
That and some don't understand the emotional problems.

That's one reason I joined this group.
To talk with others going thru this thing called depression.

I have also tried (in the past) to begin some sort of outreach for people
that are homebound, alone, confused, afraid.
The holidays bring out organizations to help with toys - food - coats.....but for
families.
There doesn't seem to be anything for the elderly - homebound - or such.
They need sweaters - blankets - personal items - food & yes, Teddy bears.

Most of the time I had no success.
I could gather a few things on my own.....give to those in serious need.
Even if I send boxes of all the books I 've read thru the year.
I used to make shawls or quilts....can 't anymore.

When the holiday is past....like now.....it 's a frustrating painful thing to try
and find help.

My power bill gets high.....I have no way to pay.
My wood gets low.

There are programs, yes...but their funding only goes so far.

And charities don 't provide a friend.

I like to think I 'm a fairly intelligent person.
Personable.
But up here on my hill I 'm easy to forget.

I believe in God. Love animals, books......pizza.
I am just unable to go outside my yard. Safer in my house.
Agorophobic.....Social Anxiety.....I don 't feel safe away from home.
A bit eccentric....I talk to spiders...carry on conversations with my birds...

Native Americans highly respect their elders. They are treated
very well. Taken care of. The whole village loves them.
Most Indian beliefs still hold to that too.
So do the Asians....Hispanic.....

My caregiver is Hispanic. She cares for me wonderfully.

I don 't know.....
Us old, lonely, crazies are out of luck I guess.

Oh...I 've tried to find another church that I would enjoy.
Most don 't really like sending out someone to share very often.
My caregivers boyfriend's brother -in -law is the pastor of his church.
He 's willing to come talk.
(It 's a Hispanic Church)
We 'll see.

I thank you all.
I will try and join in more.
It 's difficult when you 're new.....

It is Summerbreeze but dont give up. I think you fit right in here with us. Many of us are facing feelings of loneliness at one time or another so its ok to ask for some sympathy or comradeship, whatever you call it. Theres lots going on at PC. Have you explored the site much? Theres a games section, forums for current events and a spirituality section too. Poke around in all of them, theres friendly, understanding people everywhere. Keep trying.

Hi there. I was mostly housebound for a number of years, and the Internet saved my sanity. I am now back in good health and have a life--working and going to school and such--but a great deal of my social life is still in cyberspace. I prefer using forums to one-on-one emailing, and I *hate* chatrooms.

It is very difficult to keep sane in the absence of companionship. I am fortunate in that I'm married and we also had a housemate/my caregiver during my time of illness, but that was still far from enough human interaction for me.

I am alone, in constant pain, anxiety and depression. I only leave my chair that looks out on a barren wasteland of snow. Walking across a room is the best I can do. That is in pain. My family and friends are no longer communicating. My family doctor tells me no doctor will treat my disease. My pain doctor says there is nothing to do to help the pain. Through over 30 years being ignored by friends and family because of mental illness I had a wonderful doctor and care. When they discovered I couldn't tolerate any meds, they trained me to live in spite of it. Now chronic pain from advanced osteoarthritis is killing me. This time there is no one to help me cope. Your thread struck a cord. Thank you, Summerbreeze, for your thread.

Summerbreeze, I believe you have found a good place here for at least some sort of social contact. I've only been on here a few days but I find it as a great emotional release point. No one here knows me face to face and I can express my feelings without the shunning judgement I would get if I did the same face to face with the people of go to church with or some of my friends.

There are lots of people who find comfort in that feeling of being cared for. I think it is just human nature.

I think you'll find this to be a great outlet for you and when you are able to share your wisdom with others to help then along the way you will feel as though you've just received a double portion of "all better now"