Setting a goal for therapy

I go back to see the psych nurse practicioner next week. She's probably going to ask me if I've looked into getting a therapist. I'm going to tell her that it'd be kind of useless without having a "goal" for the therapy --seeing as how that's the first thing the therapist will discuss and write on my permanent record. My last bout of therepy didn't help at all. Ten sessions over six months (I don't think every three weeks was effective, but that's how they do it here). My goals were probably a bit too lofty: 1) develop some self-esteem and 2) make a friend or have some sort of social life.

I'm thinking that if I can get back in for a round two with a different therapist maybe my goal should just be to somehow "learn how to live with this #!%^t without expecting much of any improvement."

So, my question to those of you willing to share ... Do you have a specified goal for therapy, and what is it?

Hi Touch of gray, I think you have already made the important first step by setting yourself some concrete goals. The next step for you and your future therapist would likely be to assess how realistic the goals are (for a specific time frame), as well as breaking them apart in smaller goals.
With my old therapist we didn't have any specific goals which honestly I found strange but since it was my first therapist ever I trusted that it was supposed to be that way. Now I have a new therapist and we have defined some goals, although nothing very specific yet. We haven't really set up a time frame for me to achieve them yet though. My goals would be to be able to use public transportation, do my own shopping etc. So basically I have to develop coping strategies in order to reduce my anxiety symtoms and be able to master every day life situations.
I hope you will find a competent therapist who is willing to work with you the way you want to. Speaking from my experience so far it might take some time until you find the right one for you. Maybe the nurse you are seeing would be able to recommend someone. take care

chocmouse, Thanks for the reply. I'm so sorry any of us have to go through this stuff. Taking even small steps feels like climbing a mountain sometimes, and it's hard to convey that in a way other folks can understand.

Hi, I'm glad if it helped. I know..what looks like no effort at all to outsiders, for me it feels like extreme sports : ) It's just so important to have a nurturing environment around you, but unfortunately not many of us are lucky enough to have that. The more important it is to find a good therapist who can motivate and support you.
I actually started making a checklist for the things that I look for in my therapist after the first therapist didn't turn out to be that helpful. Maybe you could write down what qualities are important to you. Wishing you good luck on your search and for your future

The ones I have been to, in my 30's, I've brought in goals. Yet, the focus primarily focused on dealing with the here and now, and they didn't bring up goals, that I recall. I don't recall goals, when I was 9/10 years old, just went in and talked. Maybe my dad had goals, I don't recall.
As a teen, early teens, I don't recall goals. Just went in and talked about what was going on in my life.
In my late teens, my mom brought me, to appease my dad, after I moved in with her. She was the type, that three sessions and done, when she heard what she wanted to hear, that my dad was the heart of what was troubling me.
In my early 20's, I went to an on-campus counselor, until their services ran out. I don't recall goal setting.
As aware as I am, about therapy, and I am always reading about goal setting, I've yet, to have a therapist ask me what my goals were. Perhaps, just hearing my life story was enough to keep me going in?

I do realize that to see a psychiatrist, they do ask, if we are in therapy. I wonder, if that is because when they are prescribing meds, it's symbolic that we are trying to overcome our anxieties, and insomnia, etc. Those appointments are few and far between, and maybe, just maybe, checking up with our therapists is a way to check to see that we aren't, you know, abusing our meds/? Just an offhanded thought there...speaking outloud, so to speak.

Your first round of goals, was to build self esteem and make a friend or two? Why is 10 sessions, all they will do, if you don't mind sharing? It can take 16 sessions alone to complete a CBT therapy session.

Thanks for the reply healingme4me. The therapist sort of dumped me, I guess. He had to review my progress at the 10 session mark - part of the rules, I guess. (My insurance company seems more compassionate than the physicians network around here - they're all about rules and not getting too involved it seems) So when I said - like I always did at every session - that I wasn't making any progress he got quiet for a moment. Then he says, "Do you have any more appointments scheduled? You don't have to schedule more appointments, you know." If there's anything I'm good at its knowing a brush-off when I see one. Really, it was mutual. I wasn't going anywhere with the therapy.

The psych nurse practicioner I just started seeing for the meds does seem like she isn’t just trying to process me and pass me along to someone else. She spend 1-1/2 hours with me for the initial appt. I see her for my 2nd appt. (for a med check) this week. I just want to be somewhat prepared ‘cuz I know she’s going to ask me about therapy again.

I absolutely hate it when they ask me my goal for therapy! I mean obviously I want to get help with my problems. I just freeze up when they ask me that question.

If you want to work on your self esteem still, I'd get a self esteem, depression, or other interesting-looking workbook and take it to a first of 10 session thing with a therapist (if they insist you get one) and work through it, discussing during sessions what you have learned, what difficulties you are having, questions you have, etc. Treat therapy like a "class" in whatever subject the workbook is on and the book as a textbook, your life as the practicum/lab :-)

I don't think your goals sound too lofty at all, but you need more regular support than you had before, 10 sessions over 6 months is hard to build much consistently on...although it sounds like your scheduling options are complicated, as in, you don't have much of a choice.
My goal is to work on grieving/loss and letting go, determined by myself and not my Ts, although they agree this is a good goal (I have two, working on getting out of therapy with one and into therapy with another). I know my depression started with a big loss in 2010, although I was already prone to it with a very high anxiety level, previous losses I had not really dealt with, plus I am quite OCD.
Anyway, I hope your next appt. with the nurse practitioner goes well. It sounds like you know what to ask for help with, you just need the right resources to give it to you.