my brother is too anti-social; he wants to go to Internet High School!! This is not normal?!

my bro's got some real issues at school that he doesn't tell people about. I don't know what it is. Maybe he has no friends, maybe he gets picked on... i don't know. But he sees his counselor and she says that he is depressed. Medical help is recommended.

We are gonna have him see a psychologist soon but in the meantime should we let him drop school? If we don't, he'll go on a hunger strike, and most likely refuse to do his work. He goes to a private school so that's money down the tubes for my family if he doesn't do jack in school.

He wants to go to internet high school. Yes, internet high school. High school over the internet. Let me repeat, he wants to go to school through the internet. I think he's very antisocial. If he goes to internet HS, it'll be even worst for him in the long run. But in the short term, he's throwing temper tantrams and refusing to go to school, do his work, and going on hunger strikes. School is very expensive for him (5G's a year), and if he doesn't do his work, I say fvck it; let his loser ***** drop school.

As of now, we've already dropped him from private school. He wasn't doing well anymore. He was a 3.4+ GPA student doing really well but he's slacking off a lot. I'm waiting to hear from the "internet high school" enrollment counselor now.

how much do psychologists cost? How often do you see them and all that jazz?

this is the highschool he wants to go to:
http://www.laurelsprings.com/

most people I've talked to says he just needs a good scolding. Take away his computer, and force him to go to school. I dont know, but I do think my parents give him too much freedom. He sleeps like 8AM to like 6PM. He stays away like 6PM till like 8 in the morning. His sleep cycle is real messed up.

It's clear to me that you don't understand depression very well. It's not a case of him being a loser, its a case of him needing help - a lot of it. A "good scolding" is the last thing he needs right now. He won't just snap out of it. Punishing him by taking away stuff also isn't going to help - he's just going to withdraw more.

When I was depressed (I've dealt with it for 10 years), it caused me to have angry outbursts, to sleep all day, stay away from the people that love me and the people I love.

I would suggest you talk to his therapist or to some other health professional to get more information. You're not going to help him by being an insensitive *** about it.

some of it's magic
some of it's tragic
but i had a good life all the way......
~jimmy buffett

premiumg
WOW. I just wanted to say a couple of things in reply to your post. In regards to the internet high school I think it might be beneficial for you and your parents to look into what the school provides. As redicilous as the idea may seem, if you don't look into what the school aims to achieve and sucess rates you'll never know. I think surely they have to follow some guidelines and criteria if there actually classing themselves as a school. Maybe it might be better for him. I think he needs to sit down with you and your parents and you need to ask him why he wants to go to the 'internet' school and what he thinks he will gain from it. You may be suprised by his answers. Even if it helps only a little, you will get some idea how well he's thought this idea out. I loved school as a child.. just hated the people in school. I know how he feels about not wanting to go. If he is being bullied and has no friends it must be hard on him, being accepted is a big part of school life. I see you anger at his so called waste of money, but the money shouldn't really be an issue, after all I can sense you care about him you did after all come here seeking some help for him. As for your question about how much do therapists cost, i really wouldn't know sorry, others in here are bound to know. If he is depressed as his councellor says he is then I think that may have somethign to do with his sleep pattern - depressed people often have unusual sleeping pattens. When he is awake is his time spent completely on his PC? If it is perhaps he needs help there. The internet can be a powerfull addiction, thats a proven fact. I myself spend far too much time online. Anyway I think he really needs to go see someone and soon, keep us posted on how it goes along please. Maybe you can persuade him to come check this site out himself? Oh and you never said his age i don't think, how old is he?

x x x x Sparkle

Internet high school isn't that bad of an idea. Afterall it wouldn't be around if it were. I think you and/or your parents should talk to him about it first though, because once he starts getting into it, he most likely would be too scared to go back to normal high school. Also, private schools can be tough on a person. Maybe he just needs advice on how to get along with people. How much older are you from him, are you still in school?
-Audrey

my brother is 16 years old. I'm 23. Anyway, I think I was kind of bummed too during my high school years. I mean everyone is. When you're that age, everything is drama. Now when I look back, things weren't as bad as I had made them seen back in the days.

Anyway, I really don't know if he has any friends besides his online "e-friends." I never see him on the phone, talking, or hanging out with anyone. He's always watching anime or talking on AIM, or playing games, or sleep. Those are his daily activities. I really wished he played some sports or something cause I had suggested to him to do so.

Anyway, I'm not sure what to do about it. How much does therapy cost? Its really an issue for my family cause we don't have insurance and my parents think therapy is a waste of money. I think maybe we should check it out.

>>Anyway, I think I was kind of bummed too during my high school years. I mean everyone is. When you're that age, everything is drama.

premiumg if he is really suffering from depression or some other related illness, this is NOT the same as "being depressed". Clinical depression is NOT the same as the sadness that everyone feels from time to time as a part of life. From what you describe it is possible from his symptoms that this is a real problem. Only a therapist or doctor can diagnose him for sure. If he is clinically depressed or has social issues then treatment is available. Therapy and medications can help.

And if that is the case it shouldn't be a matter of money... if someone is ill you try to get them the treatment they need.

Maybe some research on depression is in order, to help you and your family understand and have a better idea as to this is applicable to him. There are lots of books and information on the web. Maybe take a look at what I wrote at http://www.idexter.com

Premiumg, your parents need to understand the seriousness of depression. It is a life-threatening mental illness. There's a good chance that your brother's excessive time on the computer, unusual sleep patterns, lack of friends, etc. are all symptoms of his depression, because depression causes one to want to withdraw from personal contact and causes sleep disturbances. His insistance on withdrawing from his school could also mean that he has an anxiety disorder or social phobia.

If your brother were my son, I would get him in to see a psychiatrist as soon as possible. A psychiatrist can prescribe medications for him and recommend the best course of therapy for him. He/she may want to conduct the therapy or may recommend a good therapist for your brother to see. As to the cost: My therapist charges $85 p.h for people with insurance, and about $60 an hour for those without it. My psychiatrist charges $75.00 for a 1/2 hour visit. If your family is paying $5,000 per year for his education, they probably can afford this. If not, then find out where your community mental health center is located and take him there.

Again, I want to stress that your family needs to take your brother's depression very, very seriously and get him the recommended treatment. He also needs patience and emotional support from you and your parents---and be sure he doesn't feel guilty about the $$ spent on making him well. Depressed people feel guilty a lot, and it makes the depression worse.

Please keep us posted on your brother. If you can get him to visit us here, that would be great, too. There are a lot of very caring people here who know how he feels and would be happy to offer him support.

My brother started having trouble dealing with things when he was in high school. He has always been extremely intelligent - taught himself to read by the time he was 4 years old, ... But he couldn't deal with high school. My mother used to force him into the car, and once they got to the school he refused to get out, so she went into the school to get someone to help her get him out of the car and into the school building. Eventually he dropped out of high school. It some time after that when he was diagnosed with schizophrenia and major depression.

Not everyone is able to deal with high school. Home school is a good option sometimes, for many reasons. An internet high school can be a way to get a structured education that colleges will recognize. Why not consider it? Sometimes kids know what is best for them.

And if the school counselor says that he needs medical help, he really should have an evaluation by a qualified professional. If he doesn't get the support that he needs, his problems will not go away. It only gets worse without help. It sounds to me like there are some significant problems, and I'm sure you will find it hard to hear, but the problem is not all with your brother. I hope that you can step back from your feelings and see that forcing him to keep doing something that doesn't work for him, or, as an alternative just drop out and disappear, really will not help anyone. I sincerely hope that your brother gets an evaluation and is given the opportunities that he needs in order to be able to succeed in life.

Have you heard Gordon Allport's definition of insanity? It is to persist in doing the same things that don't work and expect to get different results. I paraphrased, since I don't have it here in front of me, but doesn't it make sense? Try a new approach. Give your brother a chance and see if maybe he knows what he needs. He won't be the only person to attend an internet high school.

<font color=green>"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible" Carl Jung</font color=green>