[Got Java]

Icant seem to get anything in my life in order or I just don't want to deal with my issues I been dealing with lately. Just when I think I am making progress one way or another I **** up something or piss off someone to get myself back to feeling depressed or self destructive.

I swear I don't know where I am going, but the path I am heading down seems to be really hard and challenging. I can't seem to get my life together and be happy with myself or anyone else. I don't know what to do and I can't stand to take the constant bull **** anymore with my state of mind. It's just too much to handle for anyone I don't want to deal with it at all.

I'm just really stuck and have no clue on how to make it any better.

[doggiedo]

I'm sorry you are feeling like this :/ I could have written this post myself. Is there something that you do enjoy or something you do find happiness in? I know what you mean in terms of feeling mad at yourself or getting someone else mad at you. It sometimes feels like you can't win, right?

I find that if I can do something that I used to, or have enjoyed in the past...like spending time with my dog, I find it refocuses myself. I still find that I question the point to things, my purpose for being here, etc....but sometimes it just makes me feel better, even if it's only a tiny bit.

I hope this helps. Are you talking to someone?

[fading99]

Originally Posted by Got Java

Icant seem to get anything in my life in order or I just don't want to deal with my issues I been dealing with lately. Just when I think I am making progress one way or another I **** up something or piss off someone to get myself back to feeling depressed or self destructive.

I swear I don't know where I am going, but the path I am heading down seems to be really hard and challenging. I can't seem to get my life together and be happy with myself or anyone else. I don't know what to do and I can't stand to take the constant bull **** anymore with my state of mind. It's just too much to handle for anyone I don't want to deal with it at all.

I'm just really stuck and have no clue on how to make it any better.

Wow, you sound so much like me. Doggiedo is right about trying to find something you like to focus on. Maybe a dvd, music, or watching shows you enjoy on the internet. I watch movies and tv shows on the internet to loose myself. And I have dozens of dvd's. Some people don't think its a good idea to watch a lot of movies, but everyone has to find relief somewhere. If I don't watch movies, or find something else to get lost in, I'll spend hours drifting down that black hole. And don't forget we're here. We know what you're going through, and we won't judge you. Depression is a piece of hell, and there's no pretty way dress it up. Please keep reaching out to us.

[wadingthruemotions]

Originally Posted by Got Java

Icant seem to get anything in my life in order or I just don't want to deal with my issues I been dealing with lately. Just when I think I am making progress one way or another I **** up something or piss off someone to get myself back to feeling depressed or self destructive.

I swear I don't know where I am going, but the path I am heading down seems to be really hard and challenging. I can't seem to get my life together and be happy with myself or anyone else. I don't know what to do and I can't stand to take the constant bull **** anymore with my state of mind. It's just too much to handle for anyone I don't want to deal with it at all.

I'm just really stuck and have no clue on how to make it any better.

You are in equal company here. I am sorry you feel this way cause I know exactly how this feels 100 times over.

I wish I had an upbeat message for you. I am just not anywhere near upbeat right now. I do have a few moments of happiness, or what seems like happiness so I try to take advantage of that when they come. Most times they feel fake but I still force myself to go with it. It always come crashing down on me so I think those times are fleeting.