[WiShEs.Of.ThE.hEaRt]

Its Valentine's Day and I have a boyfriend that I'm completely in love with, but for some reason I'm just not in the mood for this day. I've actually been dreading it for the past couple days. Lately I haven't felt myself like I 'm not motivated to do anything. And I should be the happiest person right now because I just passed my drivers test and I bought my first car! But for some reason I feel like everyone is against me. And my car is a yellow banana colour and everyone just keeps making fun of it. (And it bothers me because this is the first thing that is actually MINE.) I don't even know how to describe what I feel I guess I just feel lost. Like I don't belong and I'm really moody. It all started when I started taking driving classes. (I'm cyber schooled. And the reason I'm doing that Is because of the bullying and anxiety from the actual school. And when I'm back in a class room for my driving classes I just feel like that all over again.) My boyfriend tells me that I shouldn't worry about what other people think of me that he loves me and thats all that matters, but I don't know. I just can't get passed it...

[spycy]

Your car sounds awesome! Congrats on getting a license and quickly getting a car. That's a huge accomplishment you should be super proud of. I think people are just teasing you about the colour and you should try not to take them too seriously; it's much more likely that they are envious than actually trying to bring you down, and even if they were, screw em, you're the one achieving things!

Just try to enjoy your bf's company because he sounds very sensible and caring. Keep your chin up, I'm optimistic for you

[Rohag]

Interesting. Even though you are in a good relationship, Valentine's Day holds dread for you. Thank you for posting this, WiShEs.Of.ThE.hEaRt; you are not alone.

Clinical depression/anxiety mean one has diminished capacity to actualize all the "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts."

[GreyThinker]

Hi there! Sometimes when we have a run of depression or insecurity we find it really hard to accept that good things are actually happening, or we might even reject them when they do because we are, deep down , a little afraid of happiness. Could this be what is happening with you?

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by WiShEs.Of.ThE.hEaRt

Its Valentine's Day and I have a boyfriend that I'm completely in love with, but for some reason I'm just not in the mood for this day. I've actually been dreading it for the past couple days. Lately I haven't felt myself like I 'm not motivated to do anything. And I should be the happiest person right now because I just passed my drivers test and I bought my first car! But for some reason I feel like everyone is against me. And my car is a yellow banana colour and everyone just keeps making fun of it. (And it bothers me because this is the first thing that is actually MINE.) I don't even know how to describe what I feel I guess I just feel lost. Like I don't belong and I'm really moody. It all started when I started taking driving classes. (I'm cyber schooled. And the reason I'm doing that Is because of the bullying and anxiety from the actual school. And when I'm back in a class room for my driving classes I just feel like that all over again.) My boyfriend tells me that I shouldn't worry about what other people think of me that he loves me and thats all that matters, but I don't know. I just can't get passed it...

I agree with spycy: the others might be jealous. And for some reason, some people just like to be mean and spiteful. As long as YOU like it and are happy with, that's all that matters. But I know it's hard when people are giving such a bad time.

[lonelyemotionalgirl]

I think that having a yellow car is awesome! Also, it is normal to not be in the mood for Valentines Day. I am engaged and my Valentines Day wasn't that great, and I was not really looking forward to it either. It's just another day I guess! Also, school creates major anxiety for me as well, and bullying definitely sucks. It's really hard for me to make friends. In elementary, middle, and high school, I only had a few friends. I am now in my senior year of college, and I don't have any friends there. I don't understand why people are so cold, especially to really nice people. I bet you are a really nice, caring person. Many people take advantage of nice people, and it sucks. I know it is hard to stop caring about what other people think of you, because knowing that people are stuck up and enjoy bullying creates an uncomfortable feeling. At least you have a nice boyfriend that you can talk to, and you can always message me to talk. I know how hard it is to deal with people, especially the ones that bully. I guess my only advice is that when you are feeling lost, write down the things that make you smile, and write down three things that are great about you, such as being a good driver, or being a great girlfriend. I am here for you.

[WiShEs.Of.ThE.hEaRt]

GreyThinker; I do think I am afraid of happiness. Every time something fun, or amazing news comes up it always some how doesn't happen. (For example. My parents and me were supposed to go on a Cruise in March. I didn't even try to be happy about it cause I knew it wasn't going to happen. And sure enough we cancelled the cruise.) And now me and my mom are supposed to be going to Chicago for a baby shower (the same time we were gonna go on the cruise.) and I just feel like I shouldn't get excited for it just in case it doesn't happen... (This has gone on my entire life. I get my hopes up and then it doesn't happen.) And a little example of this is a couple months ago I asked my dad if we could put an art room in the basement for me and he said yes we can, but the other day I heard him on the phone with my aunt and he wants to put a portrait studio in the basement for her. I can do my art in my room but the only reason I wanted it in the basement was because of just having a room to myself to do my art and just relax...