[adam_k]

The last couple weeks have been pretty miserable for me. Nothing is really wrong in my life, but I feel worthless and I am losing hope of being happy. I have been going to therapy and marriage counseling and my T advice is to talk to my wife about what I am feeling. I try doing that and sometimes it helps. I am worried she will get tired of hearing it and she will just give up on me. I feel so uselss. It hard to think and I feel exhausted. The meds give me sleeping problems and my doctor gave me some meds to help that too, but I am affraid to take it. The med she gave me is another antidepressent (trazodone). It is supposed to have a calming sedative effect. I am weary to take an antidepressant randomly for sleep. I didn't fall asleep until around 430 last night and I woke up at 7.

I am worried that my wife will get tired if hearing all the crap about how bad I feel. I feel like a black cloud of misery at the moment. I think about hurting myself too much, and I'm not sure why. It's nothing new and I couldn't do that to my wife. I just feel miserable and unable to cope with it at the moment. I just want to go home and sleep.

I was looking at my insurance and my current T isn't part of my health network. I can't afford to see her. It would he 500 a month out of my own pocket and I can't afford that at moment. My doctor also said she didn't want go keep changing my meds and is reccomending me to a psychiatrist. I feel angry at her and I don't want to have to deal with it. I just want to give up.

[Rohag]

Hello, Adam_K!

Originally Posted by adam_k

I am worried that my wife will get tired if hearing all the crap about how bad I feel.

On the one hand, depression messes with one's perceptions. On the other hand, you do know your wife better than your therapist. Could you safely discuss with her that very question - her own psychological tolerance for hearing what you're saying?

Originally Posted by adam_k

I was looking at my insurance...

The costs of treatment can easily become another burden on yourself and your marriage. You have to carefully weigh the value of certain forms of treatment against their possible negative effects, including financial. I certainly don't suggest you stop working on depression. You may need to find other ways of fighting.

Of the problems you mention sleep grabs my attention. My experience is no medication or combination of meds can make up for prolonged lack of sleep. I suggest making the restoration of quality sleep a priority.

Wishing you marital success despite depression.

[happy 2 b here]

Originally Posted by adam_k

The last couple weeks have been pretty miserable for me. Nothing is really wrong in my life, but I feel worthless and I am losing hope of being happy. I have been going to therapy and marriage counseling and my T advice is to talk to my wife about what I am feeling. I try doing that and sometimes it helps. I am worried she will get tired of hearing it and she will just give up on me. I feel so uselss. It hard to think and I feel exhausted. The meds give me sleeping problems and my doctor gave me some meds to help that too, but I am affraid to take it. The med she gave me is another antidepressent (trazodone). It is supposed to have a calming sedative effect. I am weary to take an antidepressant randomly for sleep. I didn't fall asleep until around 430 last night and I woke up at 7.

I am worried that my wife will get tired if hearing all the crap about how bad I feel. I feel like a black cloud of misery at the moment. I think about hurting myself too much, and I'm not sure why. It's nothing new and I couldn't do that to my wife. I just feel miserable and unable to cope with it at the moment. I just want to go home and sleep.

I was looking at my insurance and my current T isn't part of my health network. I can't afford to see her. It would he 500 a month out of my own pocket and I can't afford that at moment. My doctor also said she didn't want go keep changing my meds and is reccomending me to a psychiatrist. I feel angry at her and I don't want to have to deal with it. I just want to give up.

Hi Adam K

So sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. I have chronic depression, and know how it feels to have that black cloud around all the time. Living with depression is very tiring and the body does get weary .

I have been taking Effexor for over 7 years now, and it has helped tremendously . I also take alprazolam at night, and it does help me sleep through the night

I have never felt the need to talk about what I have with a therapist, as I just feel sad with the depression, but nothing else going on in my life contributes to my sadness. Does that make sense

I, too am married to a wonderful man who has lived with me through all of this for 45 years -- he has been a wonderful support for me -- I have also worried at times if I am being a burden. But, seriously, for me, the med has been all I need to keep me on track.

Keep in touch, and, please, take care. This is a terrific website for support and comfort

[*woundedhealer*]

Hello Adam_k,
I'm in the same boat with my wife. The way I see it is that if they truly love us, they will honor their vows, and love us in sickness and in health.

I took trazadone for a while. At first, I had the most vivid dreams I've ever had. But, I slept better than I had in months.
My P has taken me off it to try something new.

But, I wouldn't worry about taking the Trazadone. It has less dice effects than ambien, and it works.

woundedhealer7

Sent from my GS3.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by adam_k

The meds give me sleeping problems and my doctor gave me some meds to help that too, but I am affraid to take it. The med she gave me is another antidepressent (trazodone). It is supposed to have a calming sedative effect. I am weary to take an antidepressant randomly for sleep.

Adam, many medications are used for different purposes depending on dosage. Tradozone is an AD, but at high doses, and is not used widely these days for this purpose. At low doses, it is used for sleep, and is still used widely despite being a very old medication. It helped me sleep for a couple of years and then stopped working altogether. I would try it if I were in your shoes. Trying it would not hurt. It is not a benzo, so you would not have the dependency problems - it will either work or it will not work.

[beautifulfreak]

Hey Adam I can relate to everything you are saying. It is so hard and so tiring. You know yourself about my relationship situation too.

Just wondering, I don't know how things work where you are but is there any chance of seeing a 'low cost counsellor'? We have them here. Some people have found some good counsellors from this. Admittedly, the reason they are low cost is that they may just finished their degrees and are building up experience. However, they build up experience throughout the degree too. So, it's not as if they total novices.

I guess from your post that you don't have that option where you are? But just thought I would let you know anyway, just in case.

500 a month is unreal amount…is it Psychiatrist as opposed to a counsellor?

Adam, I hope you can work something out. Sorry if my post wasn't much use.

[NWgirl2013]

Hey Adam K ~ I vote you work on the sleep problem too. Getting that dialed in may make all the difference. Hammy says she took trazodone & it worked for a while. I can concur with that. I took it in addition to an antidepressant & it did work for a bit. It was worth it to me to get some sleep!

Long term depression seems to be a hit & miss science as we are all different. The one constant is that we all have to figure out what works for us to help ourselves cope day to day. I hope, with some rest, you can continue to work on a strategy for yourself that will get you through each day.

[doyoutrustme]

Can you submit a claim yourself? I have mine print a receipt and I get reimbursed.

[Big Mama]

Adam, you have been w/ your current T for a little bit now. If you trust her/him and it is helping it is priceless. Talk to the T about being unable to pay so much. Ours charges between 80-100 a visit, but after knowing we were staying w/ her she made it 50 a visit, which was still tough, our insurances covers some of the expence, but not nearly enough. We just got down to 30 a visit.

One of the T's I had kept a running tab, and I paid for 2 years as much as I could. I paid w/ change. My grandma would save her quarters for me. And I emptied my pockets into a jar at night, at the end of the month I had enough change to roll along w/ my grandma's quarters. The T also gave me a free visit for mothers day, for my birthday and such. There are ways around things if the T is willing to help.

The price of good T is absolutley priceless. I think of it this way, We would spend 1000 or so on vacation right, so skip the vacation and make your marriage a vacation you live with forever. IT is just money wizer spent.

Has your wife found a job yet. She might could help contribute if she has money left over after he student loans and necessities. Can you up grade your insurance even if it cost a little more could it off set the amount you pay your T. We pay the max on our insurance but just about every provider is covered. We reach our deductable faster that way and that gets the price down.

I hope you guys can figure something out, I and I hope the T helps you guys continue to grow.

[adam_k]

I talked to the therapist and her office sorted it out. They initially rejected the claim, but my T assures me she is part of thier network. I felt a little more hopeful. My wife did find a temporary job for the summer. Her aunt is paying her to watch her cousins over the summer. It is 800 a month and the aunt is going to help out with food too. It is enough to keep her loans up to date. Hopefully she can find steady job over the summer. Her cousins are 15 and 17 so she could still work and watch them.

I started taking the sleeping meds and I felt better after a good nights sleep. I think the viibryd gives me too much energy. Even getting two hours of sleep I wasn't tired the next day. I think my mind was just overworked and the viibryd gave me the energy to keep going. After getting some decent sleep I am started to feel better.

[beautifulfreak]

Hey Adam, Glad to hear that you were able to sort some things out regarding therapy and sleep too.

I have chronic insomnia and it is awful…it doesn't help mental or physical health. I got three hours sleep this morning, which I know is better than nothing but it wasn't a 'true sleep' as in I don't feel refreshed and find it hard to function. This has been the way most of my life. Majority of time no sleep or very little sleep and thus become very low-functioning. Even throughout College it was the same, mentally and physically. I am on sleeping tablets (long term) and on many different ones throughout the years.

Before anyone comments I do realise being on sleeping tablets long term is not considered a good thing. I have also tried the whole 'sleep hygiene' etc. Insomnia sucks eh!

So, I am happy to hear you had a good nights sleep.

[happy 2 b here]

Originally Posted by adam_k

I talked to the therapist and her office sorted it out. They initially rejected the claim, but my T assures me she is part of thier network. I felt a little more hopeful. My wife did find a temporary job for the summer. Her aunt is paying her to watch her cousins over the summer. It is 800 a month and the aunt is going to help out with food too. It is enough to keep her loans up to date. Hopefully she can find steady job over the summer. Her cousins are 15 and 17 so she could still work and watch them.

I started taking the sleeping meds and I felt better after a good nights sleep. I think the viibryd gives me too much energy. Even getting two hours of sleep I wasn't tired the next day. I think my mind was just overworked and the viibryd gave me the energy to keep going. After getting some decent sleep I am started to feel better.

Happy to hear that you are making progress -- so encouraging, don't you think -- sounds like you are heading in the right direction -- keep going