I have become extremely anti-social and my job requires that I be social! Help!

I do computer technical support for a company where I am constantly required to face the users.

Years ago when I started doing this, I really enjoyed being around people. I liked to talk about this or that etc.

I thought that everyone around me was my friend.

Fast forward to 10 yrs later. I cringe when someone approaches me with a smile.

The first things that goes through my head are:

1) I am not your puppet or your toy.

2) I am not here to educate you on computers. This is what I went to school for, and what I am in debt for, so why should I teach you?

3) Don't ask me about your silly program. I didn't go to school for that. Would you ask an eye doctor about your stomach? No, then why would you expect me to know the answer, and further tell me "didn't you go to school for that?"

As you can see I am really irritated about people's attitude towards what they believe I should know, and the level of accomdation I should give them.

In this environment, a user is not procedurally permitted to address me directly concerning their issues. They must contact the helpdesk via phone and a ticket number is then assigned to me.

Lots of users seem to "forget" that, and try to task me with duty. I have been warned that I will be fired if I address a users issue without a ticket. I have been told to tell the users that if they insist on attempting to task me with duty without a ticket.

It is always fun to tell that to a user. I feel my face twitching with anger as I get to explain all the politics to the user and they just look at me like I am crazy.

I would have to say that alot of my anti-social thoughts stem from this:

In my experience, it is a GIVEN that if I have left an organization on good or bad terms (doesn't matter) that if I contact a former collegue or user, I will be ignored.

Experience is now a VERY POWERFUL factor in my life today. I feel irritated in being social with someone who comes across as personal and friendly only to find that they will invariably fall silent once you no longer work there.

Sorry for the rant, but I have identified this as something that I need to get over.

Please provide me with your thoughts.

Thank you.

I’m very sorry that you feel this way. I’m here to tell you it’s frustrating on this end too. Back in the day when a reformat took hours (10 ish years ago) I was sitting at my desk with a brand spanking new (less than 24 hours old) Gateway (back in the day they had good customer service) with an initial bad windows load. After a lot of run around I received your comment number 2. Which I must say did not make me happy and I replied “give me your supervisor” And I told him to come and get it. I paid for a top of the line computer with additional funds for “gold” technical support.

I’m sure that you’re awesome at your job, and there’s not a doubt in my mind that you get foolish questions, but it sounds like you’re in a service industry that requires you to give service with a smile. When you eat in the restaurant, the waitress did not cook your food, but she’s going to be the one that hears that your steak is raw when you asked for well done. I wonder how many times a day she’s asked if the fish is fresh. The customer service department did not itself lose my luggage, but they better tell me that they’re terribly sorry and that they’re doing everything humanly possible to find it.

Is there perhaps a branch of your occupation that you could work only with professionals? By the nature of your occupation, you’re only going to deal with unhappy customers. But perhaps you’ll get fewer silly questions dealing with professionals.

PERSONALITY disorders and work are hard to combine, aren't they? Sometimes it's easier to like others (and be nice to them) if a person feels good about himself first, don't you think? Work on liking yourself, do things for yourself to feel good, and see if that helps.

I do believe that you have both said the right thing.

For a variety of personal reasons, a career change would prove detrimental.

Thank you!

I couldn't help but reply......I feel, in my job, the phrase, "I am not your puppet or toy........" run through my feeble mind over and over....

.......................I am a waitress.....

It's like if you only knew your request for extra mayonnaise will set me back on my other 6 tables so much I will probably lose at least one tip and have one tip lowered it's like do you need the mayonnaise so bad you willing to jeopardize my income here!! Then there's ketchup- cannot you see there's always a bottle on the next table you could easily grab yourself!! I am so non picky with my food, I will eat anything and I do not comprehend the things they ask for but most of all the WAY they ask for it like they are my slave owner or something!!!

I only hope those of you that talk to waitresses with a harsh tone will see themselves here and add a little more pleases and thank you's.....

I admire your talent and ability, and I can’t even imagine being on the other side of the phone or internet when I’ve asked a stupid question. I did not know that there is a teeny tiny little switch on my computer that turns off my ability to connect to the internet or bluetooth. Try to think us as slightly touched.

But thanks for being there! I've been in a variety of service industry jobs (never could handle waitressing) and Junerain is right; more people need manners. But by the time we call you, we're already so angry and frustrated. Very few jobs can claim that amount of frustration on the part of their clients. Airline employees are the only others that come immediately to mine.

I meant mind

Your responses are priceless. I am learning to greet everyone with a smile. Different smiles can of course mean different things.

I am always smiling now.

So yesterday I was doing a printer inventory, and a new intern kept saying "excuse me, how do I kill a bee". I guess she thought that I worked for Orkin or something.

I thought about it for a second, my career flashed by me. All of the petty tasks that I have been given over the past 15 years flew by me.

With that, I killed the bee. The user never said thank you.

I advised the user that some cleanup was involved and left.

I am happy with the way I left it. The user looked at me like I was crazy and never said thanks before I came to my conclusion. I am not here to justify myself. I am here to share.

Have a great day.

LOL blkchr91, it has never occurred to me to have IT doing insect patrol! I would have said “oh a bee, I’m allergic, call me when the thing is dead and I’ll be back!”

It is obvious that you’re dealing with people with little no manners whatsoever! Do you have an office or a cubicle that is your own? A co-worker once dealt with this problem with the Bernstein Bears Book on Manners with “Please read” above it.

I am sorry. It's a bad place to be. My goes out to you.

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Years ago when I started doing this, I really enjoyed being around people. I liked to talk about this or that etc.

I thought that everyone around me was my friend.

Fast forward to 10 yrs later. I cringe when someone approaches me with a smile.

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I can identify with you. Working support jobs is a peculiar issue -- people only notice if I'm doing my job poorly or if they need something from me. When things work, no one realizes the work that goes on behind the scenes.

I have also felt a great sense of betrayal when coworkers I thought were my friends would no longer talk to me once I left the job.

Let me offer some practical advice, on ways that have helped me cope with the support world.

1. Get a hobby. Find your passion -- something you can do *outside* of work. When you spend all day working to solve other people's issues, it is important to balance that with something that nourishes who you are.

2. Seek some friendships that are not dependent on your job. This may tie in nicely with point 1 -- if you can find an activity that is fun that you can do with others and meet some new people.

3. In a moment of frustration, read some 'stupid user stories'. They are usually written by other support people, and are good for a laugh. Laughing is a great antidote to stress.

4. Brainstorm some responses you can use with employees who are pushing you do break the rules. For example: 'Would you like me to open a ticket about that?' or 'That is a great question.' (even if you know the answer.)

That way, if you rehearse ahead of time what you might say, it will be easier to say it when they are in your face.

When your needs are being met outside of the job, it becomes a lot easier to draw firm but polite boundaries with people in the office. The number one thing that helped me was creating an artistic outlet that was separate from my job. It gave me an identity that was separate from the office and one that wasn't all about solving other people's problems.


Owl

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blkchr91 said:
So yesterday I was doing a printer inventory, and a new intern kept saying "excuse me, how do I kill a bee". I guess she thought that I worked for Orkin or something.

I thought about it for a second, my career flashed by me. All of the petty tasks that I have been given over the past 15 years flew by me.

With that, I killed the bee. The user never said thank you.

I advised the user that some cleanup was involved and left.

I am happy with the way I left it. The user looked at me like I was crazy and never said thanks before I came to my conclusion. I am not here to justify myself. I am here to share.

Have a great day.

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Sounds like you're getting past it. I must admit I was one of those endusers who asked the tech a million questions while he was working on my problem....he probably got as angry at me as you do. Just remember you're not obligated to answer all of the questions, you're there to do a job and be as cordal as possible. Just remember the treat others as ou would want to be treated rule of thumb...and try not to scream

TJ