[Tac86]

I have recently(past 6months) gone through some things that have made me extremely sad and disappointed with myself making me feel terrible about myself. About 2-3 months ago I had a really bad anxiety attack on a family dive to Las Vegas. Ever since then things have gone downhill majorly. After Christmas I experienced problems with a friend and a girl I really liked, I think that was the last straw. I started experiencing intense anxiety, I would sit in my car after school and cry and go home after school get super angry then Benin tears...

Since then I've gone off the deep end, I have no values or cares anymore at all. I've started weed (something I would've never do) because it brings me some temporary emotion and happiness. Besides that, I do not have any emotion (in a more broad sense) . I feel no happiness, no sadness, nothing anymore. I feel as if nothing matters and literally, NOTHING in the world sounds fun. I feel like I have turned off the natural emotions of humanity, as once in awhile I get the feeling all these emotions are trapped deep inside and have me so overwhelmed that the only response is to not care about anything...

This whole feeling is awful, I don't want to be like this anymore. I want to experience joy again. I wanna know what it's like to cry (even though that sucks), I miss my emotions. Does anyone know what this is? DO NOT tell me to see a therapist because that will NOT HAPPEN. I just dunno what to do anymore...

Psychological blows such as the ones you've had recently can throw off the chemical balance of the brain. It's a serious depression that you are experiencing, in my view, and you've begun to self-medicate which is not going to restore the balance for you.

Why would you not go in and get that restored so that you can begin to work on your diet and other things to help you fully recover from what you've been through?

I can't tell you how quickly you can regain your health and happiness by getting the proper medical attention you need to have the chemistry restored. .

[H3rmit]

What do you do all day? I find changing routine helps - changing all the sensory inputs.

I've lived as you describe for a long time - anhedonia and I don't care. (No weed, just potato chips, though. Or used to be alcohol, but I don't do that any more.) Like walking dead.

Maybe being here and having people to connect with on serious topics will bring you some relief.

[Dreamer11]

One way for you to find out more about what you're going through is to do your own online research about emotional numbness. That might help you find some positive, non-damaging ways to deal with things.

However, it is important to remember that there is only so much we can control about our brain chemistry. It's incredibly complex. If you don't want to discuss personal issues with a therapist, then perhaps consider consulting with a psychiatrist just to understand what's going on with the chemistry. You'll be on better footing to make well-informed decisions about what you want to do from there.

[Tac86]

Thanks for the replies so far. I guess throughout my day I have some emotion as I don't just sit there and stare at school. I talk, joke around, flirt, and yes I have a lot of friends including some very good ones. But I only do this so I can pass the day. I would rather sit in a dark room and listen to music. I don't want to be deemed different or changed by society because of these feelings I am experiencing, I guess I kind of just assumed they'd pass.

Is it really possible for my brain to become chemically unbalanced? And what cause this to happen?

I'm generally a healthy person, but this winter I kind of have been eating terribly unhealthily after some sad things played out in my life. I'm also cross country runner and I have been unable to run this winter because of bad weather conditions. I don't know how much of a role this would play into all of this.

[H3rmit]

>I'm also cross country runner and I have been unable to run this winter because of bad weather conditions. I don't know how much of a role this would play into all of this.

I think this can TOTALLY on its own, cause the problems you have, not saying it did, but it would seem to be a very major contributing factor. When people have any kind of physical limitation, it can cause depression. It's common after surgery, etc, which is probably a main part why my year has been so lousy. H says I've been down ever since then. But I am getting back into some activity, and the winter is ending. Will you be able to get active again soon? You may not feel like it at first, but give it some tries when you can, I'd say. Ever had the runner's high? I got that a couple times when I ran a bit as a teenager a long time ago. I get a major endorphin boost from pumping iron. Nevermind just brain chemistry, your entire body chemistry changes. The sad events and bad eating contribute a lot as well.

Nothing wrong with sitting in a dark room listening to music, btw.

Originally Posted by Tac86

Thanks for the replies so far. I guess throughout my day I have some emotion as I don't just sit there and stare at school. I talk, joke around, flirt, and yes I have a lot of friends including some very good ones. But I only do this so I can pass the day. I would rather sit in a dark room and listen to music. I don't want to be deemed different or changed by society because of these feelings I am experiencing, I guess I kind of just assumed they'd pass.

Is it really possible for my brain to become chemically unbalanced? And what cause this to happen?

I'm generally a healthy person, but this winter I kind of have been eating terribly unhealthily after some sad things played out in my life. I'm also cross country runner and I have been unable to run this winter because of bad weather conditions. I don't know how much of a role this would play into all of this.

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You hit it on the head, in my view. Eating unhealthy foods is very capable of throwing off the chemistry balance of the brain if you are a sensitive person. Even stress is capable of doing that. There are almost unlimited things that can throw the chemistry of the brain out of balance.
That's why you need to speak to a specialist and have bloodwork done to determine if you are, in fact, in an unbalanced state chemically.